[Closed] Am I being an ungrateful sod? Centreparcs content

Centre Parcs isn't really my kind of thing either but some mates were going on a cheap deal and I joined them - it was pretty good fun. As with most things in life it is what you make of it. Sorry but you are sounding a bit childish here.

I would think some consultation is reasonable though if this is going to be all of your future holidays from now on. 🙂

Yes, you are being an ungrateful sod. Sorry but you did ask.

Probably a little ungrateful yeah. But I agree with your ideas on the place. It all seems a little forced and just a touch expensive for me.

I left the OH and Jnr to go with my SiL and BiL a couple of years back. When they suggested going I said "why don't we get a nice cottage somewhere? We can go swimming anywhere, we can go to the local leisure centre if we want to play badminton, or Go Ape if we want to swing through the trees."

I just like a little more freedom.

Go for the weekend with them. But only on the proviso that you can prove to your OH that holidays can be different to that now you have a family. Then you plan the next long weekend or week away.

Reads like you are shaping up to be a real family man ,go you.

cripes! and i thought i was a miserable bastard...

Am I being an ungrateful sod?

Yes. Yes you are.

Being a parent is a whole world of constant compromises.
Centre parcs is clearly her kind of thing. MTFU and look after the baby whilst she does the whole spa thing. Give her a break.

If you can't then find something to amuse you for a couple of hours whilst you're there, then there's something wrong with you. They have bikes and everything. You might actually enjoy it.

Firstly I'd like to say this has nothing to do with a certain vintage Mums Net thread, sorry to disappoint you.

/kicks dog.

Yes you are. Spending time away with the family is priceless wherever it is.

And once mini-grumpypants is a-bed at night you can go out to the river rapids and run multiple circuits of it with all the other mums and dads.

Sorry, but yes you are. Irrelevant if you want to go, it's a birthday present so you smile, say thank you and make the best of it.

Go, embrace it, enjoy yourself and then, if you really must, suggest you organise the next trip.

Would your missus like someone more grateful to keep her company if you're staying at home? Usual Center Parcs rules apply 😉

I don't think you are being ungrateful , sounds shit

Also, they don't put an exploding proximity collar on you at arrival. So I believe.

I don't think you're being ungrateful actually.

Turn the tables and would your wife's reaction been any different? Say you booked a week on a downhill biking holiday, and said "these are going to be all our holidays from now on". Holiday decisions should be discussed and compromised, particularly if you've already tried Centre Parks and mentioned you didn't enjoy it.

Before babies ALL of my holidays were beach holidays for windsurfing. Since then we've managed to still do a few windsurfing holidays (renting a villa rather than a hotel), but also thrown in some sightseeing holidays (e.g. Lake Garda - which admittedly has windsurfing), and am doing Disney this year.

Don't worry, she's on the AIBU page on Mumsnet right now. You'll be getting a right mauling.

It's a hard adjustment to make when the first baby arrives. You were probably already knackered and grumpy, plus you're now officially an old bastard, with your old lifestyle up in smoke. Perfect storm of male middle-aged misery.

Nevertheless, yes, you are being an ungrateful sod, and you had best get yourself out of the doghouse if you want to negotiate any days out riding later this year...

Reads like you are shaping up to be a real family man ,go you.

I'm going to stand in your defence a little. Relationahips are about listening, unserstanding, compromise and everyone getting a little of what they want. I think you should have had your feelings taken into account for YOUR birthday present and Centre PARC's should not have been booked.
I would be very disappointed if my other half disregarded my feelings for my 40th...

We went up to CP for a long weekend with two other families years ago when we had 3 kids under the age of 3 - for me it was pretty horrific and I'd much prefer your idea of place by the beach and a few walks.

As your little dude is only 4 months old there's nothing to be gained from 90% of the activities available at CP, so why go? Because your wife has made the effort would be one reason.

And everything up there ^ is right. You're a family now so suck it up - from your current perspective it's [potentially] going to get much worse before it gets better - Go to CP and stop being a miserable git, you may even enjoy it!

Lalandia in Billund again,now that was hell.

When the kid(s) get to seven or eight, you will probably be hellbound again, one way or another.

