OFFICIAL Swinley (SEXYPARTY) all-welcoming First-day-of-spring FUN RIDE! – Page 3 – Bike Forum

philconsequence · 2011-02-14T14:42:06Z

[b]THE Swinley super-sexual super-fun all-welcoming March FUN RIDE![/b] OK, here we go again :) In the same way staff on planes ask you to pay attention as the safety announcement may have changed since your last flight, there are some changes and additional information in this post! I have broken it up into sections to try and answer as many questions in advance as possible: [b][u]WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?[/u][/b] Who wants to join us for a chilled not so serious not too fast ride? A ride that is completely devoid of mad skilz, big air and judgement, an afternoon of getting muddy in Swinley... Equally who wants to meet up with some of the weirdos from this forum and blast through the single track like a scolded yeti? The last SwingleySexyParty ended up with some confusion at the beginning and we ended up with everyone heading out in one BIG group of just over 45 riders.. this time I think it's sensible to have a couple of groups: [b]1 - "The A-Team"[/b], a group of riders so fast and AWESOME that it would be mean and nasty to make them wait for the slower riders... PaulD has kindly volunteered to lead this group. [b]2 - "The A(part2) Team"[/b], as above, but possibly necessary if enough people come along to have 2 faster groups... Thisisnotaspoon has kindly volunteered to lead this group. [b]3 - "The It's not how fast you ride its how much fun you're having (but secretly jealous of the extra confident healthy people) Team"[/b].... Cinnamon_Girl will be leading this group, feel free to stick photos of LOLcats on her backpack when she's not looking. Conversation and pace should be set by the slowest person in the "INHFYRIHMFYH(BSJOFECHP)" group so please dont worry about not keeping up with the mentalists, this should be an afternoon with lots of little stops and no pressure to be amazing. If it wasn't for a crack down on misogymathingy I'd almost jest it makes it a perfect ride to invite your lady friends along too ;) If that sounds like your idea of fun, then it would be a pleasure to have you along. [b][u]WHERE AND WHEN?[/b][/u] The plan is to meet at [u]11:30 on Sunday 20th March[/u] in the LookOut carpark for fettling, pumping up tyres, admiring my pyjamas/Yeti's pre-ride stretches and then setting off to ride at 12o-clock lunchtime. It is worth emphasising that it is sensible to allow plenty of time to park and, if needs be, use the Coral Reef car park which is across the road from the entrance to the LookOut. There is an Overflow car park that is accessed from far right hand side of car park on the road that exits the car park... It is alongside the B3430 Nine Mile Ride. A webpage with the look out address details (on the right of the map), map and directions is available [urlOnce you've parked up, unloaded your dandyweapon of choice and checked your "tyre choice for Swinley?" thread then come join me underneath the trees to the right just as you go though the Go-Ape gates. [b][u]ARE THERE ANY RULES?[/b][/u] Rules? Wouldn't that ruin the spirit of such a friendly chilled ride? Well yes it would if it was all taken too seriously, however there are some pointers that are worth getting out of the way now, fingers crossed they don't come across as super-strict rules.. more pieces of advice to make your ride and everyone else's that little bit more enjoyable. [b]1)[/b] Bring your own spares, [b]2)[/b] Bring your own camelback/water, [b]3)[/b] Wear a helmet if you've got one or do your own risk assessment and dont, [b]4)[/b] Bring your own mid-ride snacks, dont want any "bonking" now do we ;) [b]5)[/b] Route will be decided upon the day by the "leaders" of each group and will be dependent on any trail closures/conditions... [b]6)[/b] If LOTS of people turn up then we might need to break up into more than 2 groups, best to decide this on the day. [b]7)[/b] As with the last sexyparty...In the spirit of a beginners/gentle/nothing-too-serious-ride I will be wearing full on downhill pyjamas, I will ride a carrera from Halfords and I will make sure any bike snobs out there will be mortally offended by my blatant disregard for the unwritten rules of MTB... so if anyone is worrying about what they ride or their choice of lycra, relax as you wont be judged! [b]8 )[/b] We ride at the pace of the slowest rider in each group, or we ride at our own pace and wait at the top of the next hill/section/junction for others to catch up. [b]9)[/b] No pressure on anyone to do things they are not happy with as it's all about having fun! Walking certain sections/hills will not be frowned upon. [b]10)[/b] Due to potentially large numbers of riders, please don't bring your dogs as chances are mrsconsequence will ride into them whilst distracted by their awesomeness... She is still learning the hard way that you ride into what you're looking at. [u]Drink/nicotine/crack-pipes disclaimer:[/u] I dont really feel the need to tell people to be considerate, so I'll just say that people are people and will do what they want, but in the spirit of...

aleigh

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Well you won't be able to if I'm at the back!

