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I've got a gloss black frame but would prefer a matt finish . I'm not bothered about resale as it's a keeper and can't be bothered to strip the bike and powdercoat. It's actually a steel surly if that makes any difference and I don't care if it looks a bit rough at the end as I quite like the "well worn" style but don't want to damage it . Just wondered about the best way to achieve this ...fine grade wire wool/wet and dry? matt lacquer ? abrasive kitchen cleaner ? Any other ideas , warnings, tips, advice much appreciated.
Give it a bloodygood clean ,then use Matt laquer.

nail varnish remover
Any sort of surface abrasion is going to be almost impossible to make look even and you’ll end up with a scruffy rough brushed finish anyway.
Aren’t all Surly frames powder coated anyway? If so you won’t get the same effects that you get on painted frames.
I’d say the matt lacquer spray is probably the best idea.
Could you not just get some cheap glasses, abrade the lenses a bit and use those whenever you want to look at it?
Just ride it lots, get it dirty, strap bags to it etc.
wet and dry
That. Matt finish on Asia-made bikes is done with an etching agent applied to the laquer. You can get a good / similar result with very fine wet and dry paper, used wet and starting with a fine grade. I did a fork this way a while back and a set of guards more recently. It'll be very even looking if you use the finest grade and can give it a few hrs. Will end up satin to mid-matt finish dep on grade of paper used, works well and if not you've keyed the surface for a respray.