I didn't like Lalandia much, but my kids were having a whale of a time there and at Legoland, so I could live with it.

having recently done 40*, i sympathise.

if your missus has booked you a weekend away to Centreparcs for your birthday, she is a shit and insensitive missus.

yes holidays will look a little different with the kid
potentially centreparcs will feature in your future

* my missus agreed that i can arrange and pay for a week holiday, of her choosing - thats my 'present'

Centre parcs is clearly her kind of thing. MTFU and look after the baby whilst she does the whole spa thing. Give her a break.

Not ungrateful no but sounds like you should have realised you were going to lose the argument sooner and not dug your heels in.

It does sound a bit odd that you'd want to spend over the odds for a Centreparcs holiday when your kid is too young to make the most (anything) of it. Your idea of a decent hotel etc. sounds better for now whilst accepting caravans and Centreparcs being the future of your holidays in a year or two.

Also not sure it qualifies as a 40th birthday present, it's a family holiday not in anyway focused on you. She'd have been better off buying you a 40 year old Whisky to drink whilst on the Centreparcs holiday in order to soften the blow :p

That said I don't have kids so my advice is moot...

so, its your 40th birthday, and she's booked you something she knows you wont enjoy, and now is annoyed at you that your not happy with it....

now, if she had booked a baby sitter and a nice meal for your 40th with some friends, and a family holiday to center parks then that'd be different.

but I am with you on this, nearly everyday of your life is going to be spent "for the kids" your 40th you should get a chance to do something for you.

IMHO

someones booked you a holiday for your birthday so it's going to be difficult to complain without coming across as ungrateful

however...
it's your birthday so doing something you wanted would shirley be an idea, if I booked an mtb holiday for my mrs birthday she would sure as shit complain and there's no way she would try to drag me round the trafford centre on my birthday.
Holidays with the kids, better get used to it, but a 4month old at centre parcs? Isnt the whole point of CP to do some fun active stuff while you're there, someone is going to be left holding the baby so again not ideal.

OTOH you're (presumably) an mtber so maybe she thinks you're an active kinda guy so booked an active kinda holiday for your birthday.

whichever way you play it tread carefully.

OP, its not really about you though, is it?

Be grateful for the time together you have as a family, even if your kid is that young. Get a backpack, go for a walk etc...

TBH if you send your other half packing on a birthday weekend away without you, with 10mth as well, you are setting a terrible precedent for your relationship, and as a Dad.

I don't mean to get all mumsnet on you, you just sound like a totally ungrateful sod.

It now looks like I'm spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

Sounds like you've got a right result there then! I take it you've ordered in the coke and hookers already 😀

[i]I couldn't hide my disappointment[/i]

you'll learn.

Going to Centre Parcs is what families do. MrsCD wants to do 'family stuff' with her daughter and you.

Tbh, if you want to go on country walks then Sherwood pines is on your doorstep there and you can get out and do that and still do the CP stuff a bit too. Just treat CP as a base like you would a hotel, they don't lock you in...

Being miserable will not get you anywhere other than looking like someone who didn't get their own way and is petulant as a result. Staying at home while they go is really not a good start to family life - will you do it every time there's an event or visit you dont; fancy on?

Being a parent is a whole world of constant compromises.

Me, I would feel the same and tell them to go and have a nice time, I'm more than happy painting the shed while waiting for the pron to download and pizza to arrive.

Yeah,wait till you find out that she has booked a massive surprise 40th party at the place.Taking months of planning,hours and hours of getting all your friends and family to keep it secret.

whats the worst that could happen if you go?.Other than having your bikes nicked ( take a very big lock and ground anchor). Take jnr for a ride whilst OH goes for a spa 🙂 then buy yourself some thing for the 40th 🙂

I thought that she would have realised that when I was so miserable when went to one for a spa day a few years ago.

Get a grip man. Have you tried explaining it rather than hoping she works it out?

I would have thought a few days in Centreparcs would be immeasurably more pleasant than living with a pissed off wife. She must be pretty pissed off to want to go on her own with a small baby.

Taking babies swimming is ace fun as well!

On the plus side, the peak is only a short drive away, where good walking, biking and pubs can be found.... unlike sherwood that has none of the above.

She's not being particularly sensitive buying you something she seems to want for YOUR birthday; but staying home on your own whilst they go isn't great either. Compromise is sometimes a good thing.

