[Closed] Cycling trends that need to die. Episode 47

Calling your bike a "rig".

Couldn't agree more.

I bought a turbo and despised the bloody thing.

Putting a turbo trainer in your garage and then calling it a "pain cave".

Oh this please, "Oh look at me, all tough and that in my 'Pain Cave' because I don't like being cold and wet"

it's more like Wimps Corner

You hate turbos, or you hate the use of "pain cave"?

I'd argue that turbos have a place, both for specific training and if you're short on time, but "pain cave" does grate rather.

whitestone - Member

Calling your bike a "rig".

Or a steed, whip, weapon, etc.

The word bike does the job fine!

Edit. Agree turbos good, "pain cave" bad.

What if [s]I, wait, no[/s] a mate already have a pain cave (in the traditional, special interest, sense) and set up a turbo in there?

How do we feel about 'Grimace grotto?'

Calling your bike a "rig".

One of my Mates gets all snippy about that, his Dad used to drive Lorries and he'd be say "er, it's a bike, not a HGV".

He looked a bit deflated when I mentioned it was more Nautical than that.

Mines a Mincing Mansion.

Cycling trends that need to die

I have an entire warehouse for my turbo trainer, a cavern rather than a mere cave.

hahahahah, I actually thought twice about calling it that on the other thread as I don't like it either, but in the end decided to use it as everyone would know instantly what the thread was about.

Go out for a ride instead.

Bloody good idea. Can I count on you to babysit until the other half comes home from work?

Singlespeeding

Can we add

Hipster Beards

along with

Rigids

Please

pretty sure i saw a band called Pain Cavern once. Quite sweary.

I am overdue a visit to the Pootle Palace

How do I know if my beard is hipster or not?
🙂

Derailleurs.

I hear your 'pain cave' and I raise you a 'cottage of wattage'.

*Slap!*

being condescending about what other people call things, like garages or bikes. WGAF? no-one.

gears !

“Variable gears are only for people over forty-five. Isn’t it better to triumph by the strength of your muscles rather than by the artifice of a derailleur? We are getting soft. Give me a fixed gear.”
–Henri Desgrange, 1903. Cyclist, first organizer of Tour de France.

bloody cyclists of today and weak little spinny hamster legs 😀

Jazz palace?

I have a pain cave in my basement full of specialist equipment but that's another story.

Steel is real
Skinwall tyres
fist bumps
Epicyclo's constant SS cock measuring contest

Berating others for their choice of vehicle / bike / anything in particular

Gnar, rad, shredding et al

This BOOST nonsense

In France do they have Maisons du Misere?

Orangery of mild discomfort?

Undercroft of unpleasantness?

Agony annexe?

Pantry of pissantery

"I'm going to the pain cave to get a visit from the man with the hammer"

Oh do FRO won't you?

Epicyclo's constant SS cock measuring contest

I really dont think the mad old Highlands dwelling beardie gives two hoots, what others think or do. He'll be off pottering about on some 1930's three speed thing with funny bars up a mountain looking like a deranged Santa Clause.

conservatory of pervert-tory?

Undercroft of unpleasantness?

maybe some chamois creme would help

Rusty Spanner - Member
How do I know if my beard is hipster or not?

If it's pretty, groomed and you have slicked hear with shaven sides.... it's Hipster.

Orangery of mild discomfort?

I could cope with an Orangery of Boulangerie

He looked a bit deflated when I mentioned it was more Nautical than that.

What you just park your bike in one spot and drill for oil/gas?

I object to the following:

-Use of the term [i]"Swap out"[/i]...

-People refering to their bike as [i]"Custom"[/i] when all they've really done is change the wheels and rear mech on an otherwise stock bicycle.

-Front Mech Remoaners (more an interweb thing).

-CX bikes fitted with slicks and panniers, that never get taken off road...

-Baggies on road bikes...

-Taking Gels/energy bars and forcing the group to stop for a munch on a sub 3 hour ride...

-Geometry experts...

saying things are off Piste.

Lean-to of lament?

Undercroft of unpleasantness?

maybe some chamois creme would help

Or some bongo bukake

When people say that they are "running" this fork or "running" those bars.

Why is everyone running? It's bloody cycling!

Gnarmac shack
Vroom room
shred shed
asphalt vault

I assume anyone working out in a garage hasn't heeded the warning of American Beauty 🙂

Zwift- get some friends and ride in the real world and if its all cold and dark and wet outside HTFU 😀

I assume anyone working out in a garage hasn't heeded the warning of American Beauty

I thought the moral of that story was not to knock one out in the shower?

Tazzy....

I may get you a t0shirt 🙂

[img] [/img]

weeksy - Member
Rusty Spanner - Member
How do I know if my beard is hipster or not?
If it's pretty, groomed and you have slicked hear with shaven sides.... it's Hipster.