Posted : 18/02/2011 5:54 pm

Elfinsafety

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I'll use a complex and sophisticated system of mirrors then...

Posted : 18/02/2011 5:55 pm

aleigh

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Now that I would like to see!

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:03 pm

Elfinsafety

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No, you won't be able to see it.

I will be able to see your bottom though....

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:04 pm

PeterPoddy

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So, if I was to come along, would it be necessary to bring, say, some cake?

I could, if necessary, lead a group as well. If anybody fancies it I could do a longer ride to somewhere a bit different? But we'd have to get on with it fairly sharpish.....

Anyone up for a mystery tour?
🙂

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:27 pm

Elfinsafety

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I am, as long as I can look at Aleigh's bottom. 🙂

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:30 pm

nacho

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I'm in. Got my licence to roam form Mrs Nacho. C u all there

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:39 pm

tazzymtb

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fink I'll leave you lot to it. You're all Freaks 😯

Posted : 18/02/2011 6:41 pm

aleigh

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Miss it miss out!

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:09 pm

SilentSparky

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Think I'll come along too, keep meaning to join one of the forum rides.

Its actually my birthday on the 20th also, no need to bring me presents/cards though 8)

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:15 pm

philconsequence

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mystery tour sounds like a cool option... people wanting to subscribe to the Peter Poddy MAgical Mystery Sex Tour should make themselves known 🙂

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:42 pm

CaptainFlashheart

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I'll be in the Alps. 8)

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:46 pm

Bigface0_0

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Peter Poddy MAgical Mystery Sex Tour

this does sound like a funny option but Im worry my mankini may get muddy and you dont want it to start rubbing!!!!

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:48 pm

Elfinsafety

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I'll be in the Alps.

You'd never come anyway. Have you ever been on a STW ride? Ever?

It's ok; we know you're not really a posh bloke. You really don't have to keep pretending...

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:50 pm

CaptainFlashheart

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😆

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:50 pm

Elfinsafety

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No it's not funny. If I had a pound for every time you've made an excuse not to come riding, I'd have enough money for an alpine ski-ing trip...

You do realise some of us do actually know who you are, don't you? I know somone who used to work with you... 😉

Did you see it kicking off in Trafalgar Square earlier? 😯

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12501482 ]

Knives, hockey sticks and other weapons were used on Thursday as tourists and commuters looked on, police said.

A man aged 19 was stabbed in the head, arm and back but he has since been discharged from hospital.

A 17-year-old stabbed in the chest is in a stable condition, as is a 19-year-old wounded in the neck, back and leg.

[/url]

Posted : 18/02/2011 7:56 pm

scud

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Count me in I'm up for it, make a change to our less than sexy BOB tops!

Posted : 18/02/2011 8:08 pm

PeterPoddy

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Actually I can't come. Oops. Seems I might be at the same orgy as WCA! 🙂

I knew I was out the night before but it's just clicked as to what I'm actually doing and where I'll be. (drunk and a long way away, basically) and I very much doubt I'll get back in time in a fit state to ride a bicycle.

Apologies for my stupidity 😳

Posted : 18/02/2011 8:14 pm

darkmattah

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Awwww...I immediately thought "I'm in" and then realised I'll be on a plane to Morzine for a bit of snow shenanigans.

If anyone wants bunga bunga (or weekend mountain biking) in the mean time I'll completely up for that though.

Posted : 18/02/2011 9:14 pm

philconsequence

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looking forward to this, PP tis a shame... we'll sacrifice a virgin in your honour 8)

darkmattah, morzine is a suitably sexy alternative.. i salute you

scud, be great to have you along!

Posted : 19/02/2011 10:56 am

philconsequence

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[img] [/img]

Posted : 19/02/2011 4:46 pm

aleigh

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who's wearing the mankini then?

Posted : 19/02/2011 4:48 pm

philconsequence

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you talking about on the ride or whenever i think my boss can't see me? 😆

Posted : 20/02/2011 8:54 am

aleigh

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i was thinking on the ride.....! can it be fluorescent pink though, the green hurts my eyes 😉

Posted : 20/02/2011 10:16 am

philconsequence

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ahh that'll be down to yeti, he bottled out of a ride today so he can get a full body wax especially 8)

Posted : 20/02/2011 5:45 pm

philconsequence

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heyhey

need to get an idea of roughly how many people are coming so far (all will be explained, but not just yet)...

can everyone either post and add to a growing list i.e.

phil
torm
yeti

phil
torm
yeti
CG

phil
torm
yeti
CG
mr whoppit

and so on.

or just post a "yup, will be there with 3 friends"

so i can get an idea of numbers so far 🙂

cheeeeeers!

