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AS the obesity epidemic spreads, boffins predict that by the year 3050 human beings will have overtaken the blue whale as the largest mammal on earth.Forget rising sea levels – the human race will already have drowned in a sea of lard, grease and chip fat as we waddle our way to a self-inflicted Armageddon.
Meanwhile, an army of gurus, quacks and false prophets are laughing all the way to the bank as they climb the soap box (or should that be the biscuit tin?) to tell us the best way to lose weight before our collective mass throws the earth out of orbit and we spiral uncontrollably into the freezing abyss of space.
One of the solutions some advance to combat our expanding girth is cycling.
Dear God. No.
Let’s face it, cyclists are a nuisance and should be banned from the roads immediately.
I would rather see more fat people than cyclists.
What is it about climbing into a saddle that suddenly causes human beings to abandon common sense, reason and common courtesy? Is there some hidden property in Lycra that turns people into complete prats?
Are those shorts so tight they cut off the oxygen supply to the brain? I’ve lost count of the times these muppets have nearly mown me down on the Sabrina Bridge.
Now, in the interests of fairness, they are riding on a cycle lane and they have every right to be there.
But it’s like they think they’re Bradley Wiggins.
On the road they behave like spoiled brats, breaking every rule motorists are forced to slavishly obey – or risk having their licence taken off them.
In the last week I’ve seen a cyclist ride at full speed across a zebra crossing without looking before flipping the finger at a helpless driver who had to anchor on to avoid knocking the idiot off his bike.
I would have been tempted to put my foot down.
They regularly go through red lights or ride two abreast as if to deliberately obstruct drivers.
The rules just don’t apply to these “lycra loonies” as one of our readers dubbed them.
While we’re on the subject we should also ban horses from the roads.
“Horses were there first” someone will whinge. Yes they were. So was feudalism.
What’s your point again? If cyclists want to ride I suggest they talk to India. They have a burgeoning space programme. I hear Mars is nice at this time of year.
By James Connell of the Worcester Evening News.
Shocking... 😯
Not so much that this idiot thinks that he can get away with his provocative persona at a local newspaper level (he's not Jeremy Clarkson is he now!), but that he is allowed to voice this tripe... Discuss...
Oh, and his email address is freely available on the website if you click on his name... Not suggesting anyone [i]should[/i] use it as they see fit, but well...
It's called link bait and you still have time to edit out the link here.
... Discuss...
Really, why not just go straight to Pitchforks.
The link will now get lots of clicks which will keep the advertising people happy as they will get more traffic - wonder why they do these inflammatory articles?
Read this instead. It's far more enlightening than another rent-a-hack piece about lycra louts. http://www.bikesnobnyc.blogspot.ca/2013/11/shafted-again.html
Comically poor article. It reads as if he's been asked to write a Mr Angry anti-cycling piece but really couldn't be bothered and just bashed it out in a few minutes.
Edited jameso... Fair point, didn't stop to think that!
Shocking, or just lame, easy writing? There's not a single intelligent or original point or example of wit in that piece. He's probably venting after realising the height of his 'journalistic' career is writing for the Worcs Evening News. Which judging by that example, he's lucky to have achieved : )
It's not even worth a complaint email, it would be like admitting that you read to the end of it.
whoops.. I fell for it 😳
I emailed him, and his editor
One email was to register my disapproval at the overtly negative connotations in the piece with a polite request that this be the very pinnacle of his journalistic career..
The other was just calling him a ****ing idiot
jameso, I still find it shocking that anybody could actually think like that about another group of people within our society. I know it probably took less than 5 minutes to write, but it will inevitably have its sympathisers sadly!
Not quite sure what to do when I inevitably bump into him crossing Sabrina bridge on my bike (as I do quite often, and always being courteous towards others crossing)... Probably best if I just call him "Fatty" and tell him to get on a bike and do some exercise!
I've had the misfortune to meet him in person once, he struck me as someone who was being still breast feed.
Typical fishing article, ignore, or ridicule in person if you have that option
I think we are seeing Poe's law here, I genuinely suspect this could be a parody.
Include a quote from Tom Booker and it could be a Daily Mash article.
Maybe, yes. Some people would generalise about 'coke-fuelled, bitty-lipped hacks' too. There are stupid people in life as well as more serious and worrying hate issues. At least Matthew Paris got in there early and managed to cause some real offence )jameso, I still find it shocking that anybody could actually think like that about another group of people within our society. I know it probably took less than 5 minutes to write, but it will inevitably have its sympathisers sadly!