Yes, life (and especially parenthood) is all about compromises but as [i] your[/i] birthday present, it's a bit shit of your missus to book it knowing you don't like the place. You could always thank her for giving you a weekend on your own and go off and enjoy doing something yourself.

Take her somewhere she doesn't want to go for her birthday 😀

You've been married long enough to realise that you'll never ever be forgiven for this, right?

Sounds horrific.

Clearly your Mrs's doesn't understand you, or perhaps you've not made that clear since you've been together?

Either way, I'd be miffed, not many holidays left in your world having hit 40, so sack it off and go riding instead, meet the Mrs's and baby at a hotel you've just booked yourself.. then claim back the booking fee from CP..

You've taken control, like you should.

HTH's.

Expecting your missus to be in any way focused on your needs at this particular moment is probably a bit optimistic. Her priorities are baby and sleeping. I'd be stunned that she has even remembered your 40th, let alone tried to do something nice for you, even if that's not hit the mark.

Go along, try to entertain the nipper while she has a spa and a sleep, then negotiate something you'd like to do when the weather's a bit better. It's possible that strolling along some storm-lashed seafront is her equivalent of Lalandia right now.

No I'm with you Drive, if it's not your thing, and you've made it clear it's not your thing - then it's hardly something you're going to leap up and down at the thought of, especially if it's being sold to you as a birthday treat.

But.... that said.

I had a similar revelation last year when our daughter was 6 months, now our Son is 10 I'd gotten used to at least being able to sit and have a nice meal in a restaurant, and maybe, if there were other kids about his age he could hang out with in sight, but out of earshot we might even enjoy a nice drink afterwards - family holidays were something I looked forward to, hell, the last family holiday before Daughter came we went to Morzine and had a glorious week - we took nice walks, went swimming, they rode horses, I had a day in the mountains on my bike alone, then another with them on the kiddie runs. We ate in nice restaurants every night and our Son found a nice international group of kids to play with till 11pm in the square as we had a few drinks and then he took the mick out of "drunk Dad" on the way home (I wasn't really drunk, but certainly merry).

Now starting all over again, I know that it's going to be another couple of years again until they're not just graft. We're going to Centre Parcs this year, in France - the British ones fill me with dread, at least in France I can escape the Parc and see some France. They serve a purpose, there’s a lake side beach, I can’t stand beaches but if I had to pick, I’d choose a lake over the sea any day, my Wife will want to lay in the Sun and doze, which I find boring – so I’ll keep the kids happy so she can do just that – if the weather is bad it’s like trying to keep a stroppy teenager happy so there’s the dome – it’ll be busy and noisy which makes me stressed and edgy, but I’ll take it. The restaurants will probably be a bit rubbish and over-priced in the great tradition of these sorts of places, but I’ll grin and pay the bill with a smile, I’ll sing along with my Daughter to the Frozen soundtrack and won’t care what anyone else thinks, I’ll scare myself silly on the high ropes with my fearless, stupidly good at indoor climbing Son and with the best will in the world, we'll be back in the Chalet by 9pm so little one can sleep but there's Wi-Fi and a TV so worst case I can fire up some telly or read. I’ll do all of the driving, most of the paying, all of the fetching and carrying and none of it is ‘my thing’ but I don’t care, if I can get a nice smile out of the 3 of them it’ll do me – if all the planets align and I can keep them all happy AT THE SAME TIME I’ll be ecstatic (mostly because I’ve got a pass for Les Arcs with my Mates).

4 months and you still haven't learned your new place in the pecking order.
No not ungrateful , your wife seems a bit selfish imho .

Good post Pjay.

Jeez you guys are far too reasonable - apart from bikebouy who's advice would get me divorced.
There is no way I'd let them go with out me, I'd be even more miserable without them.

It's a weekend, not eternity. Your missus needs a break too, a four month old takes a bit of time and effort to care for. She thinks Centre Parcs is an outdoorsy sort of place where you, an apparently outdoorsy type will be able to get out and about. Sherwood forest has walks, and bike tracks, and even a MTB trail, so take the bike FFS. So it's a compromise for you both. So what? Thats what being a family is about. Take the littl'un for a stroll in a papoose and let your missus get a break in the spa nonsense. Suck it up and get used to being a Dad. And yes, you are being ungrateful. Stay at home and you will regret it for the rest of your life.

