[Closed] Assos for girls too ?

[Pulls chair up and sits back 🙂 ] 😳

Just pulled this from the Amazon description which is probably taken directly from the tub or manufacturer:

Apply directly on the skin (avoid intimate areas) before each ride.

That suggests it might irritate delicate parts.

yes, I thought that, but I seem to recall a female rider on here saying she used it. I'm taking a novice friend out for a ride tomorrow and I don't want her to get chafed...

Avoid delicate areas? Isn't that like having a toothpaste that says "avoid tooth enamel"?

What's her number because the stw massive needs to tell her what your REALLY like. 😀
Good to hear from you again btw.

Kettle on, biscuit anyone?

i know lady cyclists that use it without a problem, just remember it's a cream, not a lube

What's her number because the stw massive needs to tell her what your REALLY like

funny that any of you should think you know what I'm really like :o)

just remember it's a cream, not a lube

😯

Not a lube

S****s...

FYI I hadn't contemplated dragging her into the undergrowth but now you've put the idea into my head 🙂

I know of women who use it but the finer details of it's application I've never bothered asking.

what does it taste like ?

isnt it a bit like having a good shower with minty fresh shower gel? special tingles.

I'm taking a novice friend out for a ride tomorrow and I don't want her to get chafed...

special tingles sounds A-OK, but running around screaming "It burns, it burns!" isn't...

. I'm taking a novice friend out for a ride tomorrow and I don't want her to get chafed...

I always feel its like having someone eat a couple of packets of extra strong mints, then blow gently on your nether-regions.

Maybe you should suggest that instead? Just a thought

PS Please stay the forum is poorer without you

you just want to talk about rude stuff!

simonfbarnes - Member
FYI I hadn't contemplated dragging her into the undergrowth but now you've put the idea into my head

No!,the beast has awaken. God please forgive us!

having relayed this info to the lady she texted:
"That'll get the tongues wagging. Does it work on nipples too?"

I've used it with no issues but imo/e its not worth the money compared to other chamois creams.

simonfbarnes - Member
having relayed this info to the lady she texted:
"That'll get the tongues wagging. Does it work on nipples too?"

its not worth the money compared to other chamois creams

no probs, I have some but I don't use it any longer as the Altura Summit shorts I got are so comfy it's unnecessary. And obviously no one wants to take it off my hands 🙂

Would you though?

If the answer is no, then this thread is pointless.

If the answer is yes, then this thread is pointless without pics.

sfb, I think the instructions say not to rub on the "mucous membrane" which means, none of the sticky bits for girls and keep it away from the sticky bit of your bottom if you're a boy. If she rides normally, then she should know which bits get sore. A female friend used it for the etape caledonia and she reported that it helped somewhat but she was still chaffed afterwards.

A female friend used it for the etape caledonia

Latin names for body parts aren't my strong point, so you'll have to enlighten me 😉

Har de har har. 😀

keep it away from the sticky bit of your bottom if you're a boy

my arsehole isn't frikken sticky - surely that would be a symptom of some malaise (or Olestra) ?

it'll be fun trying to avoid those areas 🙂

It's fine. 'Sticky bits' ?

Sticky bits' ?

I believe ladies given to cardies are no longer troubled by such emmissions...

Don't forget to wash your hands after you've applied it, you don't know where she's been.

my arsehole isn't frikken sticky

You know what I meant 🙂

You know what I meant

I am not privy to such afflictions...

If she rides normally, then she should know which bits get sore.

that's the whole point, she's a novice and hasn't ridden a bike for decades, so I want to make the outing as trouble-free as possible 🙂

I can picture it now....
Simon approaches with camera in one hand and big tin of "lube" in the other....
I don't think we'll see her out on another ride 🙁

I can picture it now....

you may be able to picture your own inept fumbling but you have no concept of mine 🙂

I trust you'll not be double dipping...

I tried it - it was horrible! All burning and hot, I had to wash it off, pronto, and change shorts. Yuk. (and that was not on any sticky bits) I use good padded shorts, vaseline or the light pink germolene which is slightly greasy (for slip-factor) but more importantly, has a local anaesthetic - it's brilliant for v long rides.

I trust you'll not be double dipping...

that's funny - I carry an old Assos tub with jelly babies in and when I offer it round people often make comments about arse lard etc, though I point out it was only ever single dip and I did of course scrub it out carefully before putting in the sweeties 🙂

SFB - pmsl

My tub must have been faulty

If this is the Assos cream then you are on about it's fine for girlies. I use it on longer road rides, you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!! But it's fine .

My tub must have been faulty

of course, I'm sure you're fully functional :o)

you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!!

I've always put it on me on the grounds that I don't care about treating the parts of the chamois which don't touch me 🙂

Or get her to use Sudocreme. Works better that Assos cream for me.

I tried it - it was horrible! All burning and hot

Karin raises a good point - might not be welcomed by a newcomer, compared to something more neutral.

Personally I like the warm tingle, especially once it has settle down into a contented hum.

Still, its nothing compared to a slightly over enthusiastic application of Deep Heat to the upper thigh region ...

My mum uses 'udder cream'. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,

C

ChrisE - Member
My mum uses [b]'udder cream'[/b]. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo

At least you get a lot of cream for the money 😀

SFB I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream 😀

Some girls need the value as they have a large area to cover (......not my mun though in case she's on here!!)

C

I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream

I'll let her read this later and she what she says 🙂

ALL REJOICE FOR THE GREAT BARNES [b]HE HATH RETURNETH![/b] 😀

Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.

I think this board has missed your input Simon.

Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.

I'm not sure I have returned, other than for this specific info - I don't think I have the time for the meleé of middleaged angst...

Simon don't be a spoil sport. Anyway we need your photoage

or 4Kg for the more ample lady;

[img] [/img]

They probably do a 10Kg tub for Morecambe girls....

Savlon, works well and shouldn't matter if you slather it around all over ' shop.

or 4Kg for the more ample lady;

this one is delightfully skinny 🙂

You have to say that if you're showing her the thread later 😉

My mum uses 'udder cream'. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,

I nearly fell off my seat. That's the best post I've ever read 😀

before we drift too far into misogynistic Far-Slaggism can I just point out it's the MTB blokes whose ample fundaments are more likely to accommodate dumper trucks-full of udder cream??

the thought of sfb offering a young lady a half used put of chamois creme and saying in a soft voice

wipe this round yer bits

has put me off my lunch

I bought a tub of the ASSOS (as CRC were out of the Udder one which is brilliant btw) and applied seconds before zooming out with me mates. Within one minute of setting off down the street I experienced that stomach-dropping moment when you realise you've made a massive mistake. That was the worst night ride of my life.

Your friend is more than likely to have one of those lip balm tins of vaseline. It'll work fine.

Hmmm, well, I've just remembered I have some Utterly Butterly left over too, so I'll go for that 🙂

has put me off my lunch

You have to say that if you're showing her the thread later

when you realise you've made a massive mistake

but was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?

when you realise you've made a massive mistake

but was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?

or just a mistake on something massive......

in the end she was able to wear my old Summit shorts with the velcro done up tight so no cream needed 🙂

So Simon, are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa? 😉

are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa?

I certainly made no such allegations 🙂

[img] [/img]