Read the comments after his article. Not a lot of support for his article. Thankfully.
Sure I,ve read that before... Looks like a cut and paste with the locations changed.
Probably best if I just call him "Fatty" and tell him to get on a bike and do some exercise!
I quite liked the titty-lipped coke whore jibe above too.. and there was an elderly lady from Cambridge I read about somewhere recently who had found a novel use for a bag full of dog shit
It's all a bit of fun, clickbait whatever but there are serious implications.. There will always be people stupid enough to relate to this crap, maybe even to feel emboldened and empowered by it..
If he was talking about black people or Muslims he'd be facing serious charges..
he's an ugly minded little pillock
He writes stuff and publishes it in order to get people to read it. Up until now I've never heard of him.
job done!
Next week it will be breast feeding mothers in a public place.....
The Dog Poo lady got fined yesterday!(metro) Apparently she didnt realise the bag would split all over the proffessor. Too be fair if he was riding close enough to a pensioner with a dog to get hit in the face with a bag of crap, he was riding too close! I think its more she'd been abusive to lots of cyclists on a shared path. He just got in the mush. 😯
Lycra loonies? Tights shorts joke? I hear mars is nice this time of year?
Not even a poor mans Clarkson, a wannabe poor mans Clarkson. I wrote better articles about 'what happened at the weekend' when I was in year 4.
Infantile by-the-numbers stuff. Then again, given the calibre and salaries of reporters on regional dailies, probably about the expected level of wit.
[url= http://aseasyasridingabike.wordpress.com/2012/09/25/the-terrible-journalists-guide-to-writing-an-article-about-bicycles/ ]As ever...[/url]
Oh and [I]Worcester Evening News[/I]?
Not exactly the sharp end of journalism is it?
Its not really worth getting worked up over the scribblings of a journalistic failure stuck at some crappy little local rag, preparing for his imminent redundancy by bad mouthing cyclists...
On the plus side - there is not one positive comment added to the original article. The good people of Worcester obviously feel the same way about this idiot that the STW Forum do!
what a knobber, not going to grace that rag with my presence as thats what they are after.
I'm currently in a protracted e-mail conversation with somebody at Worcester News asking them to retract the article and apologise (with the CTC and my local district and local councillor, who I know personally, copied in). They keep claiming it was clearly just a joke and doesn't matter. Their latest apologises "that people have taken offence" (which I've pointed out is a non-apology). Oh and I'm declining their repeated requests to give them feedback to publish.
It is worth getting worked up over, because some idiot drivers will take it seriously and somebody might well end up getting hurt because of it.
sigh..
Aracer good work sir.
Tolerating this type of ****waffle regrettably leads the bigoted to the conclusion their view is right because a journalist wrote it and it's a news story.
Well done aracer.
There were 4 letters published today taking the points up, but that **** needs a rocket, not their letters page filling up.
that **** needs a rocket, not their letters page filling up.
Exactly. I noted that I regret posting a comment on the online article, no way am I rewarding them for this. In fact I shan't be going out of my way at all to provide them with material in the future. I did forward that link to the journalists guide above as I felt he was possibly missing some points.
I have a reply from Roger Geffen at the CTC commenting on the excellence of my response, and another from the newspaper not quite saying the same thing. Does anybody know how I go about escalating this - on first inspection it doesn't appear to be something the PCC will take up, though I guess it doesn't hurt to try. Will certainly be writing to my MP.
It irks me greatly - the paper seems to exist on reports of people doing charity bike rides and cycle shops giving bikes to underprivileged / disabled children. There must be 30-odd articles a week about cycling in one way or another. Plus the advertising.
I wonder if I can persuade GBC, Worcester Cycles, Peddlers etc to withdraw their adverts and dump the Worcester News loyalty card scheme......
Good work as ever aracer. 🙂
I wonder if I can persuade GBC, Worcester Cycles, Peddlers etc to withdraw their adverts and dump the Worcester News loyalty card scheme......
They have those? It's certainly worth a try, or at least the threat of doing so.
Nice work. What an odious cretin.
Will certainly be writing to my MP.
I wouldn't bother... One of the GBC Riders wrote... This was the highly predictable, and totally evasive reply (photo cut to protect name and address of the recipient)...
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I do know that one or two of the local shops do/did spend a reasonable amount each year on advertising with the Worcester Evening News, I'm sure the editor would LOVE for the outcome of the dick that wrote the article in the first place to be that he loses £5-10k a year in lost advertising revenue from local businesses!