Pete Scullion headed to the Alps to check out the Graubünden area – read his destination guide here. While he was there, we set him a ‘Mountain Bike Bingo’ challenge to find as many ride holiday in the Alps cliches as he could.
How do you think he did?
1A. Fill your bottle from somewhere scenic/cattle trough
Water refills don’t come with bad views in the Swiss Alps.
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1B. Fill your bottle from somewhere scenic/cattle trough
Off the back of Madrisa in Davos, the streams are plentiful, so a 3 litre bladder is no required. Ali found a toad but it wasn’t his prince, so he just refilled on water instead.
2. Sound of Music photo in an alpine meadow
One of our riders was fully into the Sound of Music setup, the other wasn’t. Spot who went full ham above Lenzerheide.
3. Find a bad menu translation eg ‘sweated fish on a duvet of potatoes’
‘With wood juicy’. I don’t even want to know what that is. Hotel Grischa adding the comical wine notes.
4. Learn the local phrase for ‘Top of the morning/alright me babber/OK cock-pet-luv…’
“’Sch guet” Swiss for Alright my lover/babs/mate etc. Essentially, ‘how you doing?’
5. Buy a coffee in a dressing gown, downtown
When the hotel coffee isn’t up to scratch, Ali goes and finds the good stuff to get the brain ticking.
6. Sit on an inappropriate statue/sit on a statue inappropriately
Ali’s beer googles sent on the hunt of some more lumbering women in Flims.
7. Get a selfie with a cow with a bell
As you can tell from the selfie, I’m not all that fond of being in close proximity to cows. Unlike sheep who run early, cows will bolt only when you’re super close. These gals seemed relaxed enough for me to risk a wee photo though.
8. Swim in a mountain stream
Caumasee is a lake not fed by a river, but groundswell and as a result, the water is quite a bit less tepid than the water feeding from the glaciers above. First attempt saw my bibs come flying off. Luckily, nobody was harmed as a result. Otherwise, the perfect way to cool off after a sweaty day on the bikes.
9A. Get the highest puncture/mechanical in the area.
Puncture #1 of the trip at around the 2000m mark having dropped off the top of the Jokobshorn. Rafi went into full guide mode and wouldn’t let me fix it myself.
9B. Get the highest puncture/mechanical in the area.
Puncture stakes upped by 228m vertical. Flims takes the title for highest mechanical. After an F1-style change by myself, impressing even Christian, the valve snapped and we had to start again. The tyre was at 58psi before it seated properly…
The Ones That Got Away…
Here are the Alps cliches that Pete didn’t get – if you think you have a better picture, or can fill in any of the Mountain Bike Bingo gaps, feel free to share them with us! You can tag us on social media with #MTBBingo
- Find and eat a plate of food that is:
- entirely meat,entirely cheeseentirely vegan
- Shake hands with the mayor
- Find (and ride?) a local freak bike
- Suffer from non-picture postcard weather
- Buy a public transport ticket from a machine, correctly
- Strangest souvenir spotted
- Milk a cow
- Write a wine bottle style flowery wank description of the local hooch
- Get a photo of someone riding round a bend with a mountain and a goat in the background
- A photo of you drinking a beer that is bigger than your head
- Get a photo of you in a swiss hat and playing a mountain horn
- Get invited to a locals’ party