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How long after your 1st child was born did you start riding again?
And how long after your 2nd (if appropriate)?
{Mischievous answer}
About 6 hours. Sweamrs had a long and moderately traumatic birth so they kept her plus sweajnr in for observation. I went home. Slept for a bit then went for a ride to clear my head.
(Better answer)
Not sure but probably a couple of months at least. Things change so fast initially it's hard to set up any sort of routine and you're exhausted. I'm guessing by 12'weeks we were both doing little rides.
Baby 1 - next day
Baby 2- not a clue
baby 3 - 9 days
About 4 weeks. Wife would go visit family on a weekend so gave me a few hours to get a ride in.
2nd child was similar, our 2 were born about 15 months apart. I wouldn’t go out during the week, only when I knew my wife had family support.
The wife is in all day with the kids I was lucky enough to get a break by going to work, she would need me at home of an evening.
Baby 1 - couple of months. But I never rode the same amount or in the same way as before. More local, shorter rides. Longer rides tended to be on holiday when we had extra child care. Got into road riding for better riding / faff ratio.
2 & 3 - quite quick after but very different to pre kids. Lots of short rides, Zwift. Cyclocross races were good as can be done by late morning and local. As likely to go running these days as riding.
Since I've had kids mtbing has gone from my #1 activity outside of work to something I fit in to keep fit. So no days away, no fancy kit etc. Tbh I enjoy taking the kids out in the hills more than going out on my own so doesn't really feel like a loss and they grow up very quickly. Biggest loss for us is that me & wife used to go out riding together and that's nearly impossible these days.
You start planning rides a little more rather than just turning up to them, commutes home turn into longer, slightly more off-road rides and so on.
You'll be back on the bike when there's a natural break, be that when parents or whoever visit for the day, second child will be harder though, so much to fit in as well as biking unfortunately.
Similar to the second poster, was out riding again within hours. Wife needed to stay in hospital for the night and Coronavirus rules meant that I was booted out of the hospital pretty soon after birth.
Since birth I've gone from riding most days to maybe 1-2 per week. Usually a good 4+hour one on a weekend when she will visit a friend with the baby. Lucky enough to have good riding from the door, but find that running is usually more time efficient. Child is now 6 months.
We have been firm throughout that our hobbies are integral to who we are, central to our friendship groups and important for both health/fitness and our mental well-being, especially given the shock to the system of having a child and the tough year with the virus. So we always make time for each other to do the things that we enjoy.
Time is tight through the week, but now I'm working from home I usually get up at 0600ish when the baby first wakes and take him out for an hour walk or run with the buggy. Once he is a bit bigger then I'll start taking him out in the bike trailer. Obviously a different thing cycling with adult mates, but it gets me my daily exercise, baby and I love our mornings together but most importantly it allows my wife another couple of hours uninterrupted rest before I start work.
As well as finding time to do your 'thing', it is also good to find time for your partner to have breaks away from home and the baby to do whatever it is that she enjoys.
#1 - few days, had a hill climb to race so would’ve been rude not to have a ride after
#2 - not a clue, certainly not as quickly as #1
It was about two weeks until I did any exercise, then it was running only for a bit until I reckon I got back on the bike around 4 weeks.
Mini-ninja is now nearly 2, and while I still ride nearly every weekend they’re more often than not quick two hour blasts rather than all day adventures. Switched to the road bike as well to maximise riding time (live in west London so good mtb hard to come by locally!).
As another poster said previously, we think it’s really important to keep up hobbies and the things that make us who we are.
My 3 kids are in their 20's, and I was back at work the next day, and for all 3 of them I was deducted a days' leave for while I was in the hospital for their birth...
Based on that, I rode the next day as I used a motorcycle for my commute. Didn't cycle then.
Is this a bit like a colleague who can only get 2 hours maximum out of the house once a week, because of the 'family' (both kids are at school BTW)?
it depends on what your partner and child need.
I have ridden about 8 times since my son was born 19 months ago.
