[Closed] Creak Relief

You know when you're riding your bike and you start to notice an almost imperceptible ticking sound but you ignore it because it's just a small noise and bikes make noises.

Then you go for a ride a few days later and the sound is still there but it's more persistent and at least every pedal stroke so you vow to investigate it but don't get round to it and it's bearable as long as you can't hear it over the wind.

But then you go for a ride and oh good god it's twice every pedal stroke and holy hell your bike must be tearing itself to bits inside so you get it on the workstand and start checking all the usual suspects and remove and clean and re-torque the pedals and the bottom bracket and chainring and take it for a ride but it still creaks so it's not that so you check the headset and the saddle and the axle and your knees and the hub and then undo and clean and re-loctite all the shock mounts and suspension pivots and then come to literally the last pivot bolt and you undo it and it clicks and then you do it back up and almost reluctantly take bike for a test ride round the block and the sound has gone?

That.