You should go along this time as has been pointed out, it's nice that she's remembered your birthday and tried to organise something special for it (although I'd be fuming if my partner had done the same and misjudged me that badly).
However a lifetime of 'family holidays' to Center Parcs sounds absolutely crap! Offer to organise the next holiday yourself and choose somewhere good with lots to do for everyone.

One of the few pleasures of getting old is you can be a cantankerous old git.

But... starting at 40 means you have nothing to look forward to. Save it all up for another 30 years.

I just hate the artificial forced stuff like Centre Parcs

I don't get this at all. been to centre parcs twice now, and I think it's great. no one forces you to do anything. at it's most basic it's a cabin in the woods. take a bike, get out of the complex for a ride one morning, spend the other days chilling, drinking beer on the deck, and playing with your kid.

the pools are great, and free, take your own food, and you don't have to spend anything.

How are your web design skills? Spoof a BBC news page saying Zika virus carrying mosquitoes have been found at popular UK holiday resorts 😉

Is there a thread on Mumsnet:

"I managed to get my head together enough to organise a birthday treat I thought I could cope with whilst looking after a 4 month old and the ungrateful git's threatened to make me go on my own with the baby"

Jeez you guys are far too reasonable - apart from bikebouy who's advice would get me divorced.

No, if you really want to get divorced, put a post on a public forum, that your wife knows you frequent, about how shite you think your birthday present is. That'll do it. 😳

Sorry, but to me it sounds terminal. Upshot is you've said they're away for a long weekend so you'll have time to gather up their stuff and move them into a flat or suchlike and still have time to reflect about how badly you've got this one wrong and maybe come up with an improvement strategy for your future family.
Best of luck.
RM.

Get a grip man. Have you tried explaining it rather than hoping she works it out?

I would have thought a few days in Centreparcs would be immeasurably more pleasant than living with a pissed off wife. She must be pretty pissed off to want to go on her own with a small baby.

Taking babies swimming is ace fun as well!

This and to be fair your original post makes you come across as childish.

I never had any desire to go there either but my wife booked us in for a long weekend with her mates and our 1yr old. As I didn't suck my thumb all the way there it turned out to be an enjoyable weekend even though we were limited as to which facilities we could use. Go, relax, wonder about with Jr, go to the pool with Jr, enjoy the lack of motor vehicles and the pleasant surroundings. You never know, you might quite enjoy it.

How are your web design skills? Spoof a BBC news page saying Zika virus carrying mosquitoes have been found at popular UK holiday resorts

Bit late for that. 🙂 Would just extinguish the remote chance he has of getting any on his birthday. Though he's pretty much done that already.

P-Jay has hit the definition of being a Dad right on the head, top man. Embrace it and have fun!!!

Mixed on this

Life will be family holidays for sure but that does not mean she gets to pick one she knows you dont like as a thoughtful 40 th Birthday present.

If she knew you hated it then I am not sure why she has done this tbh- not sure not going is the best answer though.

Either discuss and agree you talk about it in future or retaliate with equally thoughtful gifts for her ...really dont do that one.

It now looks like I'm spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

This sounds like a win to me. get some beer and pizza in, nice long bike ride finishing by staying up late watching a bad movie eating and drinking and whatever else you fancy all by yourself. Get the whole bed to yourself and not woken up by a baby at early am.
Can't she get a refund and go somewhere nicer with a few more hills where you could take a bike? so you could have half day off with yourself.

[quote="wwaswas"]Going to Centre Parcs is what families do.Certainly isn't.

Centre Parcs is where people go once the spark of life has been extinguished.
Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

A very thin veneer.

I agree to some extent dont really understand why u'd take a 4 month old to centre parcs.

if the kid was 6-12 I might say suck it up.

I dont really see what you can do as a family with a 4 month old in centre parcs.

To be honest I'd rather go without the kid at least u can do the activities then.

I've got a 5 month old at the moment, and with a 4 month old like you say you just want to go some with nice views cos in reality you cant do anything much.

[i]Certainly isn't.[/i]

It's not *all* that families do, clearly. Sorry if I wasn't sufficiently clear on that.