But I have also taken up RC as a hobby so I guess I could have ridden a lot more, I take him with me when I am crawling in the woods and that and he loves the run around with no danger.
If your Mrs has has a C-section or traumatic birth I would count out any rides until she is mobile again.
I do commute on a bike daily so may be that covers the cravings.
TBH my riding never stopped after the birth of our 4. I just adapted...I waited until Mrs Stern and baby were asleep in bed and then go out for a ride. I started taking them in the Chariot trailer at about three months. I strapped a baby car seat in the trailer which kept the head supported. Killed three birds with one stone doing that. The babies slept the whole time, it gave Mrs S some relief, and I got some training in.
Fairly quickly, but the rides were more planned (ie, I'm going out first thing Saturday morning) and also when that's your window, that's your window....as a result I've ridden in some pretty shitty weather and then sat looking after the littl'uns while wife went out somewhere in glorious sunshine. That's the rub of it.
As others have said, you don't stop being you because you have kids, and if your other half stops you doing that you need to nip it in the bud. Yes, there will be compromises.
My regret was giving up cricket, but being semi-competitive we were travelling to away games at 11 to be at grounds for 12, team talks, warm ups, maybe a net and then playing between 1pm and prob 7pm at least, then a shower, drink with the oppo and home by about 11.....even I couldn't justify that but I do miss it, when I had another 5+ years in me.
I mean i could still play now but I can't see, I can't run, I can't bend down......
It totally depends on what is needed, no two births, babies, mums or families are the same.
I don't remember particularly not riding, certainly not to the point of remembering!
That said I was commuting by bike at the time of all three.
I don’t remember particularly not riding, certainly not to the point of remembering!
That really. Not a lot changed in that context, we all need a little time away to keep our sanity.
Something i do now as well is go out earlier on the weekend day i go out, so start before 0800 then meet up with others when they arrive at 0900 or 1000, that way i can get a good ride in and get back in time to do afternoon stuff with the family, as many say though, it'll be full of compromise and will also be linked to how much support you have around you.
I rode and windsurfed up to being 6th months pregnant.
It was around four months after birth of the first before I could sit long enough on the saddle and about three weeks after the second.
Both girls were in a child seat very early and then onto a Trailgator as soon as possible.
2 year old twins here. I’ve been proper riding about 6 times since then and kayaking twice.
We’ve bumbled around the local woods quite a few times with the trailer over this summer. But that’s it.
As I’m a stay at home dad (mostly), we go out in the woods and walk/climb/play/fall off for a few hours every day
It totally depends on what is needed, no two births, babies, mums or families are the same.
This nails it. If you've not already had the baby, then you have no idea what it will be like. You might be able to head out riding in a few days, or it might be weeks or months before you and your partner feel comfortable with one of you heading off for any length or time or regularity.
We had premature twins, which kind of put everything else on the back burner for months.
Wait and see, and be prepared to have your plans revised.
About a day.... Wife was in hospital for a week and I was home alone for much of it. Although I became a propper weekend (maybe monthly) warrior for about 10yrs.
About a month, when I realised I was driving to work in such an exhausted state that I couldn't remember the journey, and started commuting by bike.
I definitely got out for few rides during my two weeks paternity leave both times, but in general I do a lot less riding post kids (which is my choice).
Just rethinking this on - we are an 'outdoor' family and were as a couple before. This meant that we 'got' how good a ride, walk etc is. Our lads were in baby slings from the moment mrs_oab felt able to waddle back down the park for a walk, in baby trailers or canoes as soon as we could. We also keep and kept personal time for rides, walks and trips.
My sister however lives for the couch and 'stenders, so I saw my brother in law basically put his bike away for a year. 🙁
I think as a couple of people have already said, it all depends on the birth, the baby, the parents etc...
Mine is 2 in Feb, I was riding probably a month or two after she was born (if that) but it was local night rides after tea and early morning rides rather than big days out every week. I also skated to work most days and ran a fair bit. We didn't have the easiest first six months, and MrsMonkey struggled so a lot of planned rides ended up being cancelled so I could look after MiniMonkey while she rested.
