It’s Tuesday, which means it’s Treat time (no, not Chipps in Frankie’s leathers). Unfortunately the usual provider of early mid-week goodness is off sick (get well soon Jamie! 🙂 ), so we thought this might be time to wheel out that stalwart of Singletrack’s intermittent but still magical mystery tour: the Singletrack office kitchen.
This is where the staff gather to drink coffee/stew tea/cook bacon/eat fish and chips for lunch. It’s also where we welcome the bike trade stalwarts who come to Singletrack to show us new stuff (Ian from Wildcat Gear and the Madison peeps are this week’s visitors), chew the fat and drink our coffee. Scheduled visitors and random passer-bys always get a warm welcome – obviously those who arrive armed with Krispy Kremes/pies from Oddies/a box of posh pastries from Patisserie Valerie get an extra warm welcome, but we’ll still be pleased to see you if you’re on a narrowboat holiday and were moored up in the lock out back when you recognised the building (this has actually happened), or have broken your chain but can’t be bothered to take your bike to the bike shop half a mile up the road (so has this…).
The kitchen is also where we keep office essentials like our special custom-made boardroom table/magazine rack/bacon sandwich serving platform (from lovely local craftsman and Five-rider, Jim Leach), our comprehensive and probably quite valuable by now collection of vintage bike trade promo mugs, the hard-working Singletrack coffee machine (Wega Nova single group, non-automatic, plumbed-in, currently wired to single phase power and capable of three phase, 2700 Watts [!], fact fans) and the Singletrack Corporate BS List…
We are a proudly independent company and so get to make up our own rules: therefore certain items of management speak that might otherwise be in regular use in other offices without the batting of an eyelid, are banned and subject to a fine if anyone is caught using them in anything other than an ironic context. Though, this being a crowd-sourced document, the contents are sometimes subject to some rather heated ‘discussion’…
Which brings us neatly to the treat bit…
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The “smell of singletrack”:
It’s teen spirit that’s been matured for a further 20-30 years; fertilised with a weekly spray of mud; pickled in sweat; and wrapped carefully in merino and inappropriate body armour. If Jean Paul Gaultier could bottle it he’d be set for life.
By Matt Letch?
I guess Marc loves the use of the corporate “red pen”!
The smell of single track? A whiff of bad jokes, strong coffee and that smell of unease every time someone looks at that bloke in a mankini…
The Smell?
A subtle blend of Vintage Foot Cheddar, with hints of Expensive Lubricants, combining the lighter notes of Espresso & Damp Clothing leaving a lingering feeling of BS on the palate.
Coined by? Mark I reckon
Singletrack
Smell
Stack
Hell
Whack
Fell
Crack
Smell
Singletrack
The smell of singletrack.
The overwhelming smell of burning pads crossed with the stench from your pants as you overcook that descent for the very last time.
Added by Jamie.
The smell of Singletrack- i thought the smell of singletrack came when i met another mtb junkie in the woods and we chatted about trails and saw the look of a man who had stacked it bad and had lived, as i had to tell the tale – but then on my way to work it came to me in a sweat enduced panic,a heavy feeling of the heart , knowing id been caught -today is the day? The new kit arrives. AND THE WIFES GOT A DAY OFF! She is going to intercept the purchase rendering me unable to fit the kit and head out to my chosen playground for a fix? -Thats the smell of Singletrack -ANTICIPATION AND FEAR
The smell of Singletrack:
……..damp……anything……everything.
All seems a bit odd that list about BS
1 “smell of singletrack”,
2 touch base? (was that what I thought it was?)
3 going forward (to the loo?)
4 cascading!
5 disseminate?
6 use… Nope. Stop there.