Phew.
Thank God for that.
The thought of being mistaken for a hipster nearly put me off my flat white.

[img] https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-tRQ79kF1vzvjBN0h7pyUgSB41VLXMtp46Ma-E7GusL6UL33p [/img]

The thought of being mistaken for a hipster nearly put me off my flat white.

You never used Eco friendly, vegan or Macchicato or however the hell people spell it.

tazzymtb - Member

I really dont think the mad old Highlands dwelling beardie gives two hoots, what others think or do. He'll be off pottering about on some 1930's three speed thing with funny bars up a mountain looking like a deranged Santa Clause.

Funniest post on here for a while. I suspect epicyclo might actually be quite proud of that description

Cheers Weeksy, that's amazeballs. Not sure I could squeeze it over my cake belly and man-boobage though.

cockpit...

...in reference to handlebars.

No, it's your handlebars.

It's not remotely like a cockpit unless you are sporting a tinplate analogue speedometer from the 1970's, a bell, a plastic wah wah police siren (also from the 70's) and an artificial horizon.

"Pain cave" is spectacularly naff, agreed.

I propose "shred shed" in its place.

My weapon of choice for gnarr is a called my bike.

'Spare room of Zwifting zoom' if you don't mind

Two things need banning:

People who call their bikes "she" and people who say "I run (X) on my bike".

Grrrrr.

"Cycling trends that need to die. Episode 47"

Enduro Bobble hats
People knocking Zwift and/or turbo training.
Saying "reach out" rather than "contacted/spoke to"

My pets hates are the confusion of rake and offset in cycling - and the way they quote the angles the opposite way to motorbikes.

All the pretentious stuff - rig / cockpit etc just makes me laugh

cockpit...

...in reference to handlebars.

No, it's your handlebars.

Well... I'd say cockpit is more used to describe,handlebars,grips,stem and any other handlebar furniture.

The only time the term cockpit should be allowed on bikes is if you wear flight goggles, a scarf, and frequently shout "If you can fly a Sopwith Camel, you can fly anything."

Also referring to the hundreds of miles of ancient man made bridleways and byways as 'natural' trails.

Fixie's and people who call fixed gear bikes fixie's. Realise the trend is all but dead but it needs to completely disappear so I can just get on with riding my fixed gear bike in peace

Undercarriage of Farage,not really turbo related,but distinctly unpleasant,and probably smells similar.

YoKaiser - Member

Well... I'd say cockpit is more used to describe,handlebars,grips,stem and any other handlebar furniture
..

It's still a bike, not the Eurofighter....

I don't mind turbos, got one myself.
I also like video games.

But bowling on the Wii isn't bowling.
Equally, using a turbo or Zwift isn't cycling.
🙂

[i]being condescending about what other people call things, like garages or bikes. WGAF? no-one[/i]

Ah, and yet to care about what people start threads about is absolutely fine and normal.

Yurt de la Pervert?

Cottage of [s]wattage[/s] frottage?

Shed of dread?

Outbuilding of torment

Shithouse of desolation

Flagellation station

ferrit - Member
'cottage of wattage'

A hearty LOL at this, thank you kind sir 🙂

Bicycle Torture Chamber 😈

https://thesufferfest.com/pages/bike-torture-chamber

fooman - Member
The only time the term cockpit should be allowed on bikes is if you wear flight goggles, a scarf, and frequently shout "If you can fly a Sopwith Camel, you can fly anything."

*Waves!*

Fixie's and people who call fixed gear bikes fixie's. Realise the trend is all but dead but it needs to completely disappear so I can just get on with riding my fixed gear bike in peace

It's just a contraction. As is "bike", which you appear to be arbitrarily perfectly happy with. (Along with omitting pronouns and full stops, and inserting wayward apostrophes, but I digress.)

I hate these threads, because one of the things that riles me is people getting all pompous and fussy about other people using words in a perfectly legitimate fashion. God help us if you lot ran the world and we had to use the most tediously literal devices possible for everything: we'd end up with a literary culture whose apogee was the script for a self-service checkout.

you sound like fun

Groups of kids wheelieing in the middle of the roads.

Whereas moaning about the word "fixie" is the very definition of hedonism, obviously.

Pergola of perspiration?

Groups of kids wheelieing in the middle of the roads.

Whereas pretty much everyone else pumping out clouds of carcinogenic guff by burning dinosaur juice obtained through massive political and military effort in the middle of the road is just dandy? 😉

fist bumps

Come on, gotta allow fist bumps - only in their proper place post-gnar, pre-gnar fist bumps are ridiculous.

I do my turboing outside in the garden, specifically on the decking. how should I refer to my turboing area?