[Closed] "I hate cyclists"

Can't even click on the link! A knob at work today said thank god it's raining, there are no bloody cyclists on the road. I won't mention what car he drives for fear of stereotyping......

Can only get the first couple of paragraphs, but we'll all hate her in return as she tries an ebike...

clickbait in the telegraph for a change

In the part you can read...

She hates cyclists and wishes to swat them away and in the next breath goes on to say she wouldn't cycle in London because it is far too dangerous... How does she seriously not put 2 + 2 together there?

It also reads like a stealth ad:

No, they were staring at the bike; a stylish, unusual-looking model with chunky tyres that somewhat resembles a classic motorcycle. I was stopped a total of six times during my seven-mile ride by passers-by enquiring as to the brand, each time panicking that I was being approached instead for committing a traffic crime (which I more than likely was). This is possibly what it feels like to own a rare vintage car.

Best to ignore I think.

NB - Look up iamadamdev on GitHub for a 'handy' firefox/chrome extension 😉

I think that was my reason for asking if anyone does subscribe and for the rest of the article.
It feels click-bait, however I'm also objecting to a major paper like the torygraph posting something which many will use to justify thier view of the world.

I refuse to click on any link that includes "I hate cyclists" or similar. I have to deal with enough of that shit when I am cycling.

I hate cyclists, but the roads are empty so I finally joined them
ANNABEL FENWICK ELLIOTT APRIL 29, 2020
bike
In a post-Covid world, could this be the way?
A wobbly novice trip through Notting Hill and down memory lane
From a driver's perspective, cyclists are like wasps: irritating little hazards that drift around, either getting in your way and slowing you down or hovering perilously in your blind spot.

You don't want to swat a wasp away, lest it sting you. You certainly don't want to inadvertently swat a cyclist, lest you maim them.

But this past weekend, just to see what it was like, I became that wasp. A new British-based e-bike company had just launched and offered me a ride - an opportunity I would, pre-lockdown, have politely declined. It's just too dangerous to cycle in London, as far as I'm concerned.

Our current unprecedented scenario, however, for all its restrictions and limitations, does have its upsides. One being that with the roads relatively empty, and public transport all-but ground to a halt it's a good time to hop on two wheels. Better still in such beautiful (if fleeting) weather. And so I did. It was a wobbly start, but in accordance with the old adage, muscle memory soon kicked in and off I went.

I had initially planned to venture aimlessly into the city, get whimsically lost and collect some amusing anecdotes along the way. By the time I got halfway down my street in Ladbroke Grove, I came to my senses and abandoned that plot. It would be unreasonable at the moment to approach strangers for directions and unsafe to be fiddling around with Google Maps on my phone.

And so I turned in the direction I know best, a trip through Notting Hill and down memory lane; to the old house I grew up in two miles away, the primary school I attended, the theatre I once performed at, the market at which we used to buy our Christmas trees, and the parks I spent my weekends as a child. These are places I seldom frequent today, never on a bike, and certainly never devoid of people.

Portobello: the emptiest its ever been
Portobello: the emptiest its ever been
Early into my venture, I noticed a lot of people staring. Was I doing it wrong? Possibly. Is cycling frowned upon at the moment? Not that I know of. No, they were staring at the bike; a stylish, unusual-looking model with chunky tyres that somewhat resembles a classic motorcycle. I was stopped a total of six times during my seven-mile ride by passers-by enquiring as to the brand, each time panicking that I was being approached instead for committing a traffic crime (which I more than likely was). This is possibly what it feels like to own a rare vintage car.

I took the scenic route south towards my old house, not to enjoy the view but rather to avoid the main roads and more specifically, the loud, lumbering red buses. Being behind them is scary because they obscure your view. Being in front of them was, for me at least, awkward and compunctious, in that I was acutely aware of my being in the way. And drifting along beside them? Imminent death seemed possible at any moment. It must have been six weeks since my veins last pinged with adrenaline. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

Thanks to my cautious detour, and quite by accident, I passed The Tabernacle, a Romanesque Grade II-listed terracotta dome hugged by two pointed spires that was built in 1869 as a church. Its relationship with God didn't last forever. Since the Seventies, it has served as everything from a rehearsal space for The Rolling Stones and Pink Floyd, to a venue that hosts a theatre for school productions.

The Tabernacle: closed for business
The Tabernacle: closed for business
I don't think I've been back since I had the lead part in our sixth form production of The Princess and the Pauper; a role that, given I never liked being on stage, required more adrenaline even than passing buses on a bike.

Next, past candy-coloured Victorian terrace houses and through the peculiarly quiet streets of Portobello. In the 18th century, this slice of London was Portobello Farm - named in honour of Admiral Edward Vernon who conquered the town of Puerto Bello in what is now Panama, back in the days when colonisation was fashionable.

