[Closed] Arrrgh! I'm such a dumbass. (Bike fixing fail content)

Angle grinding an old frame in half to build a Frankenbike, I neglected to hold the front end being cut away.
I watched in slow motion as the now liberated front end fell, bounced & dented the top tube of the lads shiny Islabike.
😥

My mate dropped his newly unpacked Intense Carbine whilst carrying it to his shed to build.
It landed on a step, the corner of the step cracking a hole in the down tube.
He phoned the dealer in desperation, to get a price for a replacement.
A week later Intense, as a gesture of goodwill for his honesty, sent him a replacement, free of charge.

Just a few weeks ago I very carefully put the lowers back onto my forks after servicing, and only when attempting to fit them to the bike noticed they were on back-to-front.

Go back to square one: take off foot nuts, drain (new) oil, etc.

The realisation yesterday that I was about to slice into the end of my thumb with the bread knife but then carried on and sliced into it anyway!!

Sorry op but that made me laugh, I bet you were jut as annoyed as when I did the exact same thing. Frustrating isn't it.

Cutting a brand new carbon steerer too short on my Tripster. I still can't quite figure out how I managed to not engage my brain whilst measuring and then cutting without double checking..

I have a total inability to stop leaving things (new frames, tubs of filthy oil, glassware, ...) balanced really precariously "just for a second" while I go to get/do something

How many ****ing times do I have to do it before I learn ?!

My neighbour (fortunately not easily offended) says I always shout the same thing when I do it) 😳

I finished a bike build the other day, popped a set of pedal fingertight on to test it out, looked down carefully as I rode gently forwards - axle staying put.... rode 2 m further forward [and past several old hands in the factory] - the RHS pedal drops out ruining the chainset threads.

FFS

As a kid, I was excited to receive an xmas Sigg bottle like the cool kids had at school! Legged it up the stairs to show my dad annnnd.... tripped on the steps and slammed it in to a step to break my fall.

Looked like a crushed drinks can after. That was that.

Oh goodness me, @scaredypants - you're me :O

THis thread needs that picture from NW

Nah.

I hadn't ridden my Ragley for a while so when I took it out for a testride before selling it, I wanted to check it all over. Took me a surprisingly long time to figure out why I couldn't get the shock pump to thread onto the fork. Something to do with the coil conversion.

Building up my current bike, had bought myself a nice high quality set of gear cables and outers. It's a bit too long of a loop on the RD so I undo the clamping bolt on the RD, pop the outer free to get access to cut. Admiring the perfect cut I notice I didn't pull the inner back through so ruined that one snipping it far too short to be useful.
Ended up having to dash to halfords before it shut to find they only had some cheap POS inners left.
Probably psychosomatic, but the RD never shifted smoothly with that cable in

Re-assembling the roadie, forks held in with the friction from the headset top bearing cover, turned around to get the stem, and looked back to see the forks sliding slowly (it's always slow-motion, isn't it?) floorwards. Forks now have a chunk of paint missing from the end of one dropout

I just found my cable cutters by my greenhouse completely rusted up! They've been there six months through a pretty wet winter! That made me swear yesterday...

Just last night finishing building the OHs commuter. bar tape on everything looking good. Go to set brake blocks on front brake. Nothing happened, much confusion, tried again still nothing. Yep brakes set up European instead of uk. Took 5 minutes to sort but bar tape will never hold now.

Put a wrap of electrical tape on first but sticky side out.

Cutting chain to length and using big-big +2 links approach to measurement. Switched brain off and cut at -2 links. Only realised this a considerable time later as I battled to get the a new derailleur/cassette combo set up 😈

"Took 5 minutes to sort but bar tape will never hold now."

why not ? find someone who can wrap it proper. Sticky backed bartape is for people who cant wrap bars 😀

Agree about bartape.

Is it Northwind who has a photo of his upside down fork?

Last week I was putting new hoses on the brakes. Both the old ones had chaffed being transported.

I measured twice. Cut once. Then realised I'd cut the length for the front out of the longer piece for the rear!

Using a knife to cut through a cable tie and sawing it from underneath upwards, with me leaning over looking down. Knife eventually slices through with the inevitable speed of light acceleration into my FACE.

It was only thanks to it being a rare day I was wearing my glasses that the nose bridge stopped me slicing my skull open.

