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Is it normal.. I mean perfectly placing strips before a sitting
I don't, but sometimes in public loos they are far from clean so I'll give it a wipe first.
I don’t think so, ain’t like toilet paper an impervious barrier is it? Pretty sure my ass isn’t much cleaner than anyone else’s. assuming it’s about germs that is?!
thermal barrier if you're forced to use one of those "prison" type stainless steel/anti drunken smash public toilets.
Anyway, we're all butch cycling types in here with massive quads so can master the hover surely?
We get that in our office with the result that it's
a) left on the seat
b) left in a pile on the floor
c) forms a huge paperberg in the pan.
Why it can't be flushed away I do not know.
Don't do the seat thing, but always lay down a crash mat first.
Ben Elton used to do a lengthy routine which included exactly this, back in maybe 1991, so I can’t imagine it’s massively uncommon 🙂
*Raises hand*
Use paper to lower seat. Wipe seat. Then line with paper.
No crash mat though - would start to be like a padded cell otherwise.
Anyway, we’re all butch cycling types in here with massive quads so can master the hover surely?
This. I do the hover whenever not at home. Started a few years ago before going on a snowboard holiday as a weird form of prep for my quads. Once you've done it a few times its quite easy and enables carefree pooing regardless of location. Even on virgin trains!
thought the guy was being sick on all 4s in front of bog... Said are you alright mate.... kill stare, turns out he was prepping
hence the asking
It's more to stop the chill of a cold toilet seat.
I always line the toilet to prevent Neptune's kiss.
https://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/infectious/5-diseases-toilet.htm
I've managed to get to 65 without catching anything from the enormous range of toilet seats I have sat on (as far as I know).
Is it normal.. I mean perfectly placing strips before a sitting
Yeah, normal in my world.
Sorry lads, but I don’t want to have your germs on my ass.
I don’t want to have your germs on my ass.
Why - do people eat off it or something?
Anyway, we’re all butch cycling types in here with massive quads so can master the hover surely?
Hovering itself isn't too hard. What I find difficult is simultaneously tensing the bits that need to be tense and relaxing the bits that don't
on all 4s in front of bog
Upholstering the seat is one thing, but doing it while kneeling and/or putting your hands on the cubicle floor is a whole world of broken priorities.
Squat + 3-ply splash-mat ftw. No touch. No splash-back. Then, having washed hands and when leaving conveniences, reach up above the outside exit-door and push firmly on the arm of the automatic door-closer. It will open the door and you haven't touched the wet faece/pee-encrusted door-handle in the process.
* edit reading back I realise that this sounds OCD and ODD. Which is in itself strange because at the time it just seems utilitarian* and efficient 😐
*Except now I've given the automatic door trick away. Leading possibly to imitation/acculturation, thereby reducing my future chances of a cleaner getaway.
Never ever sit on toilet seats, especially with the whole uncertainty over if you can get pregnant off them and all that I remember from school.
Can't imagine why folks would want to sit on other blokes pish. Get your hover on, get it done, get out!
What slowoldman said.
Fannyish paranoia.
Yeah, normal in my world.
An untapped market for crotchless underwear?
Fannyish paranoia
Only if you’re using the ladies
Can't preview this post, but what about those disposable seat covers????
I’m sat on a seat in the works toilet typing this. Can’t tell if it’s warm from the ambient temperature or from somebodies arse.
Only if you’re using the ladies
Or you're in the US.
I don't paper the seat but I do take in a spray ant-bacterial so I can destroy any colony forming units before I nest. Toilet seats fill me with dread.
This. I do the hover whenever not at home. Started a few years ago before going on a snowboard holiday as a weird form of prep for my quads. Once you’ve done it a few times its quite easy and enables carefree pooing regardless of location. Even on virgin trains!
It is quite satisfying in an odd way. You do have to remember not to wee no-handed though, or it will go on your trousers/shoes, depending on the angle of the dangle.
Will give it a wipe if it's covered in piss, but other than that I sit on the seat, what with it being a seat and all. I'm hugely unlikely to get ill from any germs on my arse, I mean I don't do anything with it other than sit on it and shit out of it. Hands however are another issue, I always make sure I give them a good wash after going to the toilet. Really annoys me when a toilet only has cold water and no soap. Unless your camping then obviously anything goes.
I thought that the tissue around the seat was a lady thing.
I had no idea people did it because the seat was cold either, I'd much rather sit on an ice cold seat than one that was warmed by the previous trap occupent. The heated seat in my Japenese hotel room freaked me out too, even though I know that nobody was in there before me. The [s]anal probe</s> squirt water jet was a pleasant surprise though.
I always line the toilet to prevent Neptune’s kiss.
This. There are few things worse than that light speed splashback washing over your o ring before it can fully close!😮
IBS and now ####ing diverticulitis I don't always have time to drop me trousers let alone redecorate the bog .....
Shirley IBS helps you to decorate the bog
Public toilets I do usually lay a paper mat on the seat.
Crash mat is essential, even at home though. You guys are monsters if you don't do that!
Only public toilets I don't usually paper are the women's ones but that's another story.
A paper ass gasket?
Only in the manky bogs...
Christ there's some odd people out there
Not half bobbyspangles! Was like being back at primary school again, 'everyone, bikebuoy has bum germs, ewwwww!' 😂😂😂
I have a thermos flask and a spray attachment so I can douse any cubicle with hot bleach before going in. Effective and surprisingly easy to carry. If it wasn't for the protective suit I don't think anyone would even notice
the trouble with the squat method I've found is that I'm more likely to pick up germs on the end of my knob as it drags on the floor
also your more at risk from worm eggs from someone's arse on the seat than germs.
Never ever sit on toilet seats, especially with the whole uncertainty over if you can get pregnant off them and all that I remember from school.
And AIDS!
bobbyspangles
Member
Christ there’s some odd people out there
Hell yeah. Ive seen some toilet seats that look like they have come out of the Jurassic period.
the trouble with the squat method I’ve found is that I’m more likely to pick up germs on the end of my knob as it drags on the floor
Better than sitting (ie even lower) and so wiping it around the filthy bowl, collecting random public poop-spatter, phlegm, pubic-hairs, piss and popped-haemorrhoids platelets full of HIV. *SQUUEEEEEEEEEEE 😱*
*Raises hand*
Use paper to lower seat. Wipe seat. Then line with paper.
No crash mat though – would start to be like a padded cell otherwise.
And all this in the woods?!