Not just #MakingUpTheNumbers – Gloopy Glory at the final round of the HSBC National Downhill Series

‘You just need to commit.’ I know Binnsy’s right but there are far better riders than I going face first into the mud.

‘Come on, give it a go at least’ I tell myself.

I commit fully. I crash faster. The bike remains prone in the mud a few feet behind me. Stomping back to retrieve it I remember ex-Army man Chris Borrowdale saying ‘the Somme didn’t have ruts this deep’ just minutes earlier, and I can’t help but think that he might be right.

Welcome to Bringewood for the fifth and final round of the National DH Series. It’s an absolute slop-fest!

Located a couple of miles west of Ludlow, Bringewood is one of several ‘Pearce tracks’ in the Shropshire area. ‘I stopped racing them a few years ago and moved up to the SDA’s where the real gnar is’ Masters World Champion Mark Weightman told me recently. I don’t think anyone’s going to argue his point as ‘the nicest of England’s quiet counties’ (according to the Shropshire Tourism website) isn’t blessed with the biggest hills in the world, but they certainly know how to make the best of what they’ve got.

The track is split into three by a couple of fire road crossings. The top section has been recently felled so it’s open to the elements and it’s not very steep so it’s holding water; a combination that delivers absolute carnage. The middle section is a long straight with a series of jumps. It’s a bit like a BMX track, except there’s a drop on one side, the run into one of the jumps is full of rocks and one of the doubles has a load of roots in the middle. This then leads back into the woods and from here it’s brilliant; the tree cover is dense and it’s relatively dry all the way down to the final table top and the sprint to the line.

It’s a National so nearly all of the big boys have come out to play. In the Vets Andrew Titley is back after injury, Madison Saracen Team Manager Will Longden’s racing, the aforementioned Mark Weightman’s here of course, there’s Guy Theron who came fourth at Worlds, ex-elite rider Stu Hughes who’s brilliant on this type of track, and Marky Neal who’s already been confirmed as the Series winner; so once again I’m looking at the other six riders to see if there’s anyone I might beat. It’s slim pickings.

The Grand Vets category has also reached double figures. Rich Simpson isn’t here but other than that there’s only Steve Felstead missing through injury. A crash on a recent trail ride has left him with a broken collarbone and damage to the main vein on his left arm. At Steve’s age I imagine any crash is a possible career ender but we all hope he’ll be able to keep the pipe and slippers at bay for another season.

It’s the first time we’ve had a full team out all season and Neil is quietly confident he can get a decent result in Masters. He’s done well here before. He’s also brought his caravan and parked as far away from the uplift as is possible. ‘What are we doing down here?’ an exasperated Binnsy questions. ‘You haven’t been here before have you?’ Neil responds; ‘trust me’.

The first few runs of a race weekend are typically the worst. The track’s usually a bit greasy so everyone holds back for half an hour and lets the groms take the top off it, but this weekend I’m super keen. They give you lots of information when you’re having a baby: how to feed her, bathe her, get her to sleep. What they don’t mention is that when she starts nursery you’ll all be ill, not just for like a few days but for weeks. As such I’ve missed a race – the Fort William SDA – so I’m desperate to get cracking this weekend. ‘I’d race down a canal bank’ I tell someone on Facebook.

As it turns out though, the first few runs this weekend are the fastest. ‘In four years of racing I don’t think I can ever recall that happening before’ Binnsy muses on Sunday afternoon. Heavy showers throughout Saturday mean conditions soon deteriorate. Most of the carnage is centred around two consecutive corners on the top section; a 90-degree right hander followed by a sweeping left. By Saturday afternoon the approach into this whole section is like ice and a good percentage of riders are hitting the deck before they even reach the corners themselves. The ruts have got incredibly deep and once over axle height they become extremely difficult to ride; unless you’re Matt Walker who somehow manages to hop out of them, rail the bank like a berm and then hop back in. Then just before the triple that leads into the fire road there’s a massive hole and this is where I keep coming unstuck but it isn’t just me – the vast majority are struggling. After seven runs I call it a day and take some photos instead, which ironically turns out to be just as messy.

Saturday evening sees Binnsy sprinkle some Maldon sea salt flakes in my pasta whilst quaffing his favourite red wine. This is possibly the most middle class thing that’s ever happened at a DH race. ‘You haven’t heard of Maldon sea salt?’ he says with a ‘you haven’t lived’ look in his eyes.

Mark hasn’t brought ‘The Five Stripes’ with him (see previous episode) so we all pile into Neil’s caravan and talk #teamrumours. Minnaar and Vergier off The Syndicate you say? Not me Sir, I wouldn’t be the one to propagate such rumours. Stumbling around with a fresh bottle of gin, Weightman reveals that he’s not brought any socks or pants with him this weekend and as he shows us his bare ankles we’re all a bit concerned about what’s coming next.

