[Closed] Bit morbid, but anyone had to write a eulogy?

Just talk about the good times, say a few funny stories. Make it a celebration. You'll be fine.

No, but about 18 months ago I wrote a letter to someone who's been quite important to me in my youth who was terminally ill and it was read out at his funeral. Put things in that were important to you and about the effect they had on you and others (hopefully good), and add some amusing anecdotes that reflect their personality and what they were.
Sounds like a hard thing to do, sorry.

I did my dads, oddly I didn't find it hard to do, I just recalled some of the many instances that made him such a great man.
Sorry for your loss, treat the funeral as a celebration of life not the sadness of a death.

Write from the heart and it will come across as sincere.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Not sure if this is any help - but did you see Paul O' Grady's eulogy for Cilla Black? I thought it was perfectly balanced in terms of humour and touching.

I wrote and used one for my father's cremation. If you are the deliverer do what you can to not have to read it. I wrote one word for word I had in my pocket to pass over to the 'MC' if I lost it then just memorised the jist and didn't get too fussed if I got it spot on. I felt honoured to be able to do it and in a weird kind of way enjoyed it - if nothing else because it gave me something to focus on. My theme was a few shared family traites or favourite activities we had shared with him as well as qualities we admired in him that inspired us for the future. I think there were 5, going from light hearted (an inability to do anything without coffee and leaving a trail of mugs behind him and a shared family love of sailing and getting rescued) at the beginning to heavier at the end (a true gent and an ability to see things through). I kept it brief (about 4 mins - you say a lot in 4 mins if you don't waffle) and tried not to fall into a the classic error of making him sound too saintly.

Good luck.

I have this urge to mention something about myself and my brother not having been in prison......So obviously not all bad.
I'm guessing the Priest/Vicar will do the dates of birth, job stuff?

Oh, and sorry for putting this in the bike forum!

'best' one I've seen was jus a really fond memory; about a camping trip

I think everyone else has it spot on. Be true to him and say what he meant to you and others and it will be fine.

Thanks all who've posted. I think I just needed to get a general direction of where to go with it. LIke I said, I didn't want to sound like I was reading a CV out loud.
I think, Convert, your idea of making two copies and just getting the jist of it, is probably the best way to go.

My mum passed away suddenly in April last year - still hard to believe TBH.
I got her sisters who she was very close to and my wife to write their thoughts - good memories about my mum - as did I. We got together to try and dovetail it together - which I fine tuned on my own. At the time me and my brother didn't see eye to eye but I tried to balance it and not make him the bad guy (which at that time he pretty much was). I passed it to the Canon a few days before who read it out on the day as there was no way I could have - I'd have stood there and either froze and just crumbled. It was bizarrely nice listening to it as it was an amalgamation of several peoples' view of my mum that even raised a few giggles and made me think of happier times - it gave people who only knew her in relatively recent times a bit of historical content too.
Very hard thing to do but quite comforting at the same time.

HTH

Sorry for your loss and to everyone else.

I'm meant to be doing the same at the moment. Shit isn't it? Minds a bit blank tbh

Sorry to hear your loss.
It very much depends on the family and circumstances whether any mirth or brevity is welcome, you will know.
I did both my fathers and grandfathers eulogy.
My advice would be to do it from the heart. People want to hear the 8-10things that made that person unique to the different members of the congregation. Did he have habits or particular sayings? Shared quirks where 10-20% of the congregation can say...yep thats him. And then for the next quirk or story another section of the audience will get the link is ideal.
It's a big job, but see it as a celebration and not a commiseration and you will do fine. Good luck.

Just a little update on this;
I had my dads funeral on Thursday and managed to get a nice eulogy written. Once I sat down, it was actually quite easy. Delivering it, on the other hand, was incredibly hard. I practised it and all was fine, but on the day I could barely get through it.
Convert, I followed your advice and gave a copy to my brother and my wife, but they conspired and were determined that I finish it. I'm glad that I did though.
I just wanted to say thanks for all the advice and tips, they were greatly appreciated.

Obviously I don't know you, and wasn't involved in this thread at all, but glad it all went as well as it could for you, and hope you're doing well.

sorry to hear that. My dad died 7 years ago and I sometimes still hurt at it, though he lived a good life.

TBH at the time, I thought of a eulogy but couldn't face it, got one of his former work colleagues / mountaineering club / music friends to write it, it was bloody hard for me to listen to, it was clearly hard for him to write, but stick the write note.

Others are braver, have been to various funerals where my mates have read eulogies for their parents, its never easy and I admire them immensely for it.

So - well done. You'll be glad you did I'm sure, I don't regret giving one for my dad but I say a few now and then, to myself..

Delivering it, on the other hand, was incredibly hard. I practised it and all was fine, but on the day I could barely get through it.

I had exactly the same issue - so you were not alone.

Well done and I'm sure you did your dad proud.

If any of his old friends are about, talk to them they may have some interesting stories or history that the family don't know about