Idiot.

Is it Northwind who has a photo of his upside down fork?

i once fitted a shimano xt hollotech crank using a torque wrench and the correct torques - in the correct 1-2-1-2-1-2 manor till they were both the desired torque.

The crank fell off on the first ride

I went back to doing it by hand till they were snug.

[quote=oldnpastit]Just a few weeks ago I very carefully put the lowers back onto my forks after servicing, and only when attempting to fit them to the bike noticed they were on back-to-front.

I did this after a service a few weeks ago.. except I ended up with the crown round the wrong way. I claim I was testing to see how the bike would handle with a super-short trail geometry..

I was knocking a headset out and when I finally got the cup out I caught it and let the copper tool drop. It sliced straight through the sidewall of my £65 new tyre that was setup tubeless on the bike next to where I was working. About 2cm! 👿

joshvegas - Member

Is it Northwind who has a photo of his upside down fork?

NO.

Balanced molgrips (the tool not the ECU fettler) on my saddle while working on the bike.

Leaned bike over to gain access to rear mech. Molgrips fell off, so I instinctively went to 'catch' them with my foot and they landed squar on the end of my toe.

Couldn't swear either as I had a bunch of the wife's family round so I just had to hop about pulling a face while it throbbed like something out of a tom and jerry cartoon.

Quite a few years ago I'd just fitted a brand new front tyre. Clearance seemed fine at first but it rubbed on the fender all the way down the first descent. So I got my swiss army knife out to cut the zip ties, slipped and shoved it straight through the sidewall.

I still sweat a bit when cutting steerers on pricy new forks.

Put on bike, spacers on, stem on, mark the steerer.
Have a think.
Measure everything just to be sure.
Measure again.
Take apart.
Measure against old forks.
Have a think to make sure nothing has been done wrong.
Build up again, chaeck the mark is in the right place.
Add 5mm just to be sure.
Measure the headtube again.
Study everything carefully.
Leave the shed for a another cooling off think.
Approach fork with confidence and a fine toothed hacksaw.

Chop.

Stop just before the cut gets too deep.
Measure everything again.
Carry on chopping. 🙂

I've also done the inner cable still in while chopping outer thing.....

i once fitted a shimano xt hollotech crank using a torque wrench and the correct torques - in the correct 1-2-1-2-1-2 manor till they were both the desired torque.

The crank fell off on the first ride

I went back to doing it by hand till they were snug.

When I got my shiny new Lauf forks I used the correct torque on the axle and it came loose during the first ride. Thankfully I noticed it before any damage done 😕 Nipped it up to what felt 'right' and has been fine since then.

Then I got a second set of Laufs, these being shiny and new, I used the torque wrench again, two different ones just to be safe.
Battered it round Laggan black and the axle was (scarily!) finger tight when I got to the bottom 🙄 No more torque wrench for me...

My mate asked me to ride his bike as it felt "funny" he had put the cranks back on at completely the wrong positions.

g5604 - My mate asked me to ride his bike as it felt "funny" he had put the cranks back on at completely the wrong positions.

I put my cranks on at something like 12 and 7 o'clock positions, I blamed the odd feeling on the oval chainring (which I'd not yet fitted) for a good 10 yards before checking.

Bought a second-hand tag-a-long for my youngest a few years back. It was grey and pink and very ropey looking so i thought i'd treat it to a new paint job to match my 456SS. I had it prepped and ready to paint but it was a little windy out so i propped open the shed door to hide it from the wind, hung it off that and began spraying. Several coats of candy apple red and large helping of glittered lacquer and it was looking good. Contented, I left it for the rest of the day to dry in the breeze. Later that evening i began to build it back up and flicked on the shed light to get some tools only to reveal a giant home-made geode. The wind assisted over spray had lightly coated everything withing eight feet of the door. It was very pretty 😀

were you ever in the navy "thepodge"

[img] [/img]

Not bike related, but I had my brand new kayak on the roof of the car. Had untied it, then realised I needed something out of the boot - not windy at all so kayak was happily sitting on the roof, I left it and opened the boot. When boot lid opened it lifted the kayak off the roof bars from where it rolled off the side of the car, hit rudder first which bust the rudder and put a hole in the kayak. To put it in context, this kayak cost more than most bike frames. Oh, and I'd driven for 1.5 hours to get to the sea for the trip I was planning on doing - not the most fun hour and a half drive home. I never have done that trip.

