Does you other half...
 

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[Closed] Does you other half know how much you really spend on bikes and biking?

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As above really.

After a conversation with a friend it turns out he has a complete bike that his wife and 2 kids know nothing about. It's in his garage in plain view.

I want a replacement for my aging 26er full suspension and I've contemplated getting one and telling my wife I've only changed the frame. She doesn't really understand how much a new full suspension frame would cost so I could get away with it.

I don't really know how much I spend on bikes but it's probably more than I think but I suspect it's a lot less than others. Because I don't know how much I spend I can't really be accused of hiding it from my wife but I can't say I explicitly tell her everytime I send money on biking stuff.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:52 pm
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She doesn’t really understand how much a new full suspension frame would cost so I could get away with it.

If you are getting away with it do you not have honest conversations about money?


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:55 pm
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Yes.  Crazily, I use the joint account for a lot of it.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:56 pm
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Yes.

We have a joint bank account.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:56 pm
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I don't tell her, but I don't hide it from her and she doesn't ask cos she doesn't really care.

I don't spend loads though, my FS is still on 26" wheels...


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:56 pm
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The Wife knows exactly how much I spend. Because I tell her. Nothing hidden in plain sight here.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:57 pm
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She's not arsed as long as I pay my own share what's left is mine so why would she?


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 10:59 pm
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She definitely knows, what she gets miffed about is that I'm not exactly great at selling the bits I've upgraded


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:01 pm
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She knows roughly what my bikes cost, but not how much I spend on servicing, parts and clothing. But only because she doesn't care, having a relationship where you hide money or spending isn't a healthy one.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:02 pm
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Yes, joint account and why would I hide it?


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:05 pm
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Yes she paid for the last one!


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:07 pm
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She sees the parcels arrive, rolls her eyes but doesn't ask how much I'm spending, which is just as well since I don't really know, or want to know 🙂


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:09 pm
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Joint account for everything and she trusts me not to spend more than we can afford. She has a pretty good idea how much stuff costs (not just bikes, other kit too) as we do a lot of activities together.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:11 pm
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Yes because it's not a lot and a fair chunk is keeping the commuting bikes going


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:16 pm
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She sees the parcels arrive, rolls her eyes but doesn’t ask how much I’m spending, which is just as well since I don’t really know, or want to know

That, really.  She doesn't mind as we live within our means - she thinks I should go on biking trips more often too.  Thinking about it though, the milkman is quite good-looking 🙁


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:23 pm
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Yep, she knows all her bikes are better/more expensive than mine. But then she earns more and can afford fancier toys than me.

Tom


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:28 pm
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No, but my wife doesn't ask nor particularly care. On the flip side I don't ask or know how much she spends on clothes, shoes and handbags.

We have 3 main bank accounts, mine, hers, the household. As long as the household account has sufficient funds, what we do with our own is up to us as individuals.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:32 pm
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No, we run separate accounts but obviously make contributions on the usual spends and I always ensure that there sufficient savings and the like available when needed. I like the subterfuge and the local bike shops here are happy to split receipts 🙂


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:33 pm
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I don't think MrsB actually cares, we pretty much earn the same, and split family and life costs down the middle, and we both pump money away for the kids futures. So what I do with what's left from mine is pretty much down to me. I've never made any attempt to hide anything or not be totally honest, no point. She spends her money on car's n short breaks etc. Other than to show interest I couldn't really give a monkeys what she spends, she earns it so should enjoy it.


 
Posted : 14/08/2018 11:33 pm
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Yes, she knows and doesn't care as long as I've paid my half share of the household stuff that month (just as I don't care about her obsession with handbags and shoes). More than that, she will often encourage me to buy stuff I'm umming and arring about - I apparently get a bit grouchy if I can't get out and ride...


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 12:03 am
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My OH and I are both cyclists and we both spend what we want. We have separate finances so once the bills are covered it's up to each of us what we do with the rest.  Recently I was working out how much insurance cover we needed and had to ask him how much his new bike cost. He'd built it up himself and hadn't actually added it up until that point...


