[Closed] Bizarre behaviour whilst on a ride...

I think the odd noises while riding one gets me fairly often - rarely motorcycle noises but we do do the Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! on a nice descent

You at least tried to knock out a cow! respect! How hard did you hit it? I mean, I'd need a big brick to help me to floor a cow!

I think if you kill a cow with a single punch you then have to eat the entire thing. Just a rule.

I can get off my bike at the end of a really good ride and just sort of stand there hopping for one leg to the other for quite some time, happy as can be, for a good few minutes before my brain kicks in and tells me to put the bike away and go inside.

I didn't punch it.. Sod that!
Just stood there with a clenched fist, we eye balled each other for a bit, then it ate grass and i picked up my bike and rode off

Just thought it was a stupid reaction to an inquisitive cow.

Realman, the image of you doing that made me lol.

Anyway, punching and horse not cow vid...

cool. Grrrrrrr moment! they are big ****ers, there's no way a human can knock out a cow

there's no way a human can knock out a cow

If ever there was a challenge on this forum, that's one. If someone does it and films it will you give them your bike?

I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

If you see a duck you shout "duck" then try to swipe your riding buddie round the head if they don't Mrs TJ usualy wins that one 🙁

djglover - Member
I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

Well there's a confession.

Find some mags and discarded undies did you?

I knocked one out round the back of peaslake bus stop once, no one ever knew

😆

djg, realman.. that doesn't count! no evidence.
Realman.. your assignment if you choose to take it.....

1. go knock out a cow with your fists
2. bring back documentary evidence to this post
3. High qulity jpegs mind

I punched a cow once, on the arse, because it was standing on my foot. My hand and foot were both utterly f'd. The cow didn't notice.

I climbed on the bonnet of a reversing car , jumped off, opened the drivers door and made like a schoolboy in a playground fight. That was quite bizzare behaviour during a ride (although the ride ended right there).

Imagine the public uproar "Mountain biker filmed punching cow"

The woman who pushed the cat into the bin would soon be forgotten about if this happened 😆

I once turned into a field

An executive field ?

I got headbutted by a sheep jumping over a dry stone wall once.

nah, it was a lower field. slightly left field and well outside of my particular field of interest.

Recalling the time i had a stand off with a cow at the top of cavedale.

I have recently been using an old phone while I waited for my iPhone to be sorted on warranty. I was looking through some of the pictures on there and came across these ones from a couple of years ago when I was stalked and then stared at by some cows.

[img] [/img]

Menacing.

thank goodness you numbered them, I'd have had no idea what order to look at them in otherwise.

I did come very close to riding into the back of a cow once. Came round the corner of a bit of overgrown singletrack on a night ride and there was a black cow stood facing away from me. Fortunately it turned its head and I caught sight of an eyeball reflection in time. Would have been very messy otherwise.

thank goodness you numbered them, I'd have had no idea what order to look at them in otherwise.

It's been a slow morning.

wwaswas, that sounds like an episode of "it shouldn't happen to a [s]vet[/s] mountain biker"

Mate ran into a hairy highland cow on a night ride last week!

Two years ago out running a cow headbutted me and broke a rib, usually they get out of the way. This one was by a farm gate I ignored it as usual, I turned to close the gate then turned back and was launched into the air by a head flick! She was protecting her calf which was dead 🙁 so understandable.

The one on the left of Jamie's 2nd pic looks like it's done a few rounds with realman already - look at that eye

No idea on the right behaviour but I've had stand offs with cows in fields/on trails and I've backed off and taken a wide circle thus removing any threat or perceived threat to the cow.

I wouldn't punch one or aim to either. **** that.

Plus on that widefield/run upto Cavedale it leaves walkers vulnerable to reprisals

I think you'll find the correct advice is:

Run at it, shouting

i find greeting oncoming cows with a loud but casual "mooo" works, the moment you slow down on your bike they know they've won and you gunna get raped boy.

if that doesnt work i'm fully prepared to slow down and let the OH take one for the team as i ride off to "get help"

Got headbutted by a partridge a couple of weeks when I disturbed a huge covey. End of ride in the dark through an area which has had about 16,000 of them put down for shooting. All bedded down but got spooked by the lights and took off en masse. Was like something out of The Birds

if that doesnt work i'm fully prepared to slow down and let the OH take one for the team as i ride off to "get help"

I'm still laughing at ourkidsams noble laying down of his life to a rabid Colly' that chased us. Oh I could hardly see straight with the tears of laughter as we legged it 😆

Got headbutted by a partridge

Did he ask you to smell his cheese as well?