Posted : 22/02/2011 7:08 am

neilneilorangepeel

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:09 am

Dickyboy

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Cautiously put it on my calendar - meeting you people for real has got me scared, hopefully the experience won't leave me mentally scarred 😕

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:12 am

DrRSwank

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Yes + a mate

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:20 am

TheSouthernYeti

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*gulp*

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:22 am

rOcKeTdOg

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Me and possibly 4 others

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:25 am

psychle

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone 😥 )

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:30 am

DezB

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You will be fine Dickyboy. I'm not there for a start..

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:43 am

topgunsteve

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I shall be attending with with 2 others

Posted : 22/02/2011 11:04 am

lexiekay

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay

Posted : 22/02/2011 1:36 pm

hilldodger

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please

Posted : 22/02/2011 1:47 pm

MrWoppit

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Me.

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:02 pm

TheSouthernYeti

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It's always 'me, me, me' with you!

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:05 pm

toab

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab (look for me at the back of team pootle [i]*makes mental note to remove basket from handlebars before setting off[/i]*)

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:07 pm

MrWoppit

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More me. Er, just had a look at available train times/likelyhood of Moday off - can't do it. Any chance of starting the ride earlier? 11 would be good for me.

Me me me.

Me.

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:25 pm

SilentSparky

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:54 pm

Kevsterjw

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:55 pm

MrHappyJack

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1

Posted : 22/02/2011 2:57 pm

Anonymous

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)

Posted : 22/02/2011 3:50 pm

Torminalis

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho

Posted : 22/02/2011 3:52 pm

cinnamon_girl

Posts: 17834

phil - you have invited your missus haven't you?

Numbers are looking good. 8)

Posted : 22/02/2011 4:01 pm

topgunsteve

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phil
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2

Posted : 22/02/2011 4:07 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

phil
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2

i'm hoping a couple of the people who volunteered themselves to lead add their names to the list 😆

Posted : 22/02/2011 4:35 pm

singletrackmind

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phil
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
torm
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:15 pm

DrRSwank

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i'm hoping a couple of the people who volunteered themselves to lead add their names to the list

I'm a Bracknell boy of old. I can lead but it'd need to be the very slow, fat, weeezy group.....

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:36 pm

TheSouthernYeti

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yeti

phil
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
torm
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind

Posted : 22/02/2011 9:41 pm

spikyjames

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Having just got my bike foo back over the weekend (not selling up now!) I'm gutted I'm going to have to miss this, in for surgery the day before 🙁

may be up for some weekend rides over the next few weeks though.

James

Posted : 22/02/2011 10:43 pm

neilnevill

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yeti

phil
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
torm
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill (if my superfubared ankle ever gets better...I'll check back closer to the date)

Posted : 22/02/2011 11:04 pm

philconsequence

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eeeeeeexcellent,

any more for any more?

Posted : 23/02/2011 7:04 am

I_Ache

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I might well come along. I really should go on a forum ride soon.

Posted : 23/02/2011 8:28 am

Tiger6791

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I might go but the whole having to introduce myself and awkwardness and embarrassment this will cause bothers me

"Hi I'm Matt.......,I'm Tiger,....I feel like a tit now"

"Yep"

Really regret this user name!

Posted : 23/02/2011 8:45 am

philconsequence

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was quite funny watching people ask each others names at the December ride 😆

even better was the embarrassment of people walking up the a big group of riders and asking "are you all singletrack world people?"

Posted : 23/02/2011 8:48 am

TheSouthernYeti

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Tiger you'll be fine.

What you want to do is start some embarrassing threads in the interim.

Then when we meet you, we can go... 'Oh [i]You're[/i] Tiger'

Posted : 23/02/2011 8:49 am

SamB

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yeti

phil
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
torm
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB

I'll possibly be overbiked - although I understand 8" front and rear is XC nowadays yes? 😉

Posted : 23/02/2011 9:42 am

philconsequence

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i wouldn't dare ride off a curb without at least 160mm travel at either end. so your bike should be fine for the gentle single track, please dont ride into any roots though dude, i dont want to have to call the emergency services. 😆

Posted : 23/02/2011 9:47 am

molgrips

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Dammit you are 6 months too late 🙁

Posted : 23/02/2011 10:39 am

TheSouthernYeti

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Or you came prematurely!