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:09 am
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We only have a joint account here. Her bling MTB was the last big bike expenditure too.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:09 am
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Yes she knows. Even when I bought my then 9 year old a £700 hardtatil. I use my bikes 300+ days a year, so nothing at all to hide here. If I was using it a dozen times a year, it would be questioned, but MTB stuff is my life blood, it's what I need and crave for my sanity.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:18 am
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of course.  Whilst we have the three bank accounts way of managing money there is no way on earth either of us would hide any expenditure.  Its a relationship of mutual trust and respect


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:20 am
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Interestingly I have gone the secret route before and it ended up with a substantial argument and long term doghouse situation.  Ultimately causing more long term heartache as she now watches our account like a hawk.  I would always be honest now, clear conscious makes the new bike purchase so much more enjoyable!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:20 am
 rone
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Yes , she spends the same on bikes.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:53 am
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she thinks I should go on biking trips more often too.  Thinking about it though, the milkman is quite good-looking

are you contemplating asking the milkman along?


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:01 am
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Absolutely not. She knows I have a stack of bikes behind the shed and thinks my hobby is fixing them so I can ride them to work. She knows I used to go mountain biking, but thinks it's really dangerous, so I don't tell her I still go riding. I just go riding when she think's I'm at work (my employer is extremely slack about being in the office as long as stuff gets done) or I pop out for a quick ride when she goes shopping. Biggest problem is furtively washing my riding gear so she doesn't twig that I've been riding.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:08 am
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Currently in France so she can do a half ironman on her new Tri bike. Recently she's spent more than me.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:16 am
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Everything I buy effectively costs double as if I get a shiny new part/item of clothing/bike she will say something along the lines of “ooh, I like that. Will it fit me/my bike?” I then end up buying whatever it is or near enough for her too.

There is the odd thing I may not be too forthcoming about price on though, eg I was quite open about the cost of the new forks & di2 groupset I got recently but I avoided mentioning the £500 cranks that I got at the same time!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:19 am
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Not sure really. We have separate bank accounts, so as long as there is money to pay the bills then there’s no issue. I think she knows how much my best bike cost as we spoke about it, but she’ll have no idea how much new tyres and a turbo trainer cost.

This isn’t in a deceitful way, I have no idea how much she spends on the stuff she spends her money on. If there’s money in the bills account and we’re both saving a little then anything else goes.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:31 am
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I barely know what I spend....

plausible deniability innit


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:33 am
 kilo
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My wife has bought loads of my last bikes for me (including 3 road bikes, track bike, 2x cx and my Ibis  mtb) thank you Mrs Kilo:)


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:01 am
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Interesting split between ''yes, they know everything I spend' and ''they don't mind so long as the bills get paid'.

I used to fall firmly into the latter category but since having kids and my wife changing jobs to a less well paid one (for happiness, hers and the rest of the family's) we've had to be a bit more careful. First time for about 12 years we have to watch our money closely. We have savings but we need those for the kid's futures for university or helping to buy a house.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:05 am
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Pretty much, bikes and big bits of kit yes. Odds & sods like little spares, nutrition etc are just normal expenditure.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:12 am
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No idea, not because I hide it, but because I genuinely don't know how much I spend myself. She wouldn't know anyway, as half the stuff turning up is given to me by the shop I ride for, rather than me buying stuff.

But then I have 2 bikes & she has 6. So maybe I should be asking her! Not that either of us care, as long as we can afford it. We are open about money & will never dictate how the other can spend their own.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:30 am
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She buys more than me at the moment


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:32 am
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I don't know how much I spend so not sure how my wife would.  I have a one in/one out for bike stuff and only have one bike so would need to complete accounting to work out the losses and so on and seeing as I buy and sell a lot of stuff each year that may be quite time consuming...


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:32 am
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Not sure I even know how much I really spend on bikes and biking 😉


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:41 am
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Yep.. we have a completely honest relationship and besides, I've probably spent less than £200 in the last five years and less than £2k in the last 20 years.

I have a cycling fetish rather than a bicycle fetish though, which helps keep the costs down.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 8:44 am
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Not explicitly in numbers, but I've never hidden any bikes / components, so even if she doesn't know what a particular thing cost, she knows that it exists. Frequently her bike has had more spend on it anyway, including purchasing - her last two bikes were bought new, my last bike purchase was a very cheap eBay second hander, and the one before that was a cast off of hers: She got a brand new bike, I got her old one that she wasn't getting on with.

I'm currently running slightly higher spec (10 speed against her 9) but all the other major stuff, forks, brakes etc. are equivalent - at various times she's run better forks, brakes etc than me though - not be design, just by coincidence of timing when things needed renewing.

If anything she'd probably guess that it cost more than it does - our LBS is very good to us to the extent that I often feel like I'm robbing them.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 9:25 am
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Yes, or at least she knows what they cost new even if upgrades slip under the radar.

Just bought another one despite being broke which was a bit of a sore point, however it's a £150 rigid 29er single speed intended for commuting and shopping trips so will pay for itself fairly quickly in saved petrol alone <span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">it's already halfway there, </span>at 45p/mile it would be in profit!