[img] [/img]

We were surrounded by a herd of cows on the isle of arran whilst biking. Luckily the missus is a farmers daughter and told the cows the bugger off in a west country accent which seemed to do the trick.

[i]told the cows the bugger off in a west country accent[/i]

were the cows on their holidays from Devon, then?

I do tend to talk 'out loud' to livestock when I'm out on rides - it lets them know I'm there and, to be frank (particularly with large groups of cows) stops me being so nervous.

I had quite a long conversation with some sheep at a gate once - it really helped get a few things straight in my mind.

Jamie, maybe he said 'choose your weapons' then 'let battle commence'

I have always wanted to try cow tipping

I do know the best way to ward of cattle and other large mammals, shouting and running at them is tried and tested method as is the Mick dundee 'Hommmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................................!' hypnotising trick, which doesn't work.

TJ, I've had varied responses from tipping cattle, most involve a pissed off lump of beef chasing giggling boys across fields in the dark.

waswaswas. I find a can't have a sensible conversation with sheep as it's like posting on here. all that baaaaa baaaaabaaaaa, baaaa's

I was working on my trail which involved cutting a way through a rhododendron infested woodland which if anyone has done this will know how frustrating it is. It was like a personal battle between me and the dreaded 'rhody' so I was swearing at it saying things like 'right I'm going to f****** have you' etc. Then I turned around to see one of my neighbors standing there. It was quite embarrassing. Too much time in the woods alone is not a good thing.

no word of a lie, this is a true story.

when i was in Vietnam we often hired scooters, as you do. this one day there must have been about 12 of us buzzing around in convoy up to some waterfalls, then to the beach etc. on returning to the town where we were staying and there was a cow slowly walking across the road, all of the group managed to avoid the cow apart from the lass at the back who ploughed right into it. she ended up with a broken wrist but she killed the cow!

Plus on that widefield/run upto Cavedale it leaves walkers vulnerable to reprisals

Cow vengeance 😆

[i]I find a can't have a sensible conversation with sheep as it's like posting on here. all that baaaaa baaaaabaaaaa, baaaa[/i]

sometimes you don't really need a sensible answer, just an audience to articulate your thoughts and feelings to 🙂

Ive walked back to Durness along the tracks above balnakeil beach for about 30 mins with cows all around me. it was dark and i was keeping on my toes incase they sandwiched me to death.other cows wer running past me to catch up with the ones up front.not a fav half hour or so of my life.

This one picked its nose on Abigales brake lever

[img] http://images.fotopic.net/?iid=yxqsx6&outx=600&quality=70 [/img]

that cow looks so cross,tracey.

(cant view it,just a wee red X in a box)

Friend of a friend once rode flat out into a bear, at Whistler. About 1000mph into him, broadside. He smashed his hand up good and proper, but the bear 'bearly' flinched.

from the bbc today;

[i]Charging heifer 'breaks' Shropshire farmer's neck

A farmer in north Shropshire is being treated for a suspected broken neck after being charged at by a heifer.

Richard Cope, 48, was thrown into the air when he was rammed by the animal at about 1130 BST on Tuesday.

The Tilstock Hall farmer was taken to hospital in Staffordshire, West Midlands Ambulance Service said.

Mr Cope is being treated for two suspected broken vertebrae in his neck but should make a full recovery in the long term, his family said. [/i]

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-11450259 ]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-11450259[/url]

Creepy; Cows who stare at men. Wasn't that a recent film about the CIA?

Realman.. your assignment if you choose to take it.....

1. go knock out a cow with your fists
2. bring back documentary evidence to this post
3. High qulity jpegs mind

What's in it for me? (Apart from fame, and the respect of everyone on STW (obviously))

wasn't that men who stare at goats, about a secret barmy army who used jedi like powers in combat.

Still cow related, i had first hand(well butt) experience of the roughness of a cows tongue, when i was in a field with an ex, one hot sunny sweaty day..

Nothing like a inquisitive herd of 20 cow to make a romantic moment.

