[Closed] Cunning plan to get bike on commuter train?

Just take it on, see if you get kicked off...

Feels fairly high risk...

Just kick off, then take them all on...

"bicycle

noun

a vehicle consisting of two wheels held in a frame one behind the other, propelled by pedals and steered with handlebars attached to the front wheel."

Take the front wheel out and hey presto, by the dictionary definition, it's not a bicycle. "This, in my other hand? Oh, it's a spare wheel I'm holding for a friend, Mr Conductor..." 🙂

If your trains from Tonbridge to London are anything like mine from North Surrey to London you physically won't be able to fit it on due to the number of other commuters. They also tend to be an arsey bunch (myself included, we are slogging into London after all!)

on an overbooked train last month, I took off the wheels, put them in bin bags, frame in others, got on at the end carriage, dumped the bags and sat in the carriage down. It was a faff

Just take it on and when asked either deny it is yours or point blank refuse to acknowledge that it exists.

I'll second Jamie's suggestion. Wheels off, bin bags taped over both ends of the frame, wheels in another. It's just bulky luggage at that point.

Could you pack it into a foldable bike bag to go on the train with so its ‘luggage’, then leave the bike bag in a luggage locker at the station in the peaks whilst you ride - then reverse the process on the way home?

Kent (Tonbridge) to London.

Ride your bicycle

As above, take the wheels off, bin bags, wrap the frame in bin bags as well if you can, then just claim it's luggage, I've done this before and got away with it. It's a faff but not as much as missing your connection.

I once took my bike on a train stuffed into a thin sleeping bag liner (the bike, not the train), obviously with both wheels off, no problem. We had two bike reservations, but three bikes, hence the extra 'parcel'. Other cyclists were (unfortunately) thrown off the train, they didn't have a reservation, and only two bikes per train, but that was in Scotland. Time off you Tonbridge train?

It’s the 8.46 and to be fair it’s still a fairly busy one. I used to catch it sometimes when I was running late back in the London days.

Think I might just have to change tickets 🙁 but going to give it a go and see what happens...expecting to be left on the platform.

I would cycle to London but got to drop the little one off at nursery first and so I’d still miss the 10am train from kings cross.

Just piss poor planning really!

You'll be fine.
Do you have a barrier at your end? I get the thameslink/SE lines into London every day, and I've never had a guard on the train in the morning. I've seen plenty of people take bikes on too.

If there is no barrier just get on. When you get off in London they'll just let you out, no issue; they're not going to keep you crowding the platform.

By 8.46 it'll be quiet enough for you to fit a bike on easy. Go to the part of the train that'll be furthest away from the barriers at the exit, so the train is quietest.

You sure you're not allowed a bike on that train? Gets into London after 9:30?

apparently not. still, it's well outside busiest period, so you'd probably be fine.

One option, if you want to play it safe, is to go up the night before and leave it with a friend. Or locked up, if it's Just A Bike.

As others have said, wheels off and put everything in bin bags. I've done it many times to get around the absurd rules railways companies have. Even whilst stood in cycle gear I've never been questioned.

Don't follow the "take it on as is and deny it's yours" advice though. That isa good way to get the train evacuated at the next stop and Bomb Disposal on their way (bicycles make quite effective pipe bombs).