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Got this rather attractive woman messaging me and I dunno what to talk about to keep her interest. (out of practice,or maybe I'm just boring!)
What shall I say?
Don't say anything unless asked, ask questions about her.
*bookmarks thread...*
I am, but she's not asking anything back. shes using her phone so only short messages!
Which website is it?
Tell her that you're going to nail her so hard to the bed that any man who pulls you out of her will be crowned King of England.
You're welcome
Ask her what music she likes. But don't for gods sake tell her about your tastes...
Dating advice from STW ..you are new here right 😉
Sack her off! The fit ones are all mental ime...short fat and hairy FTW 😉
And make sure you have plenty of money put aside for her grandmothers operation.
Got this rather attractive [s]woman[/s] 48 year old trucker from Northampton messaging me
Tell her that you're going to nail her so hard to the bed that any man who pulls you out of her will be crowned King of England.
*scribbles down*
Tell her that you're going to nail her so hard to the bed that any man who pulls you out of her will be crowned King of England.
This!
Sack her off! The fit ones are all mental ime...short fat and hairy FTW
Plus one, the best are those with hairy upper lips like Burt Reynolds.
hels - Member
And make sure you have plenty of money put aside for her grandmothers...
What the hell does this mean??
Ok more misic questions (I started with one of those 🙂 )
Thinking about it DezB, this is a troll! We all know you is well handsome and that; pretending you don't know how to engage with women is blatant bull-plop.
😆 at sausagefingers. That's a keeper that one.
Tell her that you're going to nail her so hard to the bed that any man who pulls you out of her will be crowned King of England.
priceless 😆
She doesn't [i]look[/i] mental. Does that help?
I can engage in the flesh (as it were) but online with a stranger.. all a bit weird...
hairy upper lips like Burt Reynolds.
My Dad? You ****** * I'm going to **** you up.
*rings Dad*
hels - Member
And make sure you have plenty of money put aside[s] for her grandmothers operation.[/s]to bring the rest of the family over!
Fixed 😆
[s]S[/s]he doesn't look mental. Does that help?
Fair play; got legs this one.
What the hell does this mean??
they are suggesting she is speaking with you only to extract money for a fictional event
Wont happen as whilst you may be gullible your also as tight as can be 😉
Oh dear. First signs of mental... need to steer her onto happier subjects.
Burt Reynolds eh?
which website was it?
I can engage in the flesh (as it were) but online with a stranger.. all a bit weird..
Respectfully, bollocks 😉
I bet it's okcupid
is that where all the nutters are?
Maybe DezzieBee's hoping she's as tight as he is.
Website is The Free One. I ain't gonna pay for it (as Junky intimated)!!
None of em are that tight DD. not in my age range anyway 😆
is that where all the nutters are?
Errr.... No
*logs off quietly
Website is The Free One. I ain't gonna pay for it (as Junky intimated)!!
So it's free, and she mental (fact)
Does sound like okcupid
You lot are no bloody help
Its the "fishy" website. Does that make any difference?
I am not intomating with you but I hope she is 😉
Grrr...Stole my next line Dez! 😆
So it's free, and she mental (fact)Does sound like okcupid
*signs up for octopus squid*
she sounds nice...
I bet you're glad that shes not being bombarded by hundreds of other e.mails from horny guys inbetween messaging you.....
oh wait...she is?
😉
I'm drying up... 🙁
[i]oh wait...she is?
[/i]
No way! she's replying really quick and now I'm getting "xx" at the end.. wassat mean?
Five pounds* to whoever outs DezB on the fishy dater website
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*might not be genuine
Ah you sod!
x = cute
xx = lil bit crazy
xxx = likes nights in with a DVD
Are you Donald 54 from Epsom?
she's replying really quick and now I'm getting "xx" at the end.. wassat mean?
xx is the anger level and she hates you and wants you to stop messaging her
xx could also mean she likes Coldplay.
Do you think she likes JLS? If she mentions them, forward the message on to me and I'll pen your reply. More than happy to help. 🙂
Five pounds* to whoever outs DezB on the fishy dater website
Gift is fine thanks.
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Pleeeeeeeaaaaase ask her what music she likes.
And then tell us.
this has got inbetweeners car wreck written all over it 😉
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Kasabian..
And, right, this is the best thing.. she doesn't even mention:
-going out
-nights in with a dvd
do you know any dirty jokes ?
Tell her if you rub yourself on a 650b it comes alive.
Nope. Why do you think I posted on here?
xx = Likes to cuddle up with a Galaxy bar.
She only likes Kasabian?
Thats the only name I've got out of her. Keeps chatting but its blood out of a stone. Bloody Iphones!
XX is her dress size.
XX means SRAM not Shimano, surely?
Nice one Klunk... got as far as
[i]Tip #1: Stare at her softly. (Setting The Stage)
[/i]
I've Been staring alright
just cut to the chase and send her a pic of your junk
What DezB needs to impress is a DIY Prince Albert
What shall I say?
If you haven't already, ask her about her preferences re bathroom floor coverings and crystals
Hmm, not sure about that. Definitely some issues there, but... hot. Oh yes 🙂
Bit like me really (minus the issues)
well after someone bending my ear about what a great thing online dating is getting, all i can pay is thank you for correcting me . sounds like an absolute nightmare!
I think its a pain in the arse if you're normal/desparate/ugly
Likes swimming, grapes and Take That.
I'm guessing you aren't in the normally desperate and ugly category dezb , but it sounds like hard works even having a conversation. . .
Dislikes outdoor sports, camping and dark chocolate.
To be fair to okcupid, the girlfriend was found on there. And she's reasonably normal.
Aside from all the sheep fleeces. Doesn't even have (that much of) a moustache.
Likes natural fibres, onesies and Milk Tray.
[i]I'm guessing you aren't in the normally desperate and ugly category dezb , but it sounds like hard works even having a conversation. . .
[/i]
Yeah, I've given up on a few tht were just too boring to bother. Worth a try with this one though, local and.. well you know 🙂
DD. Fancy a chat sometime? You seem like my type.
I think Burt is the least of your worries, TBH
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Yep...
...strangest.
(Likes days on the beach, rain on the window and Ferrero Rocher.)
Likes natural fibres, onesies and Milk Tray.
I wouldn't mind if the sheep fleeces had been washed. There's a bin bag full of the poo bits in the garage, bit smelly.
*wonders how it went?
And, right, this is the best thing.. she doesn't even mention:
-going out
-nights in with a dvd
the first one understandable the second maybe they dont allow dvds in prison anymore
Lie a lot during the early stages of internet flirting
She'll be doing exactly the same
Then, when you first go to meet her and this 17st mamma walks in, you can run for the hills without an ounce of guilt 🙂
Dez do you need rescuing ?
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