I was walking over a field in Cornwall with my wife when a cow (well maybe a big calf) suddenly span around and charged at as.

For some reason I thought the sensible thing to do was charge back at it shouting, the cow got to within a few feet of me and did a four hoof skid, spun around and ran off.

When I looked at my wife she was in tears of laughter, asking me Why on earth had I charged back?

Charging heifer 'breaks' Shropshire farmer's neck

They call them 'effers, but we know what they mean.

Chuck Norris puched a cow so hard it's milk turned straight into butter

I hit a cow many years ago in Oz whilst driving back from Ayers Rock. It was pitch black and the thing was laying on the still warm tarmac. I managed to swerve and just clip it but when we got to Alice springs a better investigation of the front of the van revealed a big chunk of hide hanging from the bumper.....dont know what happened to the cow TBH?

What did the cow do when you punched it? Just wave your hands about making loud noises usually does the trick.

Feeding the Highland cows their barley was always exciting as they tended to get very excited and toss their horns about. Getting them out of the hay heck when they were stuck in the bars was also quite a sensitive job.

1. A few years back, a cow fell onto the bonnet of my gf's dad's car. He'd made the (innocent) mistake of parking by a raised bank near a railway platform ... toodled off to do his own thing ... came back minutes later and only to see a cow sloping off having left a big f&*k off dent on his motor. Unable to believe what he was seeing, he climbed up the bank and saw a whole herd of cows tucked away (previously) out of sight.

2. Not sure how true this is but it's from a reliable mate who called me one night to say he and his mates had made a cow fall over by prodding it somewhere on its back/hind quarters. Could well be b0ll0cks, but TBH I've never known him lie about anything.

Menacing.

No that's just bullocks

i like shouting "baaaa" at cows. it confuses them and other passers-by.

got attacked by a young bull this summer. we had to pass the bikes and clamber down a section of trail and this young bull kept getting nearer. had to use my bike to shield myself and the group.

💡 be careful out there, its a fine line between punching a cow - and fisting one 💡

living in a rural area but a townie of birth, over the last 20 years i thought i had it sussed, shout wave arms and so on till this summer when

charged by a group, sory small herd of young bullocks who were freaked by dogs in the field, i was kicked, butted, and pretty bruised, busted and battered by the whole lot, worst bit was i managed to rip open my finger after being kicked into the barbed wire, lots of stitches and now nerve damage. day after local woman was hospitialised by same bunch, apparently the cows were culled. Several cases in lakes of people being killed by cows. i know plenty of farmers who have been tupped by cows some with more airtime than canadian freeriders

i tell ye dont trust the barstewards....................

ps even wose are lamas/alpacas they bloody shift, spit and bite

No that's just bullocks

Ooof!

tupped by cows

You need the next key to the right, tupping is ovine not bovine.

correct 😆

Candy gram for mongo candy gram for mongo.................. mongo loves candy...............................BOOM

love it, know most of the words for the whole film (sad lonley teen, until i got a Muddyfox!!)

realman- I'm not seeing any picture of knocked out cows?

be careful out there, its a fine line between punching a cow - and fisting one

They have special gloves for that.

bah, with young cows and bullocks especially they are INCREDIBLY inquisitive. anything that moves or smells good will attract them, followed by the rest of the heard, usually in a semi-stampide sort of pace.

normally when i'm out in fields I have a pair of collies, if they were on the lead I would let them off at this point to get them away from me as cows are attracted to the farm like dogs. Then basically do as you would with any other large animal, make yourself look big and walk toward them, generally they will turn & flight, occasionally come back at you whilst crossing teh field, just do the same. With bulls, don't state them in the eye, and if you do, make yourself big & bold, walk where you want, never turn your back etc etc.

bikes, bullocks love bikes, its like christmas for them, all those colours, smells & noises, and moves at aspeed thats good to chase. do as you want, mostly I just keep riding where possible. they'll be a whole heard behind me, just make sure you don't get yourself trampelled at the gate, stop, turn on them, then proceed on foot slowly to the gate. otherwise they will be on your ass like 20tonnes of hot braindead beef ......oh!!... wait 😉

Years ago a friend of mine was heading home from his gfs farm along farm road in the dark on his ped and saw two black and white cows loose on the road there was a space between them so he sped up to get through only there was no space there was a black cow. ouch