It's a big campsite with self catering cabins instead of taking your own tents with a reasonable range of activities on site and the ability to use it as a base to for days out. Most family holidays I've ever done have involved a base with day trips or 'staying on site' for the day and doing stuff.

I've only ever stayed at one through work but I can see there's a market for what they offer that doesn't require people to have had any sense of purpose removed from their life to visit.

Sounds awful. Any decent riding nearby?

[i]Any decent riding nearby? [/i]

about 5 minutes ride from the front gate.

It now looks like I'm spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

Don't do that: take your bike and go ride in Sherwood Pines.

Family holidays don't have to be at Center Parcs - we've done camping trips to France with plenty of cycling using the trailer, for example.

It seems bit harsh if you don't like it, but little kids love swimming, hoppy Jr has been doing it from 3 months and loves the waves and lazy rivers at centre parcs and always has.

The thing you need to get your head round is that life isnt like it was and to an extent your missus is right, that is what family holidays re going to be, maybe not the specific location but they aren't going to be about you and her. Going to a 'nice hotel' with a small child isn't actually that much fun as they aren't really set up for them, the cot eats into any space you have, once you've put little one down to sleep you're more constrained, its harder to deal with the copious quantities of dirty clothes, etc. And everyone else is trying to have a nice time in a nice hotel whilst little one has a melt down because the foods not on a certain plate, gets wearing. Imminently those hotels will start to include nipper as a person and charge for them and any unfilled space that results from you being a party of 3.

Centre parcs might not be the best but it is easy to go and just turn off for a bit with a decent pool, a forest area with no cars near some riding if you want it. You don't need to do activities.

Was it particularly well thought out by your missus, no. But you've not covered yourself in glory in how you've handled it. Suck it up princess.

My and the wife went when our lad was 5 month old. Decent accommodation, quiet woodland environment, no cars, ducks and squirrels coming up to the windows, ponies & deer, soft play areas, play grounds with baby swings, places to eat and drink that were equipped for babies, a pool for him to splash about in. We had a great time.

You should stay away so that you don’t bring the mood down.

make the most of it now by the time your kid is at school you will be paying a minimum £1200 for a 4 night break there during school holidays

I would have been spitting tacks if the wife had booked CP for my 40th. I had a long weekend with her in Rome (she knows I really like it there) and our 15 month old was left with grandparents. She is making it quite clear an exotic trip is required for her 40th next year.

Been to CP with our now 2 kids and taking a 4 month old there is pointless. 20 minutes in the pool with the baby is all the activities you will be able to do.

So - I'm with you on this. Fatherhood shouldn't rule you entirely. Sometimes (rarely) you can and should be selfish - helps keep you sane/happy. 40th birthday is definitely one such occasion.

The thing you need to get your head round is that life isnt like it was and to an extent your missus is right, that is what family holidays re going to be, maybe not the specific location but they aren't going to be about you and her.

True, but that becomes more so as they get older, and require entertainments. At 4 months old, Miss CD is relatively portable. Our first holiday with Miss R (she was 4 months) was a cottage in the Peak District - we went cycling on the railway paths and had lunch in nice pubs.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

I can see why you weren't exactly bowled over with the promise of a birthday treat trip to center parcs, given that you've been before and didn't enjoy it.
If you Wife knew this, but went ahead and booked it anyway, then that's a bit crap, I reckon.
Having a kid shouldn't mean that every other life consideration gets thrown out of the window and you have to do what all the other families do.

Having said that, now it's booked you might as well go along & try to make the most of it. If you accept that it's booked now, you'll probably have a better time than if you drag your heels everywhere & sulk.

with a 4 month old the chances are yr wife is really sleep deprived/stressed and is trying hard, had some idillic family getaway in her head but just messed up. Sometimes you need to bite your tongue.

Yes its shit at centreparks but its not worth falling out over.

ghostlymachine - Member
Centre Parcs is where people go once the spark of life has been extinguished.
Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

A very thin veneer.

That's total BS, I've been a few times, most recently with my one year old and my brother's family incl. his 5 month old.

Thoroughly enjoyable time. We swam, cycled at barely a walking pace, played bowls, badminton etc, walked around the lake and stalked the ducks and weird little muntjac or whatever they are.

