They’re not really sins… and what’s so deadly about them anyway? asks Mr Worland.

Words by Steve Worland.

                                     

At any given time, a third of the world is revelling in wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony.

Another third is trying hard to follow a religious, moral or otherwise goodly code based on the approximated opposites. A third third, or more likely the vast majority, is quietly juggling common sense conscience for compromise because none of the listed sins are inherently deadly, or even in any way evil, in isolation. Actually, they’re not sinful or evil at all unless you believe in the concept of sin and evil, and that’s a whole other can of worms.

Neatly avoiding the pedantry of percentages, statistics or anything else that’s likely to get in the way of the truth, it’s fairly obvious that it’s the usual mixture of genetic disposition, upbringing, worldly influences and natural urges that’ll dictate which third of the sins world you’re likely to be in. OK, religion has a fairly major influence for some, but I don’t think it’s worth pretending that even the most godly types live strictly by the book when they think no one is looking.

So what have the deadly sins got to do with riding a bike? Well I’d say most of us experience most of them in one form or another on an almost daily basis…

Here are my own personal, perhaps a little bit weird, seven deadly sins, in no particular order…

1. Travelling sideways: I like cycling and running because they point me in the right direction. I can’t do surfing, skate boarding, snow boarding, racket sport or anything else that twists my axis. Although I still type with one finger.

2. Wearing hats: The only thing that stops me boiling over with heat or stress is the fact that I rarely wear a hat, so the energy plume of excess can escape. Hat wearers bottle it up. The helmets I wear are vented, but I still have fond memories of pre-mountain bike days, dropping helmetless and carefree at silly speeds down twisty mountain roads.

3. Velcro wrist straps on gloves: Gloves never fall off. Loose or stretch-wristed gloves work fine. Velcro straps just play havoc in the wash, ravaging socks or enabling a single glove to hide for months in the long sleeve of a jersey. You’ll have thrown the orphan glove out just before you find the sleeve-dweller.

4. Homeopathy: I’ve tried it, I’ve tried to understand it and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s probably the best placebo out there for those who believe. But it makes no sense and I begrudge the fact that I’ve spent my hard earned cash on it instead of treating myself to more good curries and designer ciders.

5. Latecoming: If you know what time you’re supposed to be somewhere, why not be there at that time? If it’s for a morning ride, get that pre-ride faff out of the way the night before and get up early enough to get ready without all the stress that goes with underestimating how long it takes to look at the weather, get appropriately dressed, change your mind three times, consume breakfast, arrange kids, discover a puncture and get through traffic. You’ve had a lot of time to practice these things. Stop relying on everyone else waiting for you.

6. Freeloading: People who never bring repair kits and money on a ride, and  publications who want words supplied instantly but take months of reminders to pay for them… (I’m happy to say that Singletrack is not one of the culprits.)

7. Helmet compulsion: I wear one most of the time on the bike, but I can also accept that being forced to wear one in a car, as a pedestrian, at home or in the garden would (in terms of head injuries likely to be sustained) statistically make even more sense than wearing one on a bike.