Aligning my front caliper, undid bolts and gave wheel a spin. For reasons unknown then decided to stop the wheel by sticking one of my finger ends in disc. Sharp pain. Some blood. Couldn't look. Had to get my missus to check I'd not cut the end off, thankfully the nail had taken the brunt of the force which came off a few weeks later.
RM.

Is it Northwind who has a photo of his upside down fork?

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Not that one?

Stripping parts off my eldest's new bike to sell on. Not used crank puller for ages, so made sure I started on non drive side just in case...

Screwed puller onto crank - seemed to go on easily. Few less turns than I remember but it'll be reet. Give it some welly with long allen key, lots of resistance then a nice moment when the crank starts to slide off...

Except it didn't. I'd slightly cross threaded the puller onto the crank and it'd stripped the top turn or two of thread out.

Took it to the bike shop this morning!

The steerers on all my bikes are hideously excessively long for a good reason. I could never trust myself to do it right.

That sounds about right for you Rich 😛

Mind you forgetting to properly tighten the faceplate bolts on a new stem on my CX bike, resulting in a OTB into the undergrowth on the first little drop should have taught me not to finish bikes off after lots of red wine.

Another one. New spd's purchased mid ride - different make to what I already had meant different cleats so I was a bit unsure about alignment.

My youthful brain persuaded me it'd be ok to do the bolts on the shoes up finger tight to check alignment. So I did just that, jumped on the bike and clipped in. And then couldn't clip out as the cleats just spun around.

So I rode round and round a park bench trying to figure out if I could fall off/prop myself up/balance/whatever to get out. Thank the lord for velcro straps! After a couple of minutes I just took my shoes off.

Changed seals on some Marz Bombers. As I refitted uppers and pushed the stanchions through I met with some resistance but kept going. Eventually gave up and pulled stanchions back out (with some effort).

I'd put the seals in upside down, so the coil spring inside it had popped off and got caught between stanchion and bush, gouging the life out of both 😕

I still contend the instructions were wrong...

Similar to Rich_S. bought new shoes, cleats and pedals. Set them up - didn't ride for a couple of weeks. Went for a road ride. Got to cafe stop. Can't unclip right foot. Leave shoe on bike and walk into cafe one shoed. Set off thinking don't clip in in case left foot gets stuck too. Ooops foots clipped in. Track standing at junc - lose balance fall over. Quite difficult to get out of shoes whilst lying on floor clipped to bike with both feet!

Bleeding the front brake on my bike,undid the nipple then went to get the bottle which I then attached to the rear caliper and squeezed the brake shooting fluid all over the shed walls.

trail_rat - were you ever in the navy "thepodge" [img] [/img]

Yeah, I joined to sail the 7 seas and put my mind at ease

Fitted new square taper and chainset on bike and couldn't work out why the FD couldn't reach the big ring. Bought two cheap but shorter bottom brackets to sort out the chainline and fitted both with no joy. Only then noticed the FD was bolted on too low and was hitting the outer chainring. More haste, less speed.

Did exactly the same thing a few weeks ago OP

ratherbeintobago - Member

Not that one?

Photoshopped by my enemies.

Bought bike, rode once, put on Marathon Plus tires, made sure direction was ok, shipped overseas to new job.

Got bike, built it up, looked at front forks, disc brake was on the other side, odd I thought, checked tires, wrong direction, swapped tire around, couldn't get to fit to bike, ****ing forks bent isn't it.

Oh no, actually I've attached the stem with the forks on backwards, had to redo the whole thing, swap tire backaround. THen I discovered I hate Marathons anyway.

Servicing some big upside down DH forks, started filling them with expensive suspension oil before realising that the drain plug was off and it was all going onto the floor.

Must have been plenty of others with more serious consequences but that one sticks in the mind!

Cheers, Rich

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Thanks chaps. Feeling a [i]little[/i] better about my dumbassery now. 😆

Finally, a thread for me.

So many go choose from... But these three spring to mind.

Ruining the axle of my front wheel when trying to remove it to replace the bearings by guessing (incorrectly) that I had to pop an Allen key into each end of the axle and unscrew it. All I did was flare out the end of the axle meaning it was useless and no, I couldn't get a replacement.