Today it hosts a market each Saturday, famous for its antique wares; is home to the Electric Cinema, one of Britain's oldest picture houses; and is where you'll find E&O, one of the best (if pricest) pan-Asian restaurants around.

Just around the corner is my childhood home on Pembridge Villas. I stopped to gaze at the glossy black door, which was once a dusty pink; and to look up at my room, perched right at the top, where I used to spend hours crunched up by the window reading stories.

Gone from outside the garage is my father's Seventies cobalt blue Bristol, and in its place, a gleaming black BMW - he wouldn't approve of that. Had the current owners been watching me from the window, I imagine they'd have been disconcerted by the presence of a stranger peering in, so I moved swiftly on.

A few blocks on, Pembridge Hall School, which from memory was a gargantuan building with black and white tiled steps that led up to its huge red double doors. As an adult, it was just as I recalled, except much smaller. I didn't know it when I left at 11, but Pembridge Hall was the only school I didn't despise. The uniform was absurd - boaters in summer, gnome hats in winter - but the teachers were nice, and Tory, the pet budgie who flew around and nibbled the corner of books, was endlessly entertaining.

Pembridge Hall
Pembridge Hall
As with perving on other peoples' houses, it's not advisable to stare at schools for too long, even closed ones, so on I cycled, drunk on nostalgia, to Hyde Park, via the Albert Memorial; one of my favourite monuments in London.

Completed in 1872 and commissioned by Queen Victoria in tribute to her late husband Prince Albert, the ornate, Gothic Revival pavilion cost the equivalent of £14 million in today's money, and shelters a gilded statue of the prince. In the late Nineties, the Albert Memorial was extensively restored.

My brother and I, dressed in our silly uniforms, posed for the local newspaper with the same gold 'cardinal virtues' figures that today stand shining atop. Around the same time, our godmother, who was working on the project, fell off the scaffolding from a great height and managed - miraculously - not to break a single bone.

On Sunday, its steps were clear of the usual tourists, lending the site a rare stillness. Just as revisiting a holiday destination you loved decades ago can be a letdown should it later be crawling with too many visitors, so too can the places you spent your childhood. I'll probably never again have the pleasure of seeing these neighbourhood relics in such peace.

The Albert Memorial, with the Royal Albert Hall in the background
The Albert Memorial, with the Royal Albert Hall in the background
Hyde Park was another matter; the path running through it teeming with other cyclists, joggers and amblers. I spotted more than a few sunbathers and picnic parties - all spaced far apart, I should add.

When I was a child, we had Sports Day on this land; governed by strict PE teachers barking through loudspeakers. Upon my visit, it was ruled by police officers. I spotted one vanload of them, two on motorbikes, a pair on horseback, and even one on a bicycle. "Keep moving if you're here for exercise!" - over and over again.

Again, I didn't linger, looping back through the trees towards home but I made a promise to myself to return to this fine park and the 40-acre swan-laden Serpentine that sits at its heart, more often once lockdown is over.

Hyde Park wasn't exactly empty
Hyde Park wasn't exactly empty
As I peddled back home, dodging buses, I considered whether I'd dare to cycle around London once the roads are back to normal. One thing is certain, I loved the ride. I've used an e-bike before, having taken one on a spin both through the vineyards of South Australia and another across the moonscape-like wilds of Namibia. On a normal bike, these would have been arduous, exhausting, impractical voyages. In a car, they wouldn't have been nearly as enjoyable. E-bikes present a happy medium.

In the context of London, that extra boost of power (this NewGen model has a 250-watt motor and a top speed of 15.5mph) made an appreciable difference at traffic lights, in getting ahead of other vehicles.

In terms of commuting, I imagine you'd turn up at work considerably less sweaty without having to tackle hills on muscle power alone. And the cargo shelf under the seat, fitted with elastic straps, negates the need for a cumbersome backpack. My bulky-calved, backpack-sporting colleagues who cycle to work every day will scoff, but the lycra life is not for everyone.

Do I still view cyclists as wasps? Yes. I felt annoying, like a wasp, every time I had to turn right in front of waiting cars. This is pathetic of me, and far too British.

There is a lot to be said for more bikes and less cars. If London had copious cycle lanes, I truly believe it would be a better place - cleaner, quieter, less hectic. In short, more like it is right now. Or how it was long ago.

Thanks for posting the article up.

I hate worthwhile articles hiding behind clickbait headlines.

Anyone able to read the rest of the article?

I hate entitled ****ing journalist ****s with double-barreled names.
And yet... I still can’t bring myself to read her crappy article.
Well done @forked for saving people from having to click the link anyway.

We may scoff but leisure style ebikes and this type of article will eventually bring on the cycle revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

matt_outandabout

I’m also objecting to a major paper like the torygraph posting something which many will use to justify thier view of the world.