With my van back in work mode, the bed’s been removed which means it’s another night sleeping with the wheel arch pressed against my back. It might be cold but at least it’s static. Another thing they don’t tell you about toddlers is that they spend the night rotating themselves through 360 degrees. With all the sickness no one can be arsed getting up so the Human Catherine Wheel is sleeping between us and I’ve grown accustomed to feeling her feet walk up and down my back every hour.

We wake up to yet more rain. Neil’s talking about dropping his tyres by 0.5 of a psi. ‘I don’t know whether to go home?’ Binnsy says. It’s quite clear that one of us is probably going to do much better than the others. Unfortunately for us, Neil’s caravan doesn’t turn out to be the golden ticket we’d hoped. We’re not offered use of the shower at any point during the weekend and there are no bacon butties on Sunday morning. By now though, the reason behind his strategy of parking miles away has become evident. Everyone in the top field is starting to wonder how they’re going to get out?

If they hadn’t done so already, by now most riders have switched to full spikes, front and rear. Someone is in the process of converting their Nicolai G19 to a G29 though, so they’ve been running tyres down all summer and are now left with a choice of drys or intermediates. Neil redeems himself slightly by lending me a Dirty Dan for the first two runs on Sunday morning and it makes a world of difference but then he decides he wants it back and I decide he’s only getting one jersey next season. I hurriedly borrow some Shortys off Binnsy which are OK but not ideal.

After practice the event organisers are canvassing opinions regarding starting the race from the first fire road. Binnsy is one of only seven people who are keen for that to happen as he’s struggling with the mud. ‘It’s an unknown quantity’ he keeps saying. ‘It’s a great leveller’ I keep thinking.

As we queue up for seeding I notice Stu Hughes is looking remarkably clean. ‘Have you not done any practice runs today?’ I shout down the queue. ‘No point practicing in these conditions is there?’ he shouts back and then promptly crashes in the first corner. There are many LOLs.

It’s no surprise now but once again I’m off in the middle of all the fast boys. ‘I don’t think anyone will catch me on such a short track’ I think to myself and then I see Will Longden come out of the start gate. It’s quite something. By the first split he’d put six seconds into Weightman and 10 seconds into Titley. He’s also caught the rider in front. I swiftly revise my opinion to ‘they’ll definitely catch me’ and start thinking about places where I can let Guy Theron through. As it turns out he catches me coming out into the open just before the final section and after a bit of confusion about which side he was going to pass on he’s through without too much trauma. It’s an OK run. I made it through the treacherous top section without incident but I’m feeling a bit tired so I didn’t pedal or pump unless absolutely necessary. ‘It’s only seeding’ I tell myself. I’m a minute behind Longden but crucially I’m six seconds ahead of Binnsy. Could this be it? Four seasons of racing and I’ve never beaten him.

In the Grand Vets Pete Little crashes out so Paul Le Maitre seeds first. Binnsy is in fifth but doesn’t fancy hanging round for a podium for fifth. Neil is in seventh in Masters and not too happy with it.

By the time we get to race runs the journey up to the top is far more exciting than the Land Rover Experience day I went on some 15 years ago. We’re bouncing up and down to try and help the driver get a bit of traction.

People spend thousands of hours designing bikes that will work perfectly in alpine dust but no one designs them for conditions like these. Kris Lord has taken matters into his own hands and decides to run his old 26” wheels in a 650b frame because mud clearance is far more important than geometry today.

Having seeded in twelfth I’m 20 seconds off eleventh and I’ve only got ex-BDS organiser Si Paton behind me. He decides not to race which is a bit annoying because it means that unless someone has an absolute disaster I’m definitely last. Oh well, there’s still Binnsy to beat. It doesn’t quite go for me though. There are no crashes but mistakes mean I don’t carry quite as much speed through the mud and I’m paddling my way up a couple of inclines that I’d made it up in seeding. Despite pushing on from there I know I’ll never pull back the time I’ve lost on the top section. As it turns out it was only five seconds but it felt much longer. It wouldn’t have mattered though. Fearing losing his perfect record Binnsy has been watching the lines the Youth riders are taking through the mud and then gambles the lot on some lines he’s never hit before. It comes off and he’s 35 seconds quicker than his seeding run. Simply for going ‘all in’ he deserves his win.

‘I was actually concerned I might not podium’ Titley tells me as we’re queuing for the bike wash. Longden has taken the win but only by two seconds from Weightman with Titley in third. After an injury ravaged season he’s delighted to only be five seconds back. In the Grand Vets Binnsy’s massive improvement means he’s up to third which, in his mind, is a podium position worth staying for. Pete Little takes the win with Matthew Patrickson in second. Big shout out to Army man Mark Buckingham who has improved considerably this season slotting into sixth.

