[Closed] Anyone had a mid life crisis?

I would suggest that these feelings are pretty much mandatory if you want to post on here.

I'd say more OCD than mid-life crisis.

It sounds as if you've missed the mid-life crisis and have turned into an old grump already.
A decent MLC involves staying up all night, being inappropriately young at heart, cheap dates and expensive toys.

Why didn't you go home last night & leave your wife to enjoy herself?
There are taxis, you know.

Yeah, classic one and went and bought a performance car I didn't need whatsoever. All sorted now and at peace with myself.

Ben - I'm 46 and felt like that for many years -

- so I gave up work (as in corporate life) and started working for myself, started going out on my bike more in the day when I could make time and, hey presto, problems solved.....

Except now I have less money and a not so nice car - which frankly I no longer care about!!!

Make some changes and make yourself happier!

Happy days! 😀

MTFU

decent job, good family, nice bikes, new extension

Only one of those things can bring you real happiness.

Clue, it's not the bikes )

I teach physics

i use to wake up thinking "is this it"

then the results got worse

i don't think that any more I'm to busy

not sure if you are having a mid life crisis or just having trouble sorting priorities

you need the fear of loosing all you have to help you value it

Try some counselling?

I just have and it's changed my perspective on life, I now appreciate what's important. Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees and need a little help from someone outside.

There's still a stigma around such things, but I (and my family) found it very worthwhile. I got it free through work, which was stressing me out. I'd happily pay for it - cheaper than a divorce (or even a big night down the pub!) and the improved levels of all round happiness are priceless. 🙂

I was [u]exactly[/u] like you 6 yrs ago with my ex, we split and i became happy again.

Sounds like you need to do the same.

As you did not leave the party with a younger woman, in a sports car I'd say this is not a true MLC 😉

underwhelmed/unexcited by it all and that somethings missing

Argued with my wife

edit - too slow - that lot up there ^^^^ beat me too it!

Yup, 46 years old good job, family, etc, no money worries, constant craving for going out riding (mtb or road), surfing, running and feel miserable a **** when I don't go out, got various different groups of mates who I can ride with but increasingly getting bored of the same old stuff. Used to try and plan my weekend around riding/surfing and tbh feel very selfish a lot of the time as I should be concentrating on the family and spending time with them, It's a fine balance between family time and getting out on the bike and as my job is very demanding and I regularly do a 50+ hour week all I want to do at the weekend is go out and get my 'fix'. For me I am trying to get some quality weekend trips planned ( lakes, Wales, etc) as well as a few enduros to keep me focused and then do a few late eve rides when kids are in bed so I can free up weekends for quality family time and if there are a few spare hours over the weekend that I can get out then so be it. All sounds very me me me but after suffering from severe depression for a number of years and medication not really working for me getting out on the bike really helps clear my head.

jUst to reinforce what I said above.....

...I agree with GlennG and had similar experiences with depression (before I made some changes)....the thing that helped me the most was some counselling (actually referred by my Doctor, so I must have been in a bad way - interestingly the drugs didn't work for me at all!).

....anyway, best route is find some way of re-assessing your priorities (a friend has successfully tried Buddhist Meditation - whatever, if it works, it works!) and then make the changes that make you happy!

My riding is now entirely done on night rides (out at 7.30, back by 10 - so I see my kids for evening meal before I go out and again just before they go to bed) and at the crack of dawn o na Saturday so back when they've finished watching sat morning TV. You can get it all sorted if you think about what you want and how to organise yourself.

Nothing wrong your just concentrating on you for a change a lot men work bloody hard for years. Time for some pay back - 53 years young time for that 160mm spicy me thinks!

Yes/no - dunno.

I did by a Nomad Carbon the other day though..

I think that might be my mid-life crisis right there..

Still, pfft whatever..As Sheryl Crowe said "If it makes you happy.."

I had one aged about 32, took up cycling, changed my life, never looked back. 12 yrs ago. its helped everything, work, friends, family, perspective on life.

I'm on number 7 or 8, I forget which.

Done the sports car thing, also tried skateboarding, dirt jumping, bought an overpriced mountain bike ages ago, ditto roadbike. The list goes on.

I believe a normal course of action is to have an affair with a hot young bit of stuff next, although none of the lads I meet take my fancy.

Younger bird,sportscars,big divorce,re married,new family happy now,but...the grass aint always greener,so,work it out! .

I had my first when I turned 40, took six months off work and went surfing in my van. Fortunately my girlfriend is similarly minded and came along.

Five years on I have taken a pay-off from work and have spent last three months riding my bike and painting, looking to start some voluntary work soon. Personal circumstances allowed me to do both these (no kids possibly being the biggest), and not having an massively expensive lifestyle - apart from the bikes and surfboards!

But fundamentally I indentified what was causing the problem - inability to handle work stress, working ridiculous hours and having no time to do what made me happy. Although my current situation isn't sustainable forever, I'll have to get a paying job at some point, it will be on my terms - part time etc.

I think the point is that your free none work time is insufficient for both your personal and wider needs.A questions to ask is whether you can make work more flexible to give yourself free time to do your stuff and family/friend stuff. Also, I try not to tie myself into rules about how much of x or y is right amount of time to spend,

Also, talk to your friends and partner if you are able - you may find them sympathetic or at leadt empathetic as there aren't many who cruise into their forties without some reflection on their lives.

... and finally. . . You will get all sorts of advice from people, but my experience is that it is what they would do in similar circumstanecs, but without trying to translate to you. Useful, but you really have to come to your own conclusions.