If you're upset by this, then the Torygraph's output on politics is going to horrify you.

Thing that surprised me most is that someone who grew up in Notting Hill can't find their way from Ladbroke Grove to the City.

We may scoff but leisure style ebikes and this type of article will eventually bring on the cycle revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

That’s not any ‘revolution’ I’ve been waiting for.

‘I hate cyclists rah rah! we want to swat those horrible things, unless I’m one which is rah! rah! as long as the cars are off the road during a pandemic. Me, me me me me London, me. London, me. Me. London. Cyclists are annoying. I want to swat them. Like wasps. But isn’t this jolly nice just now, rah rah! Me!’

Is what I got from that

‘I hate cyclists rah rah! we want to swat those horrible things, unless I’m one which is rah! rah! as long as the cars are off the road during a pandemic. Me, me me me me London, me. London, me. Me. London. Cyclists are annoying. I want to swat them. Like wasps. But isn’t this jolly nice just now, rah rah! Me!’

Is what I got from that

Wow ... you read that far? I think i got to the first 'Me' of 'Me, me me me me'.

I'm not going to let the Telegraph earn advertising revenue from me.

Right at the end - tucked away where any cyclist hating folk would never read to there is this

There is a lot to be said for more bikes and less cars. If London had copious cycle lanes, I truly believe it would be a better place – cleaner, quieter, less hectic. In short, more like it is right now. Or how it was long ago.

Click bait indeed

I dont understand why in this country cyclists are so vilified.

I dont understand why in this country cyclists are so vilified.

because if you have to ride one, you must be poor. The woman even said it herself, she went to a school where they had ridiculous uniform rules (ie expensive) a pet budgie that was called Tory and her dad drove a Bristol. She's a hopeless Toff, ergo to her; riding a bike = poor.

Unless it's her, then if she'd riding a really expensive e-bike in a half deserted city, then it's ok. Obvs.

We may scoff but leisure style ebikes and this type of article will eventually bring on the cycle revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

I joke rather than scoff, but very much this. It's a shame that the key message in the last paragraph will be missed by those who might be won over, and how the permavictim cyclists refuse to read past the crappy clickbait headline.

because if you have to ride one, you must be poor

Not sure I agree really, there are swathes of society that hate something, Muslims, Catholics, Dogs, Snowflakes, Footballers, Pedestrians, Ebikers, Hillwalkers, blah blah blah....

There is no rhyme or reason (other than ignorance) for it, twas ever thus.

Nickc and nobeer
Actually you are both correct, there is a perception (in the uk) that the ONLY reason to ride a bike is because you’re too poor to afford a car, if someone believes that, you could put your bike on the roof of your 911 turbo and drive away right in front of them and their opinion won’t change.

There are also significant parts of society that ‘hate’ other groups.
It is indeed, caused by ignorance.
The worst bit is, people choose what they want to believe, And rarely change.

It is indeed, caused by ignorance.

It's simpler than that I think.

I have a springer spaniel. She barks at strangers.
At first she did it because she was worried and wanted to warn us.
Now I think she just likes barking, and strangers (even people she knows perfectly well) are just a good excuse.

Some people just like hating and just need an excuse. This Telegraph columnist is one such.

get whimsically lost 

Jesus. Didn't the Telegraph used to at least pretend to be a newspaper rather than a Brideshead Revisited fanzine?

the theatre I once performed at

Explains a lot.

given I never liked being on stage

Explains a lot more - but still loves being the centre of attention, I would wager.

candy-coloured Victorian terrace houses

Excuse me, I need to find a bucket.

40-acre swan-laden Serpentine

Oh shit, pass me another bucket.

At least she stopped short of claiming a rough yet stimulating sexual encounter with a man in a frilly shirt emerging from said Serpentine.

"The frame of the previously accursed bicycle providing a handily supportive brace as he roughly yet somehow simultaneously tenderly straightened my derailleur hanger".

Bleurgh!

We may scoff but ... this type of article will eventually bring on the ... revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

I am certainly looking forward to the revolution so bourgeois scum like this journalist are sent to the reeducation camps.

as an aside....should you want to read the Times, or the Telegraph (I know!), but don't want to subscribe etc etc

put the link into Wayback Machine - middle right, save page now

It'll then open all of it, so you can read the page, so this 'article'

https://web.archive.org/web/20200501080518/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/comment/cycling-lockdown-newgen-bikes/

We may scoff but leisure style ebikes and this type of article will eventually bring on the cycle revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

Will they ****!

She'll be back behind the wheel of her Range Rover running cyclists off of suburban streets before you can say 'Cheltenham Ladies College'.

This has a whole lot less to do with a previously sceptical fabbo gal having an epiphany due to feeling a bit of actual air* rushing past her flawless thighs on a bike and a lot more to do with 'me, me, me, I, me, me me'.

