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I've never owned a road bike.
More than ten years ago I promised to myself I would buy one as the salt flats of Suffolk doesn't lends itself to owning as many off road bikes as I do!
Since 1998 I have always built up my own bikes favouring this route over off the peg mainly down to being able to shop around and build up over time.
With the plethora of "standards" in road bike circles I'm considering off the peg.
Ideally I am looking for discs, space for 28c tyres or above, I'm material agnostic.
The "gravel" title is appealing as that seems to tick a number of boxes whilst also being "on trend" and plentiful in choice and with a change in tyre should be perfectly adequate on the road (baring the 1 x setups).
Would you typically buy the same size road bike as cross bike? I don't want to replicate a MTB set up size wise.
Genesis would be a usual first port of call but they seem to have had a price rise since I bought one of their products (frame).
So any suggestions?
For sizing you could go to a shop and/or a bike fitter. Some charge ~£50 to basically sit you on a bike and tell you what size you need like a decent bike shop would if you were buying a new bike, up to £250-£300 for a full setup.
OTOH unless you're an outlier then the height guides on manufacturer websites aren't going to be too far off.
A lot of road/racing bikes these days will come with clearance for 28mm tyres, 'gravel' will be anything up to 40mm then you've got the sort of gravely/monstercross bikes that take full 29er/650b XC tyres . A few guys on club runs have been using big tyres (28-32mm) and they're definitely not appreciably slower at average club run speeds.
I'd narrow it down by the basics (like you already are with disc tabs, tyre clearance) with rack/mudguard mounts, frame material etc, weight/strength etc then just spec it with the stuff that most suits you (saddle, bar width, stem length, pedals type, tyre width/type etc) and you should end up with something you love.
Since 1998 I have always built up my own bikes favouring this route over off the peg mainly down
Worth saying that many of the road bike shops build to order and will offer a base off-the-peg set up that you can heavily customise.
This applies to brick and online shops.
For a good example, pick a bike on https://www.rosebikes.co.uk and hit the "Configure Now" button and be bewildered by the choices 🙂
Thanks guys.
hit the “Configure Now” button and be bewildered by the choices

If you like Genesis, then you should consider Fairlight bikes - a company set up by ex-Genesis designer.
They do frame & forks to full builds, have a large range of sizes including tall and short versions as well as normal sizing, have an online frame sizer and also will throw in a bike fitting (at Swift in London).
Yeah, I've got one so would obviously recommend... but it does seem to fit your needs.
Without wishing to sound odd, I think I’m down the road from you in Lavenham. I’ve got a selection of road and gravel bikes you’re welcome to take out for a spin if you want to get an idea of what you fancy?
Nothing odd at all - Yes you are just down the road.
Thank you for the offer - I will be in touch 🙂
Some good deals around at the moment on the Genesis Zero Disc framesets which are lovely.
https://www.bike-discount.de/en/cube-frame usually has some good frame and fork deals.
There are some top deals on Genesis Datum around...cheaper than a frameset and a fantastic bike 🙂
Budget?
In the recommend what you have stakes

https://www.canyon.com/en-gb/road/grail/grail-cf-sl-7-0.html
Big rubber, lots of clearance, fast on the road, reassuringly good off it and a nice light weight and also screams look at me if that floats your boat 😉
Blasts around on the canals around me, head out with my mate on his slick road bike and keeps up fine, did the hope pre peaks on it a couple of weekends ago and off to do tour of the borders this weekend. You can probably run some slick rubber on it too for a little more zip.
IMO if you want a road bike - buy a road bike - not a halfway house gravel / CX bike.
Road is all about going fast, and if you buy a compromise bike you will just spend the whole time wondering how much faster, and how much better it would be on a proper road bike... Especially if you end up enjoying it, and start going out on club rides etc.
Been there, got the (lycra) t-shirt.
IMO if you want a road bike – buy a road bike – not a halfway house gravel / CX bike.
Doesn't necessarily follow.
My CX bike - a Rose Pro DX Cross 4400 Compact - was only 8.75kg off the shelf (not flyweight but about half a kilo lighter than my mate's "proper" Specialized road bike) and if I stick skinny tyres on then it can keep up with him just fine (even if I can't!)
I wanted CX because I preferred the slightly more relaxed cockpit position, I wanted mounts for panniers and mudguards, and I use it on the gravelly and cracked tarmac cycle paths around here so I didn't want it to be too fragile.