Call us cynical, or call us highly informed industry insiders with our fingers on the pulse. But we think the marketing departments of the bike industry are going to find new ways to sell old things. As component shortages continue, companies will seize the opportunity to clear out some unsold stock. Let us help you be alert to what hot new trends you should be raising a sceptical eyebrow to.
Access All Areas
You thought fat bikes had lost their shine? As access campaigns step up and push back against archaic restrictions on where you can ride a bike, the Access All Areas bike will be marketed as the bike that can handle any terrain. It’s for the rebellious rider that sticks two fingers up to the government, who wants to escape the ride by numbers crowd at the trail centre.
‘Where we’re going, we don’t need paths, or designated trails. Bring your tent, bring your bow and arrow. Join the rebellion and Access All Areas’.
One Size, One Planet
In the quest to reduce carbon footprints, bike companies will stop making a large range of sizes. Instead, long stems will make a return, enabling taller riders to ride medium sized frames. Since there are already plenty of long stems on the planet, the environmental savings will be even greater.
‘With One Size, One Planet, you can be sure that our Average-Joe-Geometry will fit you, whatever your height. Based around a medium frame that will fit up to 78% of riders, fit adjustments for taller riders can be made through the use of our Long Stem System. Forget size anxiety, just ride’.
Rock Steady
The fragility of the rear mech is well known to riders, especially the rock slaying tech buffs of this world. The answer is simple: a shorter mech with greater ground clearance, facilitated by a narrower range cassette and double or triple up front, depending on the steepness of your local terrain.
‘Crush the rock gardens and cruise over baby head trails. With a Rock Steady set up, you have all the clearance you need to fly freely up or down the roughest of trails’.
Tuneable Tyre Inserts
This amazing new technology allows you to tune the pressure inside your tyre. Lightweight rubber goes inside your tyre, between the rim and the tyre. Pump it hard, pump it soft, even patch it up for use time and time again. Free yourself from sticky messy sealant and use a Tuneable Tyre Insert. No, it’s not just an inner tube. Honest.
‘Replaceable, repairable, tuneable and removable, these mess free Tyre Tuners will keep you rolling without the faff of a tubeless set up’.
Space Saver Bars
By installing Space Saver Bars, riders with an N+1 problem will be able to reduce the overall width of their bikes and store up to 1/3 more bicycles. They’ll also be better able to squeeze through gates on footpaths, and tackle trails in dense woodland or undergrowth. If Space Saver doesn’t catch on, expect to see them rebranded as Trail Sneakers.
‘Make room in your shed for just one more bike. With Space Saver Bars, there’s always room to squeeze another in’.
Straight and Narrow
Save weight with narrow rims, and with the reduced surface area you can also reduce your chances of dinging a rim on the trail. Sometimes the old ways are the best.
‘Rotational mass is one of the most critical areas for weight saving on your bike, so don’t waste effort spinning wide rims around the trails.’
Schrader Valves
Now that rims are wider, there’s no need for valves to be skinny little presta valves with fragile little ends. Expect to a whole world of drilling accessories to aid in the conversion of current rims to Schrader sizing.
‘Add Schrader valves for peace of mind and durability. Our Tap Kit lets you bring your wide rims into the next century.’
Super Plush Tyres
You’ve got the Lay-Z-Boy at home, you’ve got the leather seat upgrade in your car, you’ve got the Hush Puppies for your feet. You like things comfortable and plush. Maybe you’re thinking about a gel saddle cover, or you’ve bought some ergonomic grips. What you need is Super Plush tyres, available in 2.6in and 2.8in widths across a whole range of wheel sizes.
‘When you’re done with pushing yourself and just want the best of life’s comforts, go Super Plush’
Bikepacking-specific Seat Posts
Special seat posts for bike packers will be promoted as offering great secure fixing points for bags. With no moving parts, there’s no fear of rubbing anything crucial, or ending up with a droopy dropper miles from anywhere.
‘The Fit ‘n’ Fix will allow you to carry everything you need for a big weekend away. Making drooping and chafing a thing of the past, strap on your packs and just ride’.
Are we way off the mark? What else have we missed that will be rebranded and repackaged as The Latest Greatest Thing? Head to the comments and let us know!