Log burner on in the evening, few beers, takeaway and a game of Linkee. Great fun.

Hammerite on the previous page comparing it to camping or a cottage where you have to look up and drive to a local sports centre to play a quick game of badminton entirely misses the point, which is that [i]you don't have to think at all while you are there[/i].
Everything is easy and convenient. Yes you pay for that, but so what?

Just go with good grace and take a big bag of weed or mushrooms and spend the time off your tits.

Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

As an adult I looked into centreparcs and it was cost more than a foreign hol and all the activities (exc swimming) cost more on top. No ta.
Was a while ago so dunno if it's changed.
edit

by the time your kid is at school you will be paying a minimum £1200 for a 4 night break

2 different issues

issue 1: going on a holiday that isn't really your thing, and with a little one -> solution = suck it up daddy, holidays will be different now, and mum needs the break as well, compromise and try to enjoy it.

issue 2: being *told* you're going on a holiday that she knows isn't your thing *as a treat for your birthday* -> I would be a bit pissed off too, but consider the circumstances, she was probably trying to do something nice and relaxing for the pair of you to have a bit of downtime, so don't have a tantrum over it 🙂

If she'd said "I know your birthday is coming up soon, but I could really do with a break and fancy Centre Parcs, the little one might enjoy it too and it's pretty relaxed, would you be up for that?" then you'd have had the opportunity to discuss it and either agree or find an alternative.

True, but that becomes more so as they get older, and require entertainments. At 4 months old, Miss CD is relatively portable. Our first holiday with Miss R (she was 4 months) was a cottage in the Peak District - we went cycling on the railway paths and had lunch in nice pubs.

They are but all the associated crap isn't. The difficulty is that most self catering accommodation doesn't want to do weekend only, going away for a whole week is easy but a weekend break with a sprog is much more difficult IME. Trying to find somewhere where you can just come and go as you please whilst still being a reasonable place to be is difficult.

You're being unreasonable. The dynamic of life is different now you’re a family – this is your mrs trying to organise a nice trip away as a family and to have some time together without the usual day to day distractions.

Embrace it. You’ll never get this time with your baby and wife back – make the most of it. You may think you don’t like the idea right now, but if you open your mind up to the possibility of some quality time with your family, you should start to really enjoy things like this.

I speak as a relatively new dad (daughter is 18 months old) – initially there was a lot of upheaval and change in my place in the priority list (I’m now dad, partner, individual - in that order) but now I wouldn’t change it for the world. I absolutely love spending time with my little girl and would trade any amount of riding or (and I f*cking HATE this phrase) “me time” for more time with her and my mrs.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Northern Riviera?....

[img] [/img]

P-Jay for father/husband of the year! Please stay away from my wife.

Kids can't be paused just because it's your birthday OP. It's not great, I'd not be too happy if I were in your position, but I'd try and see the positives. Worst case, like some others who've been in your position, it's a chance to spend some quiet time with your family. Your baby won't be this age again.

Apologise and make it right with your partner. You're both probably stressed enough as it is without you having a sulk on, and life's too short to be hacked off at the mother of your child because of something like this.

I like to think that part of being a parent is about striving to be a better person. Putting other people first, especially when they're trying to do something considerate falls in there. Maybe if having a big fuss made of you for your 40th was important to you you could plan an additional celebration!

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

Perhaps his problem is not making it 'very clear' to his other half well in advance. Mrs R may well have a sensible Butlins avoidance strategy sorted out there.

Now the deed has been done though, can't see the point in doing much more than having a moan on t'internet though.

[i]Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? [/i]

when our son was 4 months old I was grateful if my wife was able to make it to the shops, tbh. She'd had a shit time and with the birth, bugger all sleep (not just the usual bugger all but proper getting professional help from the NHS stuff).

When our daughter was 4 months old I was sat on the sofa with a broken hip and my wife was grateful of I was able to make it to the shops.

Maybe a 'safe' choice was all the OP's wife could face/cope with?

MrSmith - Member
As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.
Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

If the OP, had been clear from the start what he wanted and the Mrs did something else then fair enough. But it doesn't appear to have been the case. It might not have been the present (it will be now) just a chance to get away.