By the time we were on a more even keel winter was kicking in, and I started getting in the odd day out to the hills or longer road ride, with the plan to build a bit of fitness to do the odd longer day in the hills and maybe even a weekend in the Lakes this summer just gone (for context, I live in Hull).
Then Covid happened.
We're really lucky in that we both still have jobs and can work from home; trying to fit that around no childcare was tricky, so Lockdown 1.0 was all about local night rides and early morning rides again, plus skating or BMXing on evenings.
I pretty much stuck with this out of Lockdown, and as Lockdown 2.0 has kicked in that's coincided with MiniMonkey permanently having colds (and being unable to go to nursery / grandparents) and MrsMonkey getting her usual crippling bout of SADS, meaning that early mornings I've been taking MiniMonkey to give her a rest and trying to fit in some running on evenings.
I'm keen to get back to riding more, but family circumstances dictate otherwise for the moment.
I'll ask the question: are you the mum or not?
I suspect the answer to the question, and reasons why, will vary depending upon whether it's you that's pushing a baby out through your vagina or not.
Im the mum, as Matt above. We were an active couple before the girls arrived and had no intention of changing that. Fortunately for us they joined in everything from an early age, cant have harmed them as they are both still very active.
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I don’t think people without twins ever quite understand. LOL.
Far too long. I was working too many hours, had a 90 minute each way commute, I was trying to do up our house in my "spare time" and trying to spend as much time as possible with the baby and my wife.
In honesty, I don't know how I didn't fall asleep on the motorway. I was sleep deprived, stressed and eating badly. If I'd made time to ride a bike every so often I'd have been in much better form.
It was days before I got out, would sneak out for a local loop when baby was napping in the afternoon, then come home and cook tea.
Pre baby I would ride 2/3 evenings in the week then saturday and or sunday, I am now on dad hours, 1 night ride a week after baby is in bed and then get a morning every weekend with a full day granted with advanced notice.
“This nails it. If you’ve not already had the baby, then you have no idea what it will be like. You might be able to head out riding in a few days, or it might be weeks or months before you and your partner feel comfortable with one of you heading off for any length or time or regularity.“
It’s been different for all three of ours. The youngest has just turned one and is a very intense, very bright and very demanding baby who doesn’t sleep well. I commute on my MTB and often get some silliness in, sometimes via proper trails but at the point where I’d have been going back to my regular group night ride, the global pandemic hit.
And with a baby that gets bored and thus cantankerous very easy, and two bigger children to home school until the summer, and a business I own that mostly supplies the live music industry, it’s been pretty hellish. And now everything is shut again... Getting to play on my bike for a few hours whilst my wife sinks deeper into the metaphorical quagmire would be unfair.
Just do what feels right for all of you.
How long after your 1st child was born did you start riding again?
Obviously clicking on this as a non-parent I immediately took the question to mean getting some loving action back on.
“I don’t think people without twins ever quite understand. LOL.“
This is so true. It’s different for everyone!
We don’t have twins but all of ours, particularly the eldest and youngest are really full-on. “She’s so alert!” were the first comments from midwives, doctors, etc.
The other thing that makes a huge difference is having close family or very close friends locally. I have friends with similar age kids who get to go out riding loads because their wife goes round to her parents’ or sisters’ rather than being stuck with solo childcare at a weekend, or they get to offload the kids entirely. We can’t do that because all the grandparents and aunties/uncles are too far away. Not complaining, it’s just a fact or moderen life, especially if you left for uni and never returned to your hometown.
I think I all but stopped riding when first one arrived. Not just the lack of time, but regularly getting up at 5am was hard work. I switched to running as a way of keeping fit. After 6 - 7 months I'd cash in my weekend lie-in and ride instead (we took it in turns to do the early shift but I'd ride instead of sleeping for mine). After a year I started night riding (wife on sofa with glass of wine & little one in bed = me off for a ride). It carried on from there with only a short stop when second child arrived.
6 days after the first came home, 4 days after the second came home
I dropped riding completely for the first 9 months. It seemed the right thing to do.