Failed privileged luvvie decides to give 'journalism' a crack to top up her inheritance and inflict the results on society. All whilst being totes fabbo.

As they say north of the border:

"Get tae **** lassie".

*At least air that hasn't previously been through a Range Rover's air con.

Snobbery of all kinds has no place in any decent society...

You may criticise the journo' but then type similar inverse-snobbery in your replies!

It's all a bit ridiculous :o)

The irony is over-whelming :o)

Yes, but I'm enjoying myself...

So, jog on....

I guess copy editors are seen as non-essential work at the moment too? She'd never get away with the grammar here.

As I peddled back home

There is a lot to be said for more bikes and less cars

If you really want to read the Telegraph & other papers.....
Pressreader.com with free access from your local library card. No Times though.

They also have the RB digital app which is a bit better for magazines.

You may criticise the journo’

She (Annabel Fenwick Elliot, I'll let you draw your own conclusions) retweets Delingpole articles from Breitbart News about how climate change is fake, and then writes an article about how she "hates" cyclists (of course she would, she's a travel writer for the Telegraph)

I'm content to criticize, thanks

You may criticise the journo’ but then type similar inverse-snobbery in your replies!

Just wait until a couple of pages time when I will revisit my made-up anecdote about the Mr Darcy type sensually straightening a derailleur hanger and talk about it as though it was actually told by the journo herself.

That's what all good* journos would do.

*Well not good ones actually. Just the ones that want to pursue a career in politics after their stint as a hack.

she’s a travel writer for the Telegraph

Aka bribe-taker.

"Free holidays? Not good enough, sorry. I want the best suite with the champagne permanently on ice, or I'll screw you in my review".

‘I hate cyclists rah rah! we want to swat those horrible things, unless I’m one which is rah! rah! as long as the cars are off the road during a pandemic. Me, me me me me London, me. London, me. Me. London. Cyclists are annoying. I want to swat them. Like wasps. But isn’t this jolly nice just now, rah rah! Me!’

Is what I got from that

Pretty much my take on it too.

Journos can be absolute reptiles at times.

It almost reads like parody.

Now I think she just likes barking, and strangers (even people she knows perfectly well) are just a good excuse.

I'm going to remmember the barking dog analogy and use it in the future. Thank you.

We may scoff but leisure style ebikes and this type of article will eventually bring on the cycle revolution some of us have been waiting a long time for.

None cyclists using ebikes may bring on a revolution, but not shit like this. This type of article can start with "I hate lycra" or some other "im not a serious cyclist" kind of comment, but she can FRO with "I hate cyclists", thats just clickbait.

And so the cycle of hate continues on all sides.....

Some of you really don't get this do you.

How long have Road CC being doing near miss of the day? How long have we had sites showing picture after picture of hilarious cycling infrastructure which literally goes nowhere? How long have we jumped up and down in impotent rage when another driver gets off scott free after using their car as a weapon?

Years. Decades in fact, and absolutely nothing has changed. Possibly they have got worse.

THERE IS NO POINT PREACHING TO THE CONVERTED.

To get a proper cycling revolution in this country where there is safe infrastructure for all we need many things to change but idiots like this entitled journo writing infantile articles appealing to those who have previously had zero interest in cycling BUT HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS will bring about a sea change quicker than 100 articles about dangerous driving written in a quiet reasoned manner by Bez which are only read by those who ride bikes already.

As someone mentioned above you could stick an SWorks on a Porche and it would make no difference to the perception of cycling as a niche sporting activity which gets in the way of the great British public enjoying their inalienable right to drive where they want when they want at whatever speed they want. It's only when enough Tory voting/ metropolitan elite non cyclists decide that pootling to Borough Market on an ebike in traffic free safety is the best thing evah darling that money will start to be diverted. It's how this crap country works.

Non cyclists are the key here and there needs to be a variety of methods of attracting them.

Leisure ebikes will be a big driver here.

If Prunella Hyphen-Jones can garner a few then so much the better. After all it cant really get any worse....

^^^

I think someone secretly fancies her....

BTW I am now just being a **** for the sake of it.

I'll stop now.🙂

THERE IS NO POINT PREACHING TO THE CONVERTED.

theres also no point telling the unenlightened that the converted are a bunch of ****s. I broadly agree with the rest of what you say, journos need to engage none cyclists in a none cyclist-y way, but this isnt it.

It pains me to see just how far a once respected broadsheet has fallen.

It's become a clickbait mouthpiece for the very worst sort of people, by the very worst sort of people. As an act of vandalism, it's up there.

It pains me to see just how far a once respected broadsheet has fallen.

It’s become a clickbait mouthpiece for the very worst sort of people, by the very worst sort of people. As an act of vandalism, it’s up there.

A million times this.