Cutting the integrated seat mast of a Ridley Dean TT too small, despite measuring 20 times. That still makes me feel ill.

Somehow getting my finger caught between the chain and the chainring at a speed that meant it did half a revolution before i stopped turning the cranks with the other hand. Psyching myself up to do the half revolution required to fre my bloody digit took a while.

So OP I wouldn't worry, there's loads more painful and expensive ****ups that you could have made!

One more for you - bought my wife a dropper post, I had about half an hour to get it fitted before she got home from work -I wanted it to be a surprise for her. It wouldn't sit low enough in the frame because of a bend in the seat tube, so................I cut 50mm of the end of it. Not good.

Bought an Xtracycle/Free Radical longtail kit to convert an old rigid MTB into a killer cargo bike.

- 160 mile round trip to dealer
- Cost me about 500 with all the bags, deck, extras etc
- Booked use friend's lawn and a free, sunny day.
- Dismantled and cleaned entire bike, stripped rear control and gear cables out in readiness for longer ones.
- Broke old chain in readiness for new longer chain.
- Laid out all the Xtracycle kit and re-read the instructions.
- Cracked open a bottle of beer and grabbed spanner to install kit.
- Realised that my donor-bike had completely incompatible dropouts. Game Over
- Threw beer, kicked bike, carefully re-packed everything and drove 80 miles to return the useless kit.
- Don't even remember then rebuilding/re-cabling the bike, probably blanked out the memory.

Bought an Xtracycle/Free Radical longtail kit to convert an old rigid MTB into a killer cargo bike.

- 160 mile round trip to dealer
- Cost me about 500 with all the bags, deck, extras etc
- Booked use friend's lawn and a free, sunny day.
- Dismantled and cleaned entire bike, stripped rear control and gear cables out in readiness for longer ones.
- Broke old chain in readiness for new longer chain.
- Laid out all the Xtracycle kit and re-read the instructions.
- Cracked open a bottle of beer and grabbed spanner to install kit.
- Realised that my donor-bike had completely incompatible dropouts. Game Over
- Threw beer, kicked bike, carefully re-packed everything and drove 80 miles to return the useless kit.
- Don't even remember then rebuilding/re-cabling the bike, probably blanked out the memory.

Could not ride my bike as I forgot where I put my saddle!

Found it today so will fit in the morning before riding.

Done stupid things like can't find the pedal washers for the SRAM crank.

Realised I need an oversized centre lock ring and none in stock for weeks during my new build.

I was fitting my Alfine onto the bike and did up the bolts before realising that the cable was trapped between the nut and the frame pretty much severing it. Lesson learned I now make sure I always attach the cable before doing up the wheel nuts.

Driving to the Quantocks for a ride. Front tyre could do with a bit more air, but I couldn't undo the presta valve stem lock nut, not matter what I try. In the end I just have to drive home.

When I built up my Yeti Big Top, I just couldn't stop the knocking in the headset. Terrified that I had buggered the frame when I pressed in the cups, I took the whole lot apart – only to realise I had put the bottom bearing in upside down...

rhayter - Member

When I built up my Yeti Big Top, I just couldn't stop the knocking in the headset. Terrified that I had buggered the frame when I pressed in the cups, I took the whole lot apart – only to realise I had put the bottom bearing in upside down..

When I got my trailfox, it was absolutely <immaculate> but the steering was terrible, felt like a really overtight head bearing. So I slackened it off a little, and it knocked like a bastard. No middle ground. Opened it up- the bottom headset bearing was completely missing 😆

I did the chainring-cassette + 2 thing when installing a new chain but then forgot to actually thread it back through the mech when joining it. Thanks to being a shiny new 11 speed chain and not yet having bought quicklinks, the next morning was spent going to the shops to buy some quicklinks instead of the expected shakedown ride in the woods.

[quote="Northwind"]Opened it up- the bottom headset bearing was completely missingHad a team mate years ago did the same, stripped his headset down to clean it. Forgot the bearings for the bottom race. Apparently it turned smoothly in the stand..........

Whats worse is he managed to get from his flat to the start of the training ride without dying. Lots of gesticulating and flapping of hands in broken french (me) and pidgin english (him) while we tried to work out why his steering was a "bit stiff".