We don’t know how he’s done it but Neil has taken twenty seconds off his seeding time which means he’s second in Masters. That’s two podiums this weekend, we’re supposed to be #makingupthenumbers gents! He’s absolutely buzzing, not just with the position but because his time is faster than Will Longden’s and we’d all seen Will’s seeding running. He’s still nine seconds down on Max Hembroke though who takes the win and the Series with Nick Platt taking third.

In the Elite Men I’ve picked Brayton for the win. It’s so physical getting through the mud that it left me breathing like that time I did slam balls in the gym for a full minute. Thus, his cross fit training must be perfect for these conditions. He doesn’t let me down in seeding but then crashes on his race run before recovering to get second. Charlie Hatton takes the win with Robert Smith in third, an awesome result for Berty. Brayton also takes the Series. In Expert, Smithy lad took seeding by over five seconds. I don’t think anyone was surprised as his stock answer when you ask him how he’s doing at a race is ‘I just hope it rains’. Josh Gleave pipped him by 0.6s in his race run though with Kyle Hall taking third. Gleave also took the Series. In Juvenile Jordan Williams must not be a fan of these conditions. He’d already wrapped up the series with a near perfect records but could only manage third with William Brodie taking the win and Jacey Harris in second.

In Youth Luke Williamson continued his absolute domination, winning seeding by 18 seconds with a 2:37 which would’ve put him second in Elite Men. He’s 16. Crashing on the final tabletop in his race run he picked himself up and still won by six seconds from Ireland’s Chris Cumming with Daniel Cope in third. Unsurprisingly, Williamson also took the Series. In Junior Men Henry Kerr improved his seeding time by 15 seconds to take the win from our old Revolution Bike Park team mate Riley Scott ,with Morgan Tyrrell returning from injury to take third and that’s also exactly how they finished in the Series. Damon Jones was victorious again in Seniors with Chris Cockrill just edging out Pete Robinson for second place. Jones also took the Series.

In Elite Women it was Aston Tutt’s day with Abbie Sloan in second and ‘Ninja Warrior’ Becci Skelton in third. Katy Curd had already won the Series. In Junior Women Maya Atkinson took the win and the Series with Rosy Monaghan taking second and Tea Jenson third. In Senior Women Mikayla Parton was victorious on the day with Monica Mixova taking second and the Series and Corinna Brisbourne in third. Congratulations to them all.

So, that’s another season in the bag. It’s gone by so quickly I can’t quite believe it’s over. It’s been a bit of a mixed bag really. I’ve become a lot more consistent. There haven’t been any 8-minute crash filled runs, in fact I haven’t finished with a time that is plus 50% of the category winner all season, which is a marked improvement. There were two amazing runs where I’ve ridden better than ever before, unfortunately both were in seeding: at Fort William where I pulled over to let Weightman through on the Motorway, and then at Rheola where I held him off all the way down to the Star Wars Section but again pulled over to let him through. That’s World Champion Mark Weightman only putting 30 seconds into me on one of the UK’s toughest tracks.

I’ve ended up ninth in the National Series having been seventh for the last two seasons. It gets more difficult every year with riders moving up from Masters and if you’d offered me that after I came 19th/20 with a half decent run at the first round I would’ve bitten your hand off. I’m also currently ranked seventh on British Cycling and should finish in the top 10 which would be nice.

Although I’ve managed to compete in 10 races this season that’s been it really and that’s the frustrating part. I came into the season stronger than I’d ever been but I simply don’t have time to race and train, it’s either/or, so there have been whole months without any other physical activity and my results have gotten gradually worse throughout the season. I’d love to have a proper go at it next season but to do that would mean sacrificing pretty much everything else and I just can’t do it. It’s a fact of life when you’re 44 that there are other things that are more important than racing bikes down hills. So, the relatively high finish means another season of starting every seeding run in the middle of all the top boys and either pulling over to let them through or apologising for holding them up. We’re all used to that though now!

Oh and I still haven’t beaten Binnsy!

After all the doom and gloom at the start of the season it’s pretty clear that DH is still alive and kicking. The National Series may no longer have the ‘big production’ feel that was present when Si was running it but British Cycling has found a formula that works and I’m sure everyone has learned a lot and they’ll be all the better for it next season.

Thank you once again to all our sponsors: Singletrack, Revolution Bike Park, Geometron Bikes, Sick Bicycles and WeRide for helping us out this season. Don’t forget to follow @makingupthenumbersracing on Instagram for additional content.

Thank you to Rachel a.k.a. Mrs Making Up The Numbers for holding the fort whilst I’m away and finally thank you to you all for reading and for all the comments. If you’re thinking about giving DH racing a try next season, do it; it’s so much fun!

Right Rach, we should probably get that sleeping bag and duvet washed; that’s two full seasons they’ve done now…