Finally, finally, I would be especially caregul of whar a load of middle aged mountainbikers post on a forum on a wet and windy sunday when we'd all sooner be out on us bikes. 🙂

Good luck!

I had my first when I turned 40, took six months off work and went surfing in my van. Fortunately my girlfriend is similarly minded and came along.

Five years on I have taken a pay-off from work and have spent last three months riding my bike and painting, looking to start some voluntary work soon. Personal circumstances allowed me to do both these (no kids possibly being the biggest), and not having an massively expensive lifestyle - apart from the bikes and surfboards!

But fundamentally I indentified what was causing the problem - inability to handle work stress, working ridiculous hours and having no time to do what made me happy. Although my current situation isn't sustainable forever, I'll have to get a paying job at some point, it will be on my terms - part time etc.

I think the point is that your free none work time is insufficient for both your personal and wider needs.A questions to ask is whether you can make work more flexible to give yourself free time to do your stuff and family/friend stuff. Also, I try not to tie myself into rules about how much of x or y is right amount of time to spend,

Also, talk to your friends and partner if you are able - you may find them sympathetic or at leadt empathetic as there aren't many who cruise into their forties without some reflection on their lives.

... and finally. . . You will get all sorts of advice from people, but my experience is that it is what they would do in similar circumstanecs, but without trying to translate to you. Useful, but you really have to come to your own conclusions.

Finally, finally, I would be especially caregul of whar a load of middle aged mountainbikers post on a forum on a wet and windy sunday when we'd all sooner be out on us bikes.

You sir, are very lucky.

Clink - I know and I do try not to flaunt it. But equally I don't know any of my friends who would swap their kids for my lifestyle.

What have you had extended ?

You`re only 39 ffs get a grip, if in doubt tabata yourself to death !!!!

Off to TESCOs for a milf spotting exercise !

36 years old and just bought a vespa....does that count?

I think he means hair extensions, a comb over at 39, get a grip and go for a number one!

Consecutive thread titles on the front page:

Over 40, bought a BMX and not regreted it? dee66

Anyone had a mid life crisis? BenHouldsworth

😆

Yes had one of those together with a breakdown - then got rid of my Spicy bought a Bottlerocket, then an Evil Sovereign and now building up a Prophet. Bikes are wonderful things to help you deal with life. The only probs then are that life gets in the way.

What you need to do is meet up with some people that have it worse than you to make you realise that your life really aint that bad-try going to a hospice and chatting to some people that are dying with no family for support or friends.
Sit, reflect then realise what you do have and work on it!

You need to have a chat with a Joey witness, that will sort you out.

I've owned 27 different motorbikes in 4 years... all bought as 'keepers' at the time... i rekon i've had a mid-life crisis for AGES 🙂

looks to me like you took a wrong turn at adolescence and bought into the beige consumerist ideal, instantly becoming just another member of capitalism's dolefully lowing herd..

finally after years of blind obeisance your mind, body and soul have started to re-connect and you have realised the cruel trick that has been perpetrated on you..

and I regularly do a 50+ hour week

Your problem may be there. Sounds more like burn out to me than MLC.

I'm 42 going through exactly the same thing, done sports cars, work hard, good but extremely stressful career but feel very underwhelmed and missing my family when overseas, tired and grumpy at home all to the detriment of any relationship.

Trying to reassess what's important in my life, where I want to go for the next few years and make the right changes for once.

Well at least I know I'm not the only one.

The working long hours and being time poor is something I definately identify with and though commitments mean downsizing isn't an option right now.

Olddog, thanks for some sound advice.

Yunki, you are quite right, the things you own end up owning you.

Consecutive thread titles on the front page:

Over 40, bought a BMX and not regreted it? dee66

Anyone had a mid life crisis? BenHouldsworth

6+ motorcycles per year...class!

I'm 37 and ready to walk out of my life/work/family completely. Totally had enough of everything and can't see the point of trudging through such crap for the next 30 years because that's what society expects.

it has nothing to do with age not being able to ride my bike or stay fit in someway has always done my head in.

as you get older more stuff gets in the way. but that is a result of the choices you make, if you wanted to you could have had yourself tied up with all kinds of stuff and no free time by the time you reached your early twenties.

BenHouldsworth - Member

39 years old, decent job, good family, nice bikes, new extension.

On paper it all looks good yet have this persistent sensation of being underwhelmed/unexcited by it all and that somethings missing.

I've become increasingly obsessed with my fitness, get grumpy if external sources (wife/kids/friends) derail my plans and I actively try to avoid social situations that impact on me getting an early night to so I'm fresh the next day.

Argued with my wife at a dinner party last night as I wanted to le

You sir are a triathlete.

My mrs gets fedup if I go riding most weekends, she doesn't mind the odd weekend though and is quite happy for me to go riding in the evenings (shan't tell her it to the pub though :wink:) Used to be a real bone of contention and caused rows when I wanted to go nearly every weekend, now we have more of a balance and we are a lot happier,being angry is so destructive so think about your anger and change anticipate your moods, it will work in your favour, sorry for my crap grammar.

i consider myself very lucky able to go for a few rides a week it's taken a few years to get here had another child 2 years ago after a 13year gap and at that point did some rearranging work wise i.e stopped being on call and in fact changed job when that employer didn't like me reducing my hours down from 50+hrs to 38hrs with a little bit of overtime when I wanted it,current employer is very happy with this arrangment in fact goe someway to pushing other service engineers(those with kids) to follow suit