[quote="retro83"]Balanced molgrips (the tool not the ECU fettler) on my saddle while working on the bike.Just wondering why anyone would need such a blunt tool near a bike. Unless its to try and adjust Avid Elixir brakes.

*one of the guys* (quite a bit bigger than me, so no names..) in our riding group is a joiner to trade and is famous for his use of the human torque wrench on bike parts.

The expression most used when describing him spannering is:

"up until it breaks, and back half a turn.."

Changed seals on some Marz Bombers. As I refitted uppers and pushed the stanchions through I met with some resistance but kept going. Eventually gave up and pulled stanchions back out (with some effort).

I'd put the seals in upside down, so the coil spring inside it had popped off and got caught between stanchion and bush, gouging the life out of both

I still contend the instructions were wrong...

Luckily my first attempt changing seals on my bombers was only semi unsuccessful. I put the oil seals in upside down (the instructions weren't really clear and I never noted the orientation of the ones I'd taken out like a dumbass). Everything went back together nicely, and they were buttery smooth, however the oil all pissed out over the course of about 2 rides until I was riding with no damping. More seals bought, put in the right way up this time.

Fitted a load of new stuff (brakes, chainring, gears etc) before going to the alps and was stuck between flats and clipless pedals. Went to bed promising myself I'd get up and give it all a once-over before packing the car. Obviously I didn't.

First ride the chainring bolts shook loose and the last one that hadn't fallen out snapped the spider arm in order to escape. Following day the pedal I hadn't tightened well enough stripped the thread on the crank arm. Had to buy new cranks at slightly overpriced Morzine prices.

Bike in the stand fitting new bottom bracket.
All fitted and give it a quick spin and flick it up and down the rear cassette (absolutely no need to do it) highlighted that it wasn't shifting properly so 10 spent ages fettling, oiling, lubing, messing with rear mech screws only to figure out I had clamped the exposed rear mech cabe on the jaws of the bike stand when I clamped it on the top tube!

Read through this thread yesterday, thought 'nothing I can really post on this'. That should have been enough to set alarms bells ringing.

Extracting some chains from a tub of Putoline this afternoon, I managed to tip the whole tin over. 😥 I imagine I will be a social outcast in my street as a result of the expletives that erupted. I even surprised myself with some of them. 2 good things about it - (a) it went away from me, so none on my clothes or shoes (b) it was in the garage, not the kitchen....

Now to clean up. I've left it to harden and think it will come up with a scraper, then maybe scrub the area with paraffin. Planning to melt it in another container and transfer back to the tin without the assorted rubbish off the garage floor. What could possibly go wrong?

Setting up disc brakes years ago for a trip to Wales and as I spun the wheel and moved the caliper my finger was between it and the rotor which sliced off a rather nice strip from the top of my finger , a bit like a bacon slicer. Done the original posters trick too and like every home mechanic put forks on upside down, lowers on backwards etc etc

I've cut brake hoses too short, frayed brand new gear cables, but most recently spent several hours over two nights trying to get my rear mech shifting nicely, ended up fitting new inner and outer cable, taking shifter to bits, re-indexing mech, you name it, all to no avail, turned out downshift lever was just bottoming out on my dropper remote before reaching full travel.........

Also drove to a local wood recently to squeeze in a quick ride/trail fairy session before dark, and realised on arrival that my front axle was on the work bench in the shed at home.

Oh, and just fitted new mini V brakes to my cx/road bike only to realise my guards won't fit when the autumn comes.

Just remembered - trip to Morzine to do the PdS. Bimbled off to Halfrauds to obtain a bike box rather than buy a bike bag.

"No problem" they said and I went home with a bike box.

Stripped bike down for its journey and packing everything into the box was a bit of a chore. Making sure it all went in took about 4 hours in total. "Never mind" says I, "these Taiwanese are very clever fitting their bikes into these boxes".

Anyway, arrived in Geneva and everyone collects their bags/boxes. Turns out mine was some sort of kid's bike size box (24") and I'd somehow squeezed a Dialled Alpine into it. I was actually quite impressed with myself right up until halfway through the first day when it turned out I'd knackered a finger and couldn't ride it. And then had to repack the frigging thing into the world's smallest bike box.