Posted : 23/02/2011 10:41 am

Torminalis

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I can't believe that you have stuck mrsc and goatboy on top of me.

Not coming now.

[img] ?w=450&h=337[/img]

Posted : 23/02/2011 2:31 pm

Torminalis

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torm
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
yeti
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB

ha.

Posted : 23/02/2011 2:32 pm

TheSouthernYeti

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yeti

torm
mrsconsequence
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB

Jeez, some peeople.

Posted : 23/02/2011 2:39 pm

Woody

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"Hi I'm Matt.......,I'm Tiger,....I feel like a **** now"

Your worried about being called Tiger when there's a DrRS**** and a Dickieboy!

Woody (it didn't mean that when I was at school 🙄 😆 )

Posted : 23/02/2011 2:47 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

so i've been removed from my own damn sexy party?!

well....

in order of people i like the most:

phil
mrsconsequence
yetis mum
torms dog
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB

Posted : 23/02/2011 4:23 pm

thisisnotaspoon

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I'm still in,a lthough after doing my knee a mischief at the weekend it'll be the slow fat knackers group rather than the fast group for me!

Posted : 23/02/2011 4:44 pm

TheSouthernYeti

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Cool, I should be able to get a lift down with my mum.
Add my name to the list!

Posted : 23/02/2011 5:06 pm

philconsequence

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considering the restraining order do you think its wise to bring your mum along... unless she's up for riding in the fast group so she keeps a good distance from me?

Posted : 23/02/2011 5:50 pm

Elfinsafety

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Oh no he insulted your mother and basically your whole family. 😯

I might come along, I might not.

It depends on how I feel.

And wether or not I will get the opportunity to look at Aleigh's bottom...

Posted : 23/02/2011 6:19 pm

neilnevill

Posts: 5746

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If you've ever MET Psychle you'll know you've got to be pretty weird to out weird him....Frankenbike still scares me and makes me curious at the same time [shudder] 😉

Posted : 23/02/2011 9:52 pm

Anna-B

Posts: 1368

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Looks like I'll be working away from home now that weekend 🙁
Will add my name to the list if I'm not!

Would have been up for PPs magical mystery add-on as well.

Posted : 23/02/2011 9:59 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

i've not insulted his mother, she left me many years ago by running off to sleep with a black bear IIRC.

honestly elf its as if you've forgotten i'm his father!

Posted : 24/02/2011 6:41 am

aleigh

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phil
mrsconsequence
yetis mum
torms dog
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB
aleigh - woohoo!

Posted : 24/02/2011 5:20 pm

Elfinsafety

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(Rubs grubby hands together in a lecherous manner...)

Posted : 24/02/2011 5:26 pm

Gephaudio

Posts: 1

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phil
mrsconsequence
yetis mum
torms dog
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB
aleigh - woohoo!
Gephaudio- bike now back from the Falklands

Posted : 24/02/2011 10:00 pm

mulacs

Posts: 472

Full Member

phil
mrsconsequence
yetis mum
torms dog
goatboyisheretopleaseyou
CG
neilneilorangepeel
Dickyboy
DrRS**** +1
rOcKeTdOg +4
Psychle (all alone )
lexiekay
hilldodger - tourists group please
toab
SilentSparky
kevsterjw
Mr Happy Jack +1
Flebby + 3(maybe 2 more, need to confirm.)
Nacho
TopgunSteve +2
Singletrackmind
neilnevill
SamB
aleigh - woohoo!
Gephaudio- bike now back from the Falklands
mulacs

Posted : 24/02/2011 10:30 pm

rOcKeTdOg

Posts: 24332

Full Member

introduce oneself?, if you don't recognise me i may flounce off!

Posted : 24/02/2011 10:39 pm

philconsequence

Posts: 0

Free Member

Topic starter

rocketdog i think you'll be fine as long as you don't shave the mighty-beard-of-awesome off before the ride!

swinley last night was entertaining, got lost a couple of times exploring stuff we hadn't ridden before in an effort to avoid the seagull/stickler etc whilst the recent trail maintenance "beds in" and apart from 2 other sets of lights we didnt see anyone else in the woods, such a great feeling 😀

think i need to change my front brake pads before the ride though! still work but there's an almighty constant squeel

Posted : 25/02/2011 7:19 am

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