I then picked up riding early, like, really early (4:00a.m) at the weekend and after 19.00 in the evenings when mum and baby were asleep.
Away days didn't exist until they were older, and now they're teenagers there are loads of activities to shuttle them for so the weekend trips have never really come back properly. I'm content with that. Having a Dad that was often working and somewhat reserved with my brother and I, I don't begrudge the time with them because Its good for all of us.
How long after your 1st child was born did you start riding again?
I wasn't cycling much beforehand - cycling took off about 6 months after no 1.
And how long after your 2nd (if appropriate)?
I don't recall any specifics. That was a cesarian, so probably not immediately but there was no real delay and some of that would have been with no1 too to reduce pressure on other half, and we had a trailer that took the car seat to there was gentle rides with no 2 from about 3 months.
Is this a question for lads or lasses?
Is this a question for lads or lasses?
scrolled to the bottom to say this. I love ho w all the males are taking as being aimed at them (which it could be) but no-one until now has considered it could be a question to other mothers after ACTUALLY giving birth.
anyway, as a male i rode very occassionly, like a few time a year until each kid started school, then back to normal.
zerocool
I don’t think people without twins ever quite understand. LOL.
Going from one kid to two a year or so later isn't double the work, it's somehow triple.
Two newborns at the same time I can't even begin to imagine.
I remember this 5 years ago - my wife said I could go MTB with a mate - but then she made me 90 minutes late [kid was 3 months old at this point], my riding buddy went without me and I had a shout in the car in the Chilterns.
Tried to find the thread that I started in response - great advice on there - will repost if I can find.
I think it depends on your relationship and set-up. If you've got quite a split in roles, or, if you are the higher status [for want of a better word] partner then you tend to get what you want.
If you are fairly equal, 'free time' can be a real source of friction.
Once the kid is in a sleep routine, I'd get into night riding heavily - every time you have an away day / afternoon - you will pay for it one way, or the other.
PM me if you need someone to unburden on.
As people have said above, a lot will depend on your kid, your partner, you situation;
Kid's health
Mum's health
Kid's feeding and sleeping
Your local support structure - family, friends, NCT
Your work - the hours in particular.
No 1 - under a week, the first 6 months didn't curtail riding much as little ones are so dependant on mummy. After that, I cut out long rides, sticking to morning only. A gravel bike really helps with getting bike time from the door.
No 2 - Under a week because the inlaws came over from Denmark and stayed a week so I had some time. Since then though the cycling has dropped right off due to the wife wanting weekend to be totally family time which is great if we do something but is shit if I'm there just for support and we're stuck in. I love spending time with the kids but I need my own time but in the grand scheme of things it's only a few years.
I rode the morming we were going into hospital to be induced for number 1, safe in the knowledge that i might not get one in for a while. I recall i went out that week though......
Number 2 was ages though as your duties were split. I went back to work before I exercised propely !!
I dropped riding completely for the first 9 months. It seemed the right thing to do.
That’s interesting as I saw the opposite. Riding is the release from whatever is happening at home. Like everyone else, certainly not the dawn till dust trips of old but really important for both parents to get out doing something.
From no.1 I’ve got nice photos of hiking around with him at 3months while mum went off for a loch swim. When there are 2+ kids it’s harder of course but I still feel it’s important to get away for a while (again, talking both parents here)
Additionally, this is another thread I started.
Scroll-down to read the comment by @Muke
https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/becoming-a-dad-any-tips/page/2/
I died with laughter. Still makes me smile.
Link broke
Just ride the baby home from hospital with a bike trailer in it’s baby seat 😂
Never understood why people stop doing things that make themselves them just because they have a kid. So many friends now look dead inside and won’t have the fitness to keep up with their kids when they start riding.
Half the time the mum is with the baby at a baby group and they are lying on the sofa doing Netflix so it’s nothing to do with support.
Shame.
That’s interesting as I saw the opposite. Riding is the release from whatever is happening at home.
Shows we're all different I guess.