As far as possible I do try and minimise upgrades and tinkering these days, snapped a crank bolt the other day and rather than just ordering a new deore chainset off CRC which is what old me would have done* I spent a morning cobbling together a working set of old cranks, BB shells and bearings!

I do really want a new (s/h) FS trail bike, but I know that even if I picked up a £600 Bossnut off ebay that it's not the bike that costs, it's a tanks of petrol going somewhere nice that quickly adds up!

*who am I kidding, XT as a minimum if there wasn't something carbon on the classifides!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:07 am
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My GF has no idea, but also doesn't care. Likewise I don't spend huge amounts anyway.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:07 am
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Bikes yes. Coke and hookers less so.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:12 am
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I'm definitely in the 'as long as the bills are paid she doesn't care' camp - but when she collects my bike from the LBS he always jokingly staples the invoice together so she can't peep at it!

He knows she's not worried but another friends wife always gave him grief about how much she thought her husband spent there, then she went to 'settle his account' for him and found out it was considerably less than she'd convinced herself it was! She then gave him grief cause she now doesn't know where he spends his money!!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:15 am
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Nope, and best it stays that way. Click and collect is a game changer!!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:34 am
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I wouldn't see the point in being dishonest.

However as I'm going through a divorce, it's none of her business currently, and the girl I'm seeing is, I'm fairly sure, just using me for my bike knowledge to enable her to select a nicer bike appropriately.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:42 am
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as i just bought a new bike... was suprised she didnt ask how much it was.. but also... 1 ) we're in the have a household account group.. its a joint account, but we only use it for the mortgage, food, utlility bills + sky etc and childcare/nursery costs. we both put in a fixed amount each month, and top it up if  / when it gets low or to pool resources for a purchase. everything left from my wages etc is mine to do with as i please... 2) she knows i got a good bonus this month


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 4:50 pm
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Yep, she lets me spend what I want. I earn substantially more than her, but whatever comes into the house is 'our' money - has been since we first met 26 years ago. Bizarrely, she asks me if I mind her spending £25 on a new top - of course I bloody don't. For bikes, also read camera gear.

As an aside, I know some blokes who get interrogated by their wives for money they spend when lodging away from home for work, or even worse, money they spend on tools/clothing for work


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 6:14 pm
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Any major purchase like a frame or something yeah I'd tell her.  Bits and bobs nah coz she wouldn't care.  I think she'd probably be a bit horrified at the cost of tyres.  In fairness though she has 2 horses...


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 7:41 pm
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Yes, but its inconsequential when compared to horse ownership so I have nothing to worry about.  Except, of course, how much is actually spent on horses, vets, transport and events...

Edit: I feel your pain Restlessshawn...at least one of the two is currently in working order which is a rarity 🙂


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:04 pm
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  I think she’d probably be a bit horrified at the cost of tyres.

So am I!


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 10:51 pm
 P20
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Yes. Tasha knows exactly what is spent on bikes and everything else. She also bikes and is on here @ahsat. Never seen the point in lying


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 11:06 pm
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Missus spends more than me on MTB stuff.  To be fair, we always buy each other bike stuff.  I got a Garmin for my birthday, she got some winter boots from me because it was a Wednesday 🙂


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 11:20 pm
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Very fortunate position in that my wife helps me budget for my bikes. She knows I have my full sus (average spend) race (road bike, expensive) and winter road bike, average.

I buy at least one bike a year, sometimes two if the deal is good enough. It’s one in one out. But Mrs W always knows how much I need, she puts a certain portion of my money aside for my big buys. Lucky that we both work and have no child minding fees to pay for.

Mrs W pays expensive gym membership with personal training, also spends fortunes on clothing that I don’t, so kind of equals out.

Didnt used to tell her the real price. She found out I had £2k wheels and went nuts at me for it. I decided  it wasn’t worth being secretive so best to have the discussion upfront. She’s ok with it as long as we agree how I can save for what I want. Everything has to be cash, can be a real pain if I see something I really want, just means I have to save more. I also tend to buy year old bikes, new but previous years end of stock sale bikes.


 
Posted : 15/08/2018 11:28 pm
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Broadly yes. I am not in the business of lying about these things, but I'm also on a fairly major spending freeze at present.


 
Posted : 16/08/2018 4:45 am
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Yes, and that’s one of the reasons she’s no longer my wife anymore apparently....


 
Posted : 16/08/2018 8:34 am

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