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Rule #1: Everyone riding a bike and being safe and having fun is doing it right.
Rule #2: Wear whatever the hell you want.
Rule #3: Nothing on your bike has to match. Cycling is already expensive, complicated, elitist, and often sexist and racist. Don’t make it harder because someone’s tires aren’t the same brand.
Rule #4: A Gran Fondo is as competitive as you want it to be, but the group ride is a workout, not a race. You should have no feelings about winning, not winning, who crossed the imaginary line first for no prize or how they did it.
Rule #5: In traffic, we take the space we need, obey the laws that make sense for us, and try to be courteous.
Rule #6: We all wave to each other. This includes triathletes, commuters, e-bikes, homeless people, and scooters. We’re in this together. The enemy is cars.
Rule #7: If you’re not into helmets that’s your decision, but do respect the policies of who you’re riding with. We don’t helmet shame strangers we see without them, but don’t show up on the group ride like that if that’s not how everyone else does it.
Rule #8: Strava is a social media platform, not a race. Follow Strava’s policies, express yourself with your cool bike rides and your pictures and fitness. If you lose a KOM, you remember that a KOM means nothing. You give Kudos and get inspired to improve and try to take it back.
Rule #9: For ***** sake don’t litter. I can’t believe I have to say that.
Rule #10 (This is broad to cover anything I’m missing): Don’t be a dick.
http://philthethrill.net/the-new-rules-of-cycling-aka-philuminati/
I think I prefer this one. Any to add?
It’s not quite as funny/tongue in cheek as the other set is it?
The other set aren't serious? Who knew?
Rule 5 contradicts Rule 10.
Rule 10 should be Rule 1, as that's all you need.
The enemy is cars.
Ummmm - no. The enemy is lack of consderation & courtesy, it cuts both ways.
.don't be a dick.
.don't mock people on shit bikes.
.don't be surly, you're supposed to be enjoying yourself.
Rules are for losers.
I could agree with rule 3 right up to the non-matching tyre BRANDS!!!
Although tbh I can sometimes convince myself to mix brands and the paranoia it induces doesn't apply to bikes I'm not riding.
So yeah. Whilst the velominati rules are more amusing, these are more like how I ride.
I don't do other peoples rules for my fun stuff.
The Velominatus stuff is a damn sight better written and funnier than this.
The Philuminati rules are like the 10 Commandments. If you're not doing it because it is the the right thing to do, you are unlikely to do it because someone has written it down. It reads like the Dogs at Pivot 24 stuff on the home page. Someone is desperate to fill some space on the webpage so quality control goes out of the window, result: indifferent pictures of dogs and sad copy.
I had to read those in a really nasal trainspotter voice and prefix each one with "" Err I think you'll find that........."
The velominati rules are funny because you know you're not supposed to take them seriously, but you probably do anyway.
definitely not waving at every cyclist
.don’t mock people on shit bikes.
Ironically, there's a fair few here that mock people on good bikes too. And with posh vans. Or with clothes they don't agree with.
I think I'll stick with the originals. For those out riding this weekend, rules 5 and 9 have been very much the order of the day. Hoping that summer will come back again soon!
This includes triathletes
A friend that I ride with always (without fail) mutters "make up your f&$king mind" under his breath when he sees a triathlete out training. Never fails to make me smile.
Rule 6? Nah...
You get a Nod/Smile if there's time, TBH I'd rather it was the other way round, i.e. "You don't need Validation from every other stanger you pass on a bicycle, Get over yourself FFS!"
This reminds me about the official rules of the euro cyclist, with gems such as:
'Campagnolo shall be THE ONLY acceptable component and it is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances and situations. The Euro Cyclist is expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy gruppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted. There is, however, a case by case exception for SRAM Red, but ONLY due to sponsorship stipulations, or unavailability of Campagnolo components due to international trade disputes.'
'28. In the event a motorist disturbs one’s ride: one shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the boot of the car while doing one’s best to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm and head gesticulations are strongly encouraged to help enhance the apparent rage. It is permitted to throw a bottle, if the perpetrator was a commissaire on a motorbike.'
(hoping the fb link works, the group's also worth a browse through)
Rule 6? Nah…
Yeah it does seem a bit OTT. A vague smile/nod should be more than enough.
Dear God those Euro rules are epic!