Never understood why people stop doing things that make themselves them just because they have a kid. So many friends now look dead inside and won’t have the fitness to keep up with their kids when they start riding.
Set your alarm clock to go off 5 times every night for 3 years and see what happens your appetite for shredding the gnarr.
Not sure if this is aimed at Mum's or Dad's?
Dad's = what you can, when you can, but get your season goals out of the way ahead of due date. I got my second cat licence 3 days before my second child was born. I knew the birth would ruin my season so hit the first part of the season hard, then prioritised the family.
You can still ride and be good with young children, but you need to:
1. Prioritise your family and their needs, nothing will ruin your cycling (and everything else) more than being selfish. If you are the model husband for 95% of the week, she will be more willing to let you slope off for a few hours to ride.
2. Be flexible - ride when it least annoys everyone else. Be prepared to get up early (long lonely extended commutes in the dark or turbo sessions)
3. Prioritise your riding - make the most of the limited time you have, whether thats doing rides that = maximum fun or maximum training benefit etc
4. Being the Dad to a newborn is hard, so you need to make sure you look after yourself, get enough sleep and do the things that you want to do too. Newborns are so boring really, so you need to keep up with your own interests.
Took a while after the first for anything mote than a couple of hours from the door , until he started nursery really . The fact i do shifts really helped as i have days off in the week when he was in nursery . when no.2 came along no.1 had started school so maybe a few months but i had got into a routine of riding that suited family life a bit more , early starts , night riding etc etc Also decent bad weather riding kit helps as living in Scotland very rarely do decent weather and an opportunity to ride coincide so i've learnt to just get out when i can whatever the weather .
One difference between my first and second was i had started doing other less time demanding types of exercise , running , kettlebells , bit of weight training with a PT . the idea being to stay as fit as i could so when the opportunity of a day out with mates came i wasn't breathing out my backside . It helps with riding with the kids to , one on the shotgun seat while towing the other one up the fireroad is a good workout .
Never understood why people stop doing things that make themselves them just because they have a kid. So many friends now look dead inside and won’t have the fitness to keep up with their kids when they start riding</quote>even the least unfit adult will keep up with a kid when they start riding. Now by the time their kid is 12 they might be getting dropped on the hills...
<quote>Half the time the mum is with the baby at a baby group and they are lying on the sofa doing Netflix so it’s nothing to do with support.
Not sure what parallel universe you live in where mum's spend 1/2 the time in baby groups and dads watch Netflix all day.
“Not sure what parallel universe you live in where mum’s spend 1/2 the time in baby groups and dads watch Netflix all day.”
With our first two my wife knew that if I wasn’t at work and she was doing something with the kids without me then it was pretty much guaranteed that I’d be going out for a bike ride. We now have three so I seem to always be in charge of at least one. Maybe when this pandemic is over things will get easier.
Thankfully my job and my other main hobby are closely intertwined (the latter sired the former).
We were windsurfers more than cyclists when the kids were born. Mrs BigJohn went back on the water in lake Bala in early May 4 weeks after our 2nd was born (glacially cold) and about 3 weeks after the 3rd. I didn't wait quite as long, that was the deal.
Another outdoor family here, also slightly bemused at the majority of very dad-centric responses 🙂
Mrs was back on the mtb 3 weeks after each kid. She rode mtb singlespeed euros when 2nd was about 10 wks old with a breastfeed before / after the racy bit. I rode whenever but can't remember exact timescales.
My comment was half joke but in reality each mother and baby coffee morning could be a bike ride for the dad. I witness too many men lounging on sofa during this time scratching balls rather than making use of it.
The longer it goes on the more weight gets added and further they get from ever seeing the gnar again. See too many unrecognisable from their younger years for no reason.
For reference I’m a Dad... Never bothered waking up in middle of night / early morn for kid or to catch a ride. Just as happy hitting BPW or pulling a trailer 😂
> https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/becoming-a-dad-any-tips/page/2/ < As I said above, the comment from @Muke is a gem.